Good Ass Fridays 1

From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Mr bean.png   NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Zomg wanring.png
It's just a joke, bro!!

The following page may contain outlandish humor regarding certain public figures/companies. The content of this website is purely fictional and satirical; what is presented in this story is false. Thus this should not be taken seriously whatsoever.
Zomg wanring.png

Since I’m spending a long while making some sort of novel here, “Bleff the Biller”, I’m doing this weekly GAFs as a sort of preview on how this is. I’m planning on updating this page weekly rather than spam essentially the same name (I’m done with GAFs now). I already planned on the next 3 novels of mine, which are all spinoffs to focus on other characters: “A Trip to Mexico”, which I already have been writing (I originally planned it to be the first novel), “The Life of Godlys”, and “Avoidance in a New Dick”. Unlike my other 4 Trollpastas, when not including the one I made ChatGPT write, I’m making this over time and improving it like a script rather than just making it from scratch all at once.

GAF 1: Nov. 14, 1988: Da Godlys Hatcident

I have always found suicide funny. I don’t really know why, it probably was just a massive taboo for me. Well, that is until I read this newspaper 2 weeks ago.

Bleff the Biller wanted to troll the currently insane man known as “Godlys”, but if he did, he’d be blamed for making him insane. Which is something he never did! Meanwhile, Godlys was writing a note to accompany his magnum opus.

The note was called “Never See Me Again”, and read: “They want me to hold my head in shame, so I hold them on, holding hands in vain. Aside from this post, life fucking sucks ass. They won’t, and shouldn’t, worry about me, I’ll be fine, they’ll go worry about themselves. Go worry about something else that’s shitty, what are you gonna do? Because motherfuckers, if this novel doesn’t get me redeemed, it’ll be a long time before you’ll ever see me again, if you do, which is unlikely. I'm gonna stand by myself and my jokes until my very last breath. Because, you know what? A coward dies a thousand pussy deaths. I spent these weeks not joking, I just needed the time alone with my own thoughts. But I turned my downfall to a victory. Making shit that’s secretly fire. That’s why the lord gave us necks, he loves hanging to solve our problems. Something happened on the day I died. My spirit fell a meter, and bravely cried, ‘I’m a dickhead, I’m an asshole, I’m a bastard’.”

Bleff knew the insanity of Godlys, and his love for hot women. So he put some makeup on, got a wig, gave himself a horny, high-pitched girl voice, and put giant bras on to make him have big tits, even putting some on his ass. He threw a brick at Godlys.

But during that time, Kodryn was writing another fucking note to him. It read: “Dear Godlys, I keep writing but you don’t respond or answer my calls. I’m not pissed, I just think it’s fucked up that you treat me like this. I think you should let me put string on you again, or read you that ‘Slut Me Out’ song title again. I honestly am begging for an autograph. Not giving me one is pretty shitty, you’re my fucking idol. I bet you like me more than I ‘love’ you. I think we should be together, or I’ll beat your ass.”

“They think I'm crazy, but I know better, it is not me who’s crazy, but they are and I am who’s pissed, don’t you hear them, still always fucking talking about that shit, why won’t they leave me ALONE,” my Godlys talked to the brick. “We’re not hitchhiking anymore, we’re riding, I told you I’d shoot, but you didn’t fucking believe me, why the fuck didn’t you believe me, oh that’s very humorous, a fly’s fucking a house’s ceiling,” Godlys continued. “Anyways, where was I, oh yeah, whenever someone makes a controversial joke that spreads like wildfire and everyone takes it too seriously now, that’s clearly me, so why wouldn’t you believe me know, I’m clearly the school’s local bitch right now, to celebrate that, let’s have a toast to the assholes, douchebags, scumbags, dickheads, bastards, and jack offs,” Godlys finished.

“Say, Godlys, are ok, are you ok, Godlys, so, Godlys, are ok!” exclaimed Bleff the Biller. Unfortunately, Bleff accidentally put on a costume of himself, so Godlys realized it was him being his usual trolling self. “Fuck yourself you piece of shit, fucking stop!” Godlys cried. That is until Bleff put off the shit, realizing his mistake, and pinned him the fuck down. Godlys was breathing heavily, before saying, “a hot girl fucked with me,”, and collapsed after Bleff stuck a piece of dynamite in his asshole and pissing on him.

Bleff’s makeup and shit came off, which made the citizens that watched in shock praise him. He finally was the arrogant lying piece of shit that is an asshole that somehow got praised like a fucking god. After getting eyes that looked like Godlys, he stated to him in a deep voice, “well, in all damnation you got in the fiery pit of hell you naughty sinful filthy slut, better bring sunscreen as you’ll be there for a long time, for me there’s no question on if I want shit anymore, I’ll get it, I can finally feel my reputation drifting away from yours, you can’t never ever redeem yourself now as it’s gone too down”.

At the night, Godlys was up with Bleff near his bed. “I was nice today to that fucking life ruining bastard, him being a big fat dumbass, I’m not scared of a devil, I ain’t scared of shit, my hands… shitty, the shit won’t come off FUCKKKKKKKKK!” he exclaimed. Suddenly, a mind version of Bleff came in his mind. “Hey, listen up, dickhead, I’m gonna say this once and not repeat it, murthinking you see is like a little pet, the more you try to feed it, the more hungry it will get, but you can’t blame that, that’s fucking stupid, you see it’s got a worm inside that always needs to feed and is never satisfied, listen that’s a nasty little worm that I like to call ‘Insanity’!” the fucked up fake Bleff exclaimed.

“Look at him, lying there asleep, the now idol of many, he’s a bitch, a blind, pussy little bitch, how easily I could end his reign with my shitty hands where I hold the fate of millions, they think he's a god, but he's as mortal as we, I know Just one quick rats ass in his mouth and shit’s over,” Godlys stated before he got a heart attack. “It’s happening again, my motherfucking freak out heart attack, FUCKKKKK, FUCKKKKK, FUCKKKK!” he screamed, before fainting.

Break Time

Random Person: Oh, my God, holy shit, you took that shit to another motherfucking level. Now, an ugly ass autistic like Godlys isn’t supposed to be getting no pussy like this! God damn, what the fuck? Who taught you how to get sexy for a retard?

Kodryn: Bitchlys taught me.

Random: I bet you never used to talk horny, but than you brought your phone to class, showed him the title of a song “Slut Me Out”, and told him to do that for you! What the fuck kind of parent forgot to teach you how to make things seem real? Look at you putting fucking string on him. Now, that clearly is the fucking horniest part! Who the fuck taught you hornyness is the best shit ever?

Kodryn: Bitchlys taught me.

Person: Damn, I bet he took that, “I’m a pussy,” game to a whole fucking level! This is the Kim Kardashian level on being a pussy now, shit! You fucking went all bitchy on that kid, okay? And I bet he fucking hates it somehow, his dick should best be thanking you right now! Who taught you how to be such a pussy?

Kodryn: Bitchlys taught me.

Random: You were like fucking throwing a note for him 3 days straight at one point! You fucking went to levels of hornyness never seen before over an autistic! I was in there like, “oh shit, is he gonna bitch over that or let her walk over him”. It’s like you somehow made that shit faker and faker each day! Who the fuck would believe that shit?

Kodryn: Godlys would believe that shit like a pussy!

RP: You know what, I got to thank Bitchlys! And when I see that dumbass I'm gonna thank him, read his novel before it’s published, steal it, and make it to a movie without crediting him! That’s how good I feel about this man! Oh shit, that’s the fucking paper hat I told you specifically to never make for me! This motherfucker made something I motherfucking wanted to never fucking have and shit! You can’t fucking listen, can’t you? Like, “oh, fucking birds flying on an ants ass, can’t pay attention, gotta see”. Damn right this is the worst motherfucking birthday ever, topped with you fucking adding me like 200 times. Who taught you that?

Kodryn: Bitchlys taught me.

Person: Damn, clearly Bitchlys taught you damn well!

Godlys: I heard, and already fucking knew, the whole damn thing.

GAF 2: 65,000,000 BC: Da Dinosauring Extincident

The legendary troll, Bleff the Biller, wasn’t really seen or heard of until millions of years later. This was the moment he fucking lost it. He made the dinosaurs extinct! That is the shittiest thing he did, hands down!

Back in the good old days, there were many theories on how the amazing creatures like the Homoerectus BonerSaurus got extinct. But they’ve been proven false once it was revealed that Bleff the Biller made them extinct 65 million years ago.

But before I state the ways thought that the dinosaurs got fucking extinct, I think all of you dumbasses need a fucking history lesson or some shit! Before the world, Bleff put TNT on a star as he was trolling the star, whom told Bleff that he couldn’t have cookies. This caused the star to scream, “shit!” After, the entire solar system that we all know and love today was made.

Although, the Earth wasn’t always habitable, it used to be like hell. It wasn’t until a comet, which would later be the moon, hit it somehow, some speculate that Bleff the Biller threw it while trolling it, but that’s a fucking theory.

Early on, the world was just a pretty damn boring place where the only thing happening was bacteria having constant sex and reproducing at the trillions nonstop. 🥱 Until a fateful day that’s still one of the biggest things in humanity that ever happened. A retarded fish grew fucking legs and went on fucking land, let’s just call him, I don’t know, fucking “LandyFishy” or some fucking dumbass shit.

Over 150 million years, the LandyFishy got significantly smarter, but was still pretty fucking retarded. It stopped getting smarter during that time as it got extinct by being ran over by a bus. I know you may think this is a bunch of fucking shit since buses apparently didn’t exist back then. But, fucking shit?! Were you there to prove it?! Fucking were you?!

During that time everyone was happy, the monkeys finally brought the perfect evolution, cavemen, and the dinosaurs were having a lot of fun. But, every species was scared of a species. Was it the “HomoMidget SkinnyRex”? Fuck no, it obviously was the HomoErectus BonerSaurus.

It was all fun and games until the dinosaur extinction. Before it was revealed that Bleff killed them, there were three shit theories as mentioned. Some assumed an ice age, others guessed that there was a lack of food, but most believed a shitty meteor killed them.

But I have the true reason why. Bleff the Biller decided to troll the dinos by making a book that treated them like idiots. Like seriously, why the fuck would any bastard make something purposely stupid because it’s made for kids, or even dumb down people with Asperger’s? We're fucking smarter than you think! Anyway, that’s the worst thing of “Teen Titans Go”, the creators literally fucking admitted they knew the show was bad because it was for kids! Even though I never watched it, Bluey has seen extremely positive reviews from critics and audiences and it’s a fucking kids show (it has a fucking 9.5 on IMDB and has many YouTube videos praising it)!

The book, “Silly Bear”, was literally just, “Silly Bear happy, :) Silly Bear sad, :( Silly Bear sleepy, 🥱 Silly Bear glad, 😃 The End,” I’m not fucking joking!

So, of course, the dinosaurs were bored as fuck. That was the only entertainment source at the time. But Bleff would soon bring them a television, making only two shows on repeat. The first show was just a repeat of someone screaming, “everybody walk the dinosaur,” with the same 3 second clip that’s the only footage of “The Backyardigans” lost “Me And My Friends” pilot.

The second show may have aired only during the graveyard slot, or between 2:00 to 6:00 AM, but it gained lots of popularity from kids, teens, and adults alike. It just went, “hey kids, it’s two o’clock in the morning, you know what time it is, IT’S STOMPAROMP,” and would just have someone stomping for the rest of the programming. Needless to say, these shows show that dinosaurs weren’t like kids and only hated “Silly Bear” because it was a book.

Eventually, their brains started to fucking rot like shit. Bleff the Biller decided to fucking troll them and sent all of them on a journey to fucking New Jersey. But during this time, Bleff the Biller dressed up as a HomoMidget SkinnyRex to cause a fire! “This is what you get for always making fun of me and not letting me watch the television,” screamed Bleff before making the fire, as he was trolling and getting himself in the act.

This caused an outrage. The dinosaurs soon thought they were superheroes coming to save the fire and fell off a giant building while running with scissors. The impact of the fall and the fire gave them bad haircuts, they all landed on an electrical butt plug, and the scissors sliced their cocks and vaginas off like a grapefruit spoon getting in your eye, which also happened somehow. Oh, and they also got hemorrhoids from dingleberries. Really fucking bad, shitty hemorrhoids!

This caused the dinosaurs to try to kill themselves to get out of this hellhole, but that unfortunately failed. Bleff the Biller decided to fucking laugh at them, not knowing they wanted to die. “AHHHHHHHHH, shitty little monsters!” Bleff screamed, this time not in his costume as he was trolling.

“Well if we look so shittily, then kill us,” the dinosaurs bitched. Bleff did his first murder, and in his own hands rather than using badass tools like spears. This also is the first, and only, death from television. Don’t believe that news story of a lady killing her daughter because SpongeBob told her to, it’s so retardedly fake, it has to be an urban legend!

But, this was the first sight of “The Kid Who Avoids It All”. If I could only say seven words to you ever, they would be, “Beware The Kid Who Avoids It All!” He is another immortal being, but could die from some sorts of pain. He literally is part of every tragic event that happened in humanity, but uses tricks and his badass parkour skills to escape it!

Nobody knows how he avoids it all, but he’s thought of to be a fake mythical creature by many, but not most people. With all the not claimed but confirmed sightings, and the fact that Ariana Grande and Bleff the Biller are real, The Kid Who Avoids It All is obviously real and I don’t even believe in any mythical creatures.

He’s definitely NOT a fucking Mary Sue, don’t call him that. He has a very fucking sad back story to prove it. :( Uhh… he slipped on a fucking banana peel once as a kid. The kids at school always made fun of him, calling him uhhh… “Slippin’ Jimmy” and telling him he would never be able to avoid silly shit, yeah.

Finally! We have the three immortal beings in the story! Now we can live high in the quality and low on the filler!

Break Time

Our normal schedule will return soon with this filler! Honestly, I’m forced to make this fucking filler! Fuck filler. Filler can suck my dick! It’s making me fucking do the same fucking repeated annoying ass dance to fucking flute music! Filler is ass, but flute music is more.

Change my fucking mind. Who doesn’t love filler’s ironic buffoonery?! I can assume everyone fucking hates this tomfoolery, and I can see why. Damn cock sucking, dick fucking, stupid ass motherfuckers! Anyways, your scheduled programming is back and shit!

GAF 3: Intro:

You might think that the offensiveness in literature has become excessive.

It hasn’t, the real, original books were “far too offensive”.

You see, the older versions of books, the versions you don’t know,

Became censored and fucked up decades ago!

They removed all of the sex, violence, and swearing,

Making it generic kids stuff, friendly and uncaring.

Well, shut the fuck up everyone and listen to what’s truly excessive!

As this is definitely getting banned for being “too offensive”.


Headline from a local newspaper: “Anonymous Troller Trolling! Is He Worse Than Jeff the Killer?”

Look, as you can see, I’m a massive collector of shitty little newspapers. It doesn’t matter if they’re old or new, or even local or mainstream.

I’m not sure if this fucking shit has something to do with it, and you’d know if you read my profile, but I’m a 13 year old and I also have Asperger’s. No, it’s not a condition where burgers grow out of my ass, quit being dirty minded! It’s essentially a smart version of autism, but we can also actually fucking take jokes and roasts perfectly fine (well at least for me). I can’t confirm this, but I bet it’s why I may or may not have a big dick (for those in my school, it’s certainly NOT, you should know that it’s only 1/14 of a milimeter).

It’s very easy though to tell the difference between the two. While normal autistics, or as I call them “normies”, will get super pissed, yell at you, and/or cry when they hear even the lightest “swears” that shouldn’t be ones (hell, damn, ass, twat [for the motherfucking Brits], and crap), Aspies will curse a fuckton. While normies will either not understand what sex is or freak out over a single and really tiny innuendo, us Aspies have a very edgy humor and will almost always laugh at innuendos and sex jokes. But to be fair, who doesn’t at least titter when you realize that there’s so many people in the world, at least one couple has to be doing the funny 69 sex position at any given time, or someone smoking the humorous 420 weed at any time, especially Snoop Dogg.

Anyway, we went off topic. As I read through the newspapers, I found a reoccurring evil troll in there, Bleff the Biller! No, he’s not a fucking shitty ass copy of Jeff the Killer. The point of this page/novel is to prove if Bleff truly is an evil troll or not.

Honestly, I’ll be damned if anyone believes this. Trust me, I was equally as skeptical when I read the newspapers. But believe me, this is real! Honestly, I’d be damned if anyone finished reading this long ass thing in the first place. It’s so fucking long, it’s the first, and possibly only, time where I’m not adding categories or checking my grammar and will let the admins do so. I can’t be bothered to read this seven times to see what categories should be added and to fix my grammar errors like I usually do, so the admins will.

????: Da Birthing Paincident

The origins of Bleff the Biller can be a bit fucking confusing, to say the least. It was originally thought that the Trollpasta version of a cartoonist, Godlys, tried making a story about him, but he came to life, went out the computer, and caused badass madness. It’s bad this was debunked, as that was the shitty but fun way! While the other ones are fucking as boring as a fucking wet carrot.

Eventually, people went on a search for history from billions of years ago, because of a 2012 Kim Kardashian quote that stated it was heavily hard for monkeys to evolve (no shit, Sherlock), but asked exactly how hard it was (no innuendo intended). So, let’s go back to 2 billion years ago.

“Has anyone even come close to making the perfect evolution?” asked monkey #2533. “Nah, it’s only been 2 billion years of nonstop sex and randomly requesting stuff with randomly generated reasons given, we still have infinity years left anyway, I did state I wanted a dildo because I wanted to murder everyone the other day though,” said monkey #892. Monkey #2533 just replied with, “that shit’s hilarious”. “What the fuck dude, you can’t say that shit!” screamed monkey #19875, with monkey #32458 replying with, “I’m typing my things randomly, just like all of you, dumbass”.

“You’d do WHAT to Vaporeon?!” asked monkey #19875 after seeing that #32458 would take Vaporoean’s cock and throw it in the air to eat it. “Dude fuck off, I know for a fact that furry fanfic you ‘randomly typed while requesting’ wasn’t accidental, they should fire your ass,” said #32458.

“Oh, oh, I think it’s coming out my pussy!” screamed #5987563. “Wait, what, OH SHIT, guys look!” screamed monkey #1. Which caused all the monkeys to come to the scene and fucking make shitty happy monkey noises. Until it came out, a primitive chicken which answered the question on if the chicken or egg came first. “You made us stop our hot monkey sex and typing like a Twitter user when they find something funny for a fucking chicken?!” monkey #892 asked. “It’s random, shithead, don’t you think we’ve done this over 500 times an hour,” stated monkey #5987563 before all the infinite amount of monkeys beat him the fuck up to death! “I’ll put you in a fucking coma you good for nothing, shitty banana-brains!” they screamed.

Let’s go to 1 billion years later. “God I’m fucking bored, what day is this shithole?” asked monkey #405. “Uh, we are on like day 1,095,727,500,000,” answered #1. “No, like I meant what day of the week it is,” #405 stated. “How the fuck am I supposed to know, weekdays won’t be used until nearly a billion years later at 21st century BC by the Babylons,” #1 claimed. “Oh yeah right, well I’m sure they won’t mind if I leave early,” #405 wondered. “Leave early from fucking what, fucking infinity?!” #1 asked. “Well yeah, see you tomorrow,” #405 replied. “How are you supposed to know when the fuck tomorrow is… God, whatever man,” #1 sighed.

“Holy shit, HOLY SHIT, it’s happening for real this time, I can feel the sensation in my pussyhole!” said monkey #717337172849. As almost all the monkeys were screaming of joy, #5 said, “this is it, this is finally the end, after all this time, we’re finally free”. Unfortunately, the problem is that it was just Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, and Saul Goodman looking for blue meth.

“Well, Walt and Jesse, looks like there was no meth for your money laundering scheme in any of the female monkeys’ pussies,” Saul sighed. “Honestly, whatever kind of species that is looks ugly, let’s be glad it was just people looking for meth instead of the next evolution form,” said monkey #5. During that time, monkey #7 was the one not going to the scene because she didn’t randomly type and put the same thing for the entire time. Finally, she was having Bleff the Biller out of her pussyhole. “TROLOLLOLZLOZLOL,” laughed #7.

Bleff the Biller was sort of fucked up looking. Take the look of Trollface, but with the hair and anorexic body type of Jeff the Killer. And that’s exactly how Bleff the Biller looks like. While he was able to give birth to Jeff the Killer and Trollface, he remained the same looks, never able to evolve and being immortal.

Although, there was another immortal being born from #7 during that time, too. Ariana Grande, who’s a 5'0 but 1,000 lb ugly bitch with both small tits and a small ass. Of course, I’m saying this since I never saw how she looks and I fucking hate her music. Oh shit, what if she finds out I’m fucking with her during this novel, she’ll sue me and shit! No, wait, she won’t read it if I make a Tweet telling her to not as it fucks her up. :)

But a few shitty years later, something unexpected was fucking revealed. Ever wondered why dirty minded scientists called it a “big bang”? Well, it turns out they were serious as fuck. I know this might sound fucked up, but let me explain!

Before the universe existed, there was nothing but two aliens, who watched “The Nothing Show” for billions of seasons. “Fuck it, this is getting pretty fucking boring, I want something to happen, I’m canceling this shitshow,” said Kang. “I agree, anyways, what show shall we make today,” Kratos asked. Before they were able to list some shitty shows, Bleff the Biller appeared, and was banging with the white screen as he was trolling. As a result, the white screen (nothing) became something (the universe).

Break Time

So, let’s discuss this thoroughly. A couple nights ago, as of writing this, I had this stupid ass and weird as fuck dream that I’m not sure what it means. It was basically me and my current 5th period teacher having some sort of conversation after the bell rang. At the end is the only part I remember, where she mentions that there’s a rumor that I have Down Syndrome and asked if it was true.

I kindly stated it was false and fucking told her I had Asperger’s. Guess what she did? She called me a fucking retard! So I slapped her upside the head multiple times, flipped her off with both my middle fingers, and left.

So, I woke up at 3:47 AM wondering if I had it, so I did what any reasonable person would do and looked the physical traits up on Wikipedia. I actually fucking have a good few, so she might be right.

If you’re somehow fucking reading this shit, I don’t have fucking Downs just because I kind of fucking look like it. And if you think I’m one, fuck you for calling me a fucking retard in my dream you fucking bitch! It’s very ok if you don’t think it and it was just in the dream, sorry my nonexistent bipolar was talking, besides my cursing genes is from my dad. Even then I allow my friends to call me it, call myself it, and use the word outside of myself many times. But, I can say it because I’m technically autistic, despite being kind of smart.

GAF 4: November 22, 1987: Da PSA Hijacident

Just 4 legendary days later, Bleff the Biller had to do some more shitty trolling! He went to hijack the History Channel to give a very fucking important PSA. “Attention, just because you have Asperger’s doesn’t mean you can fucking say ‘retard’,” the message said for 8 minutes and 11 seconds. That message is fucking retarded, as I have Asperger’s which is AUTISM! So I can obviously say it whenever I want without getting cancelled: retards should shit on my fucking ass, people who don’t allow me to say the retard word are motherfucking retards because only autistics could fucking say retard!!!!!!

I can literally give fucking proof of this, “The Book of Autism” has a section conveniently called “This Is What Autistics Actually Fucking Believe In: The Great Documented Life, Discovery, and Truth of Asperger’s”. The great and fucking legendary prophet, Albert Einstein, realized he was fucking forced to hear all the shitty noises around and was more antisocial than a fucking fly on a pancake. But Einstein wanted to say “retard”, but was too fucking intelligent to have the autisms! This is what autistics actually fucking BELIEVE in!

So, he made the scientific “discovery” based on shitty lies that Asperger’s and autism were the same fucking thing! But he knew that people won’t fucking believe him, so he sent everyone to a brainwashing facility where they all spent days watching hypnotizing, autistic content. And they soon fucking believed the man, and became delusional fucks! I’m not fucking joking, this is what autistics actually fucking believe in!

Anyways, I did what any reasonable person would do by hijacking the channel back. That move would save or ruin my reputation at school, but this shit was more than my fucking road to redemption. I gave a message that stated, “hold up, retard, Asperger’s is part of autism, you can say it,” which also showed an animated video of fucking EVIL PATRIXXX killing Bleff! “Let’s fucking get revenge on this man, let’s fuck him up in the ass!” exclaimed Pat as he shot Bleff, “ahhhhhhhhhh!” Bleff screamed scarily during it.

Although, the original History Channel would shut down from the impact until reopening in 1995. Also, for those saying that the Max Headroom was real, you’re delusional, brainwashed fucks! That was something faked as the hijacker never got caught, so it was made for a funny YouTube video! Instead, this hijack is real because Bleff never fucking gets caught!

Break Time

TrickyNix: Wait, you can’t say bleep?

Godlys: Yep, shit will just fucking bleep out if you try to say “retard” without being an autistic!

Thermometer: So you have to be a bleep to even say bleep?!

Godlys: Yep. :D

Meaty: Well, that’s not fucking fair. I should be able to say retard!

TrickyNix: Hey, you didn’t get bleeped?!

Meaty: Oh, fuck.

Godlys; Looks like we know something about you now! Do you understand what 2 plus 2 is, Meaty? You fucking retard!

GAF 5: 1915: Da Kooling Khacident

You know the “racist” group, the fucking Ku Klux Kan (KKK). Well, they used to be “Da Kool Kids Klub”, until one day Bleff fucking taught them to hate rich people, as he was trolling.

“My Fellow Klansmen, I stand before you today to speak of a fucking important matter. A matter of shitty equality and of justice, yet one that has been impeded by our fucking inherent divisions. We are all human and must unite together as one to solve our common problems; the problem of class and wealth inequality.

For far too long, the fucking rich have had control over all aspects of our lives. They have leeched onto the shitty success and prosperity of the nation for their own gain, taking away from the very people who laid the foundation of our fucking nation. They have criminalized and abused those who are powerless and have used their influence to protect their own selfish agenda. It is time for us to stand up and reclaim our prosperity.

The rich will never grasp the fucking power of unity. For them, it is about the individual and the shitty dollar, but in order to move forward together, we must strive to ensure that everyone has the same opportunities and access to wealth and success. We must organize and fight for the shared prosperity of our nation—a prosperity that must include each and every one of us or none at all.

For far too long we have allowed the rich to rule our nation without regard for the common man. No fucking longer! It is time that we make our fucking voices heard! That we stand together and resist this oppressive system of the wealthy horde. It is time that we stand together and let our message be heard—that we reject a system of wealth inequality and that we demand a system of shared common good.

I call upon all my fellow Klansmen to join hands and stand against the oppressive greed of the wealthy. Let us stand up and fight for the shared prosperity of our nation so that everyone has a chance to create a better life for themselves. Together, we can make our voices heard and make a better tomorrow for us, our children, and our children's children. Thank you.” He exclaimed in the speech.

So, he got everyone white scary ghost costumes to scare the rich, made them have a funny, but threatening, Christian mini sign, and changed the name of the group! He started his attack on the rich by harassing them. “Hey, Richie McRichRich, yeah richer, I’m talking to you, what’s in your bag richer, your checkbook,” Bleff exclaimed. “We don’t take kindly to richers here, damn I hate richers, why I remember heaven being here and not having rich people allowed,” he continued. “Hey, I got a joke: how many fucking richers does it take to fix a lightbulb, none because they’re so fucking rich they pay for that shit to happen,” he giggled!

Later in the night, he let a few people go off on their own as Godlys took control of them, but he had to shit and was constipated at that time! The rest of the people grabbed their crucifixes, chanting at the rich people, “the power of Christ compels you!”

“Hmm… an angry mod of ghosts with weapons and pointy white hats fucking chanting, for some reason I feel very fucking uncomfortable,” they said as many were killed, but the others ran off and were saved by the shitty group: Kodryn, Kaiben, and Benny. Kodryn was also writing a note.

“Dear Godlys, you haven’t replied to my few notes, there must’ve been a problem at the post office. Sometimes I fucking scribble my addresses when I write. Anyways, fuck it, how have you been? I know you hear this shit everyday but I’m your biggest fan and even got that underground shit you made. Sometimes I put my finger in electric sockets too, it’s like adrenaline rushing through me wondering if I’ll die or not. My man’s jealous that I write to you 24/7, but he doesn’t know you like I do.”

When Godlys returned, boy was he pissed. He knew when Bleff came back, he’d be fucked and dead shit on a stick! “You, all 3 of you, I’m so pissed and I know what the fuck I’m going to do,” Godlys stated as he went fucking insane. “First, I’m gonna tear your lips out, then I’ll gouge your shitty eyes out, yeah that’s what I’m gonna do, scared, I’ll crush your bone to fucking putty, next I’ll tear your arms out of the socket, and you know what else, I’m gonna grind my teeth in your balls and you’re gonna fall, and I’m gonna look down and I’m gonna laugh, but first, FIRST, I’m gonna shit on you, don’t you go anywhere, you stay right there, right on that spot because I’ll find you!” he exclaimed!

“Hey, Godlys, you fucking think it’s threatening?” asked Kodryn. “Looks like there’s multiple of people in you, do any of you even know shit about me, who is it who you think you see, do you know who the fuck you’re talking to, shitheads?” asked Godlys. “Even if I told you, you wouldn’t fucking believe me, a full school year without anyone knowing, I’m not the retard I’m the smartass, while you’re all faking being horny for me I was aware the entire time, whenever people take a joke too seriously, it’s always my joke, whenever people think someone’s joking when they’re not, it’s always me, you never know when I’m joking, I’m the one who’s aware,” he continued.

GAF 6: Now: Da Bowling Pincident

So, of course, we have seen that Bleff the Biller is an evil troller! So that’s why I’m going to fuck Ariana Grande to death with a 7.25 foot tall penis tied to me!

Godlys: Moan and give me 20 strokes!

Ariana: OUCH! OW!!! Aghhh! Woah! NO!!!

Godlys: It’s penis beating that begets sex!

Ariana: Ouch! FUCK!!! You mustn’t. Big penises are for fucking!

Godlys: Shut the fuck up, your fatass shouldn’t get any cocks to know that shit, Ms. Eats 18 daily Twinkies! HI-YA!!!

Ariana: Ouch! Ow! Harder! Retarded! Ow ow owie zowie!

Godlys: You must learn your place and stop fucking drooling! (As Ariana dies but soon gets back alive) FUCKKKKK!!!!!

Bleff: You….. are a true champion! (He reveals himself as being Ariana Grande) Now get the fuck out!!!! (He throws Godlys)

Everyone: There he is, get him! Fuck you Bleff the Biller! You’re gonna get fucking punished!

Bleff: Oh boy, why I sure do like being a bowling pin! It actually admittedly does at times get a little annoying always falling over, but I guess it’s part of the job. At least that’s the worst of it. (He gets sent down)

Bleff: Oh, looks like it’s my turn now. Wait, where the fuck am I? Why am I in the fucking middle of the fucking lane? Everyone else is over there. Where the fuck even is the bowling ball? What the hell?! (After, he gets fucked by a bowling ball)

Boy: Mommy, what’s my bowling ball doing to the bowling pin and why?

Mom: I don’t know to be honest, I guess you could just call it a bowling pincident.

The fucking joke this whole fucking time for the incident puns was fucking bowling porn! Therefore you must fucking laugh! Anyways, the writer of this trollpasta wishes to state that he doesn’t in any way wish to tarnish or demean the “beloved” character(s) [of] the Jeff the Killer creepypasta by Seusser and somehow “praised” songs of Ariana Grande. No malice or damage to their goodwill was intended. So if you’re somehow fucking reading this shit, Ariana, please don’t fucking sue me, because it will drag through the courts for years, and I don’t have a lawyer- and besides, you’ve already got $250 million, which is like all the fucking money in the shitty world while I only have $200. Ok?


(Insert the KKK shit, Jesus shit, and bowling porn shit)

Bowling Ball: Oh cool, you finally made it.

Bowling Pin: What the fuck is this place.

Bowling Ball: This is a universe where humanity never fucking invented bowling, or the shitty troll known as Bleff the Biller.

Bowling Pin: Shit’s quite kickass and nice.

Bowling Ball: Fuck yeah.

Bowling Pin: Listen, what even is the fucking point in life? I spent my entire life knowing no shit except Bleff and bowling animated porn. All I could start to think of is at least they brought humor, particularly the former humorously trolling at shitty events in humanity, well known things throughout history, and other various tragedies. Without Bleff, nothing could be funny and by the time anything happens now, I will just think in my head about—

Bowling Ball: Fucking stop. Bowling animations, bowling porn, and Bleff the Biller can’t hurt you. Not even the cum, rapey one that combines all 3 of them here and will likely be fucking viral on Twitter soon.

Bowling Pin: I wish it could be like here everywhere else.

Bowling Ball: Someday.


Our books living as they’re written, upside down,

We can only write a book revolution to stop them being the wrong way around.

People don’t even want to hear the real preacher.

They act as if our president is God banning books like a teacher.

And now the USA is all fucked up and censored.

Instead of being a land of the free, it’s became all restricted and sensored.

This makes the place no longer treasured.

The signs of truth were tattooed across her often entered vagina, like an animal.

This made everyone suddenly hate any kind of scandal.

They removed anything that wasn’t woke, hiding it in the vault,

Making it feel like a dick attempting to assault.

Censorship is a bastard, the illegitimate government of our world,

Who soon shit on the world and making it fucking whirled.

And freedom of speech was killed by someone who thought it would be conceded.

Although democracy, Christianity, liberty, and justice preceded.

All of that shit bubbling up, making this great country have their dick with a giant hole.

Whatever happened to having a motherfucking soul?

All I ever wanted in life was a hot, skinny, and pretty girl with big boobs and an even bigger ass to be my wife.

Making several children together that I’ll give a good life.

This book will be censored in America!

Shit will cause a big hysterica!

Probably even banned by an SJW bitch named Erica.

Will this shitty novel be banned or censored in America?

GAF 7: 64-80 AD: Da Roman Warcident

As I mentioned, people still believe the Romans killed Jesus instead of the Jews, who are so glad for that crime they haven’t apologized in nearly 2,000 fucking years! But it has always bottled my fucking mind on how exactly? Well, after reading this news I know.

So, on 64 AD Bleff wanted the fucking Romans to be attacked so he stated that they killed Jesus! “I saw the Romans kill Jesus instead of the Jews who fucking hated them, they were chanting to kill Jesus, so scary,” he bitched. “But, the Romans were not known to hate Jesus and the Jews fucking hated him, so why exactly would the Romans be the murderers?” asked everyone.

“Well, the Romans felt his religion and himself were a threat to their own fucking land, silly goose,” Bleff stated not really knowing what the fuck to say. “Well, why were they screaming to kill Jesus if they didn’t actually fucking hate him?” Bitchlys asked. “Uh, actually they were crying all over the place and screaming from the scary threat!” exclaimed Bleff. That statement was fucking stupid enough for people to go to the wrong land.

“Hey, buttfuckers, we’re here, wait till Hitler teaches you all a fucking lesson nearly 2,000 years later,” they all screamed acting fucking cartoonishly evil! Godlys was nearly at the scene. “Mr. Hand, why the fuck are you looking at me like that?” he asked innocently.

“Haven’t you forgotten all the shitty pain and suffering the leader, Aiden, has caused you like this is hell for no damn reason?” asked Mr. Hand. “Mmm, Mr. Hand, that shit was a long ass time ago, and I was only a fucking child,” Godlys responded. “We could’ve won the child’s stand up challenge, we could’ve been fucking huge!” Mr. Hand exclaimed like a fucking shitty maniac. “That shit wasn’t fair; she had fucking cinematography, how the fuck would we compete with that shit,” Godlys claimed.

“Well, he’s fighting in the war, we can finally fucking beat his ass, I know what we can do to make shit better,” Mr. Hand stated. “How?” Godlys asked, before Mr. Hand whispered to him. “Mr. Hand, I can’t kill the leader!” exclaimed Godlys. “Kill him, you’ll make a fool out of yourself again,” stated Mr. Hand.

The day later, Godlys only stated, “to hell with Aiden, our leader,” for no fucking reason. That failed horribly. Soon, Mr. Hand talked to him. “Shit happened again, didn’t it, now we do things MY way,” he stated. “I can’t kill him, Mr. Hand, you’re gonna have to do it,” he bitched as Mr. Hand laughed.

A few days later, Godlys came to the scene. He was ready. But, someone stopped him. “No, Godlys, don’t, you can’t always win and you can’t hold grudges against someone just because they won and you lost,” they stated. Godlys stopped but Mr. Hand didn’t, by burning the entire place of Rome down and shooting the leader 28 times until he died. “That bitch must fucking die,” the man screamed until descending off to his own thoughts again!

Years later, 70 AD, the Jews realized they were no longer fucking credited for their work! So Bleff decided to act as them and sent a fucking note that stated, “we’re doing some evil and scary shit to you, guess what the fuck it is”. He got all pissed that his joke wasn’t scaring them, so he went and spent 10 years tanking the entire place of Rome and fucking bombed it!

Meanwhile, the Jews went and basically said, “hippity hoppity, this land is now our property,” so they threw 50 fucking million nukes to Rome, while also trying to destroy their shit. ‘Tis but a fucking tiny ass piece of dirt got loosed But it was so important, it somehow single fucking handedly caused the entire fall of Rome.

GAF 8: 1227: Da Genghis Khancident

Bleff the Biller wouldn’t just fucking troll normal ass people. He also fucking trolled god awful humans. He ran to Genghis Khan’s house uninvited and shit.

“Yo, Genghis, I heard you had over 3,000 kids, how many women do you fuck a day,” Bleff said as he was fucking trolling. “Who the fuck are you, and why do you give a fuck that I’m a super stud who impregnated the same woman over 3,000 times without fucking her?” asked Khan. “Hey, I’m just trying to be curious, considering it’s only one singular bitch, it wouldn’t be surprising if your dick can’t be seen and she’s only fucking you for the money,” Bleff stated.

“Nooooo, my penis is in the 36 inch gang, obviously you’re jealous at my gigantic horse-sized male sex organ,” Genghis braggingly lied like a fucking bastard. “Damn, clearly that’s what killed 40 million people and took over 22% of the world, not you because you’re a good Christian boy, amirite,” Bleff stated as he was trolling. At this point, Bleff was well aware that Genghis was feeling this shit, and was a bitchy little pussy.

“No, my penis is what caused 16 million people to be descendants of me, I caused 10% of the population to die and invaded 8.5 million square feet,” Genghis corrected Bleff. “Ah, so you’re the one who does crazy shit, that means you’re the one who killed his brother at 10 over fucking bread, that’s not cool,” Bleff stated. “There was a lack of food, I was in fear and defense of my life, you gotta eat to live,” Kahn claimed.

“Yeah, but here’s an obvious fucking life hack: splitting the food, sharing is caring,” Bleff said, which made Genghis fucking lose it. To be fair, me personally, I wouldn’t fucking handle that type of shitty disrespect either. “That’s fucking it, I’ve had your shitty personality far too long, it’s war time!” Screamed Kahn.

“Ah, I got a diss track for you,” Bleff legendarily said, as he dissed the man, which I’ll include in the break time. This pissed Genghis off big time. He had to motivate his army members to kill a singular man. “Alright everybody, uhh, uhm, let’s fuck up this guy,” he stated as everyone fucking cheered at the greatest motivational speech of all time.

As he walked back to Bleff, Bleff said “ehhh, what’s up Kahn?”. “I’m ready to kick your ass,” Genghis said before Bleff pointed out he smelled horrible and to use deodorant since it’s not expensive. “Uh, oh, 5:30 AM, time to pray, praise Genghis, he wars against everyone, doesn’t let anyone else fucking start one,” Bleff said as a confused Genghis Khan prayed along with him before Bleff fucking smashed his head with a giant ass mallet. Wait, so technically I started the fucking war, I see, you’re the rebellious rebel who LOVES to fucking rebel, right,” Bleff said as he was fucking trolling.

“You know what we do with inferior species like you, right? We punish them, and I can’t wait to punish you in a special way,” Bleff continued. Pissed, he points a fucking shotgun at Bleff. “Uh oh, I’m fucked-ios,” Bleff stated before kissing Kahn’s shitty head and running away cartoonishly.

Bleff was hiding in a fucking bush as Genghis got close with his shotgun, with both of them constantly moving at that moment. “Oh fuck, an incel,” Bleff said as he was trolling while putting off Genghis’ fucking pants. He used the biggest magnifying glass and smallest measuring tape to measure it at the length of 28 atoms. “Tiny, isn’t it, so that’s what this shit’s all fucking about, so that’s why she has sex with other men,” Bleff said as he was fucking trolling. “Go fuck yourself!” Kahn screamed and shit, before Bleff kissed him on the lips. “Tastes like the ass of a chicken after shitting,” Bleff said, both trolling and telling the truth before zipping away.

Bleff got himself in a woman’s dress to sexually attract Genghis, which passed so much he couldn’t get his eyes off him, or so was thought. “Ah yes, you love my big tits, I know you just wanna fuck me with that gigantic cock,” Bleff said in a horny voice, as he got off the camel he was riding. Unfortunately, he went to the camel and set up a hot dinner date for it. “I always wanted to fuck a camel, I can also get condoms if you want me to,” he stated. But Bleff had a better plan that would fucking kill him.

“There you are, took so fucking long, we have to make another anti-Bleff the Biller propaganda video, get in your fucking Bleff the Biller suit,” Bleff stated as he was trolling. Behind him were the soldiers, as Bleff mentioned he’d be there to them. After Bleff got the dynamite on Genghis’ hand, the soldiers fucking shot him in the ass and dick 21 times. “FUCK!!!!” screamed all the soldiers when they realized the dynamite, and they ran away.

Unfortunately, all the soldiers died. Leaving Kahn alone by the fucking impact as his teeth made a piano sound before he died. So, Genghis Kahn finally fucking died, lol.

Break Time

Bleff the Biller, here to diss and troll

Genghis Khan, you're old news, time to fold

You had over 3,000 kids, how many women you fuck a day?

Your horse-sized lies, man, get the fuck out of the way

Bleff the Biller, here to spit some truth

Gonna diss Genghis Khan, that's what I do

He thinks he's a stud, with 3000 kids

But it's just one girl he never even fucked, that shit’s what he fucking admits

Genghis Khan, you're just a troll

Your ego's bigger than your black hole

You killed millions, that shit’s not cool

Bleff's the one to make you look like a fucking fool

Genghis says he's got a 36-inch member

But we all know he's just a shitty pretender

He thinks he's the reason for all those pussy births

But he forgets about the woman’s worth

Your dick size, your excuse for everything

Killed 40 million people, now that's something

You're a good Christian boy, that's a good one

Splitting food, sharing is caring, shit's not done

Genghis Khan, you're just a troll

Your ego's bigger than your black hole

You killed millions, that shit’s not cool

Bleff's the one to make you look like a fucking fool

Genghis claims he had to kill to survive

But really, he just wanted to thrive

He invaded lands and caused a lot of shitty harm

Bleff's here to call out his false charm

Killing your own brother for bread, that's just fucking weak

Defense of your life, is that shit what you seek?

Sharing is caring, it's a fucking fact

But with your ego, you're too blind to act

Genghis Khan, you're just a troll

Your ego's bigger than your black hole

You killed millions, that shit’s not cool

Bleff's the one to make you look like a fucking fool

Genghis, Genghis, what's with the fucking aggression?

Trolling you was fun, now it's time for ass confession

You can invade, kill and take over the land

But you can't handle a little fucking trolling, man, it's just a shitty strand

Bleff's got the last laugh, that's for sure

Genghis Khan, you're not so pure

So take a seat, and listen to this shitty track

Bleff's the one to give you a verbal smack

Bleff the Biller, always here to roast

Genghis Khan, you're just a ghost

You can't handle a little joke, that's just sad

Time to fuck off, Genghis, you've been had.

GAF 9: 1212: Da Children's Crusadcident

After a long while, Bleff felt like he was a fucking god since he was a fucking master at trolling. Honestly, it’s pretty fucking easy to think you’re a god when you’re good at shit. Here’s an example: get shitty publicity, say the worst fucking things, and everyone knows I’m a motherfucking bastard; people will take jokes too fucking far and I fucking got it, that dog shit was a joke, no fucking shit, voila!

So, Bleff trolled a child that he was a God. He first had the pain and suffering to fucking pick his teeth off. Soon, his breath from under the teeth came. There was fucking stinkholes and shit. Flies soon came flying to him, despite eating shit. “Hey, hey, hey, hey, I’m trying to fucking eat here while you flaunt your shitty breath, the fuck is your problem,” stated one of the flies as they all left.

Soon, a kid fucking told all the others that he saw Jesus Fucking Christ (Bleff the Biller) and that he told him to find him on an adventure while he disappeared. Shit was all fun and games, until Bleff fucking trolled by bringing them a fucksmit, the worlds most fearsome predator and the largest (smallest) animal. “FUCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!” Bitchlys screamed, bitching while getting beaten the fuck up by it.

“Oh my fucking god, he’s killing him,” stated Godlys while Bitchlys was groaning. Having shitty weather all over the rest of the world, our heroes have to go to the “Fucking Forest”. Godlys brilliantly had the idea to pick up a water bottle Bleff dropped to drink, but fucking bees came out, beating his tongue the fuck up while Godlys screamed in pain.

Filthy, starving, and fucking exhausted, our heroes wearily continued on search of Jesus. “FUCKING STOP! I tell you all we must fucking go back! I can't take shit any longer! We're all fucking out of food and water! I feel like I'n gonna fucking STARVE! If we fucking keep on going, we will shamefully fucking DIE!” Godlys screamed like a fucking maniac. “Stop man, you can’t say that shit, remember the epic anthem of the Children Crusaders,” Bitchlys stated as he played the flute.

“Our hellhole reeks of trees, our kids are really fucking hung and they smell like rotten shit carcasses, and we have to clean up their asses, our tampons are the best because we proudly wear fucking shitty skirts while sand blows into our boyginas, and the buzzards they sore overhead while poisonous snakes try to devour us whole and our bones will bleach in the sun, but we will proudly go to hell as that shit’s our great fucking reward for being the Unloyal BastarDick Children Crusaders,” everyone sang.

Years later, they were still fucking searching, as Bitchlys was singing tired as hell. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I can't fucking STAND shit anymore!!! All the fucking time, fucking singing! SINGING!! WHY WON'T HE fucking STOOOP?!? Listen... Ya hear it? AHAHAHAHAHHHAHA!!!!” Godlys exclaimed. “Get back to your fucking senses man, there’s no time for hysterics when there’s exploring,” Bitchlys said while slapping the shit out of Godlys 6 ways to Sunday.

“Thanks, I needed that, but how the fuck are we gonna get food, think,” Godlys stated. “That’s it, we will have a shit feast,” Kid #9 said as all the kids, Godlys, and Bitchlys screamed in joy. Kid #11 soon started licking the brownest shit from the ground. “Dumbass, you can’t just have any shit, that’s poison shit, I’ll get the right shit,” Kid #7 said. “Psst, searching for this fucking shit is a bunch of fucking bullshit, let’s stay forever and catch some Z’s,” The Kid Who Avoids It All whispered to Kid #8, who became his best friend and at the time was writing a note to someone.

The note stated: “You’re my devil, you’re my angel. You’re my heaven, you’re my hell. You’re my now, you’re my forever. You’re my freedom, you’re my jail. You’re my lies, you’re my truth. You’re my freedom, you’re my truce. You’re my questions, you’re my proof. You’re my stress, and you’re my masseuse.”

Suddenly, the ground rumbled and the most delicious shit somehow fucking came out. “We fucking did it, dinner is served, we struck shit,” Bitchlys stated. “Wait, we forgot to say grace: Lord, we all thank you for this bountiful heap of shit for dinner that you left so upon us; amen,” Godlys stated.

And so, with gratitude, they all feasted. But all the 30,001 kids, except for The Kid Who Avoids It All, turned out to have eaten a shit that makes eaters skeletons by the morning. This shit is because Bleff put the shit under there to purposely get out and end their journey with death!

Break Time

Ways I’m different: 1. I find the world very fucking confusing, as I find it very literal and logical, while I still make far too edgy ass jokes. 2. I have trouble understanding expressions on people’s faces; when I was younger, I made a book to help me when I was confused and still had trouble, like the time I drew big boobs in class and thought my teacher was happy. 3. I have horrendous handwriting, my senses are always hyper, I’m clumsy, and at times, even though it massively improved in therapy, I could get very fucking concerned while anxious and shit. 4. I’m intelligent and like solving problems; my doctor said this shit’s a good thing.

And finally 5., I have trouble expressing my emotions, my doctor says my brain is defective and that one day there will be a cure for my neurological disability. I fucking hate when he says this. I don’t feel disabled, defective, or the need to be cured. I like being an Aspie, it’s like changing the color of my eyes. There’s one thing I’d like to change, however, crying properly; I squeeze and squeeze, but nothing comes out. My pollen allergies make it look like I’m crying, but this doesn’t count.

GAF 10: March 1st, 2010: Da Damning Deathcident

So, after Kodryn couldn’t get Godlys to read her shit, she sent all her souls to bitch to Bleff. “Ah yes, if someone doesn’t reply to your letters you make a shitty cassette tape to threaten them, yourself, and even other random ass people,” Bleff said as he was trolling. So that’s what she did, shit’s fucking natural.

“Dear Mr. I’mTooRetardedToWriteOrCallBitches, this will be the last shit I ever send your ass! It’s been so fucking long, am I not worth shit? You could’ve saved me from drowning, I drank 5 bottles of vodka and am doing 190 on a highway by a lake. Dare me to drive? All I wanted was a letter or call, but I’m so drunk that shit’s too fucking late, you lost your only fan. And I hope you try to kill yourself again like when the hate got too fucking much for you since you were a pussy about fucking your dog! And I—- (AHHHHHHHHHHHH) shut the fuck up dick, I’m tryna talk! See, that’s my man and I only slit his throat and tied him up, I ain’t like you. He’ll suffer more and die at the same time. Well, gotta fucking go, I can see the lake. Oh shit, I forgot: how the fuck am I supposed to send this shit?” the cassette said.

Soon enough, Godlys put his fucking skinnyfat ass to write to her. “Dear Kodryn, I meant to reply sooner but I just been fucking busy. Shit’s been personal, I made a joke where I fucked a dog that spread like wildfire and everyone fucking hates me, all for a fucking joke. I think you should treat your man better, give him attention. You should relax a little, why the fuck are you so pissed. You should understand that I would’ve been ok if you actually had a crush and weren’t faking shit. As long as you didn’t do crazy, obsessive, and retarded shit. I seen this story on the news today and it made me shocked: some bitch went drunk and drove a fucking car to a lake, killing her, while pregnant, and her man. Come to think about it, your tape was similar to seeming like that shit? Damn.”

Break Time

Yeah, I wrote darkly about the day I was born. Shit’s been a ride, but I think I should go on my phone less and start working out. I used to be a fit as fuck kid pre-Covid. Now, I’m skinny and fat. No muscle, but an extra layer of fat, which makes a dick obviously fake having a crush on me. Not only do I fucking hate the way I look, but it’s fucking unhealthy. I can’t keep living this way, so starting today I’m going to get myself healthier than my fucking shit.

I guess I had to go from that place, get cancelled for a joke despite me always making edgy jokes, and write a novel for a Trollpasta to go to this shit. I’ve been avoiding any heavily controversial jokes outside of this since. Shit’s time for me to start living my life, and I suggest you to do the same fucking thing.

Written by Godlys
Content is available under CC BY-SA

Comments • 1

Loading comments...