Grand Theft Auto: Satandreas
A video used to be embedded in this page, however, it has since been deleted.
Prolouge:
I just want to let anybody who reads this know that this is 100% true, it happened the day i created this page. So don't go saying things like "That is sooooooo copying Ben Drowned" or "This is soooooo unoriginal"; this is real, I either saw these events happen on the screen right in front of my fucking face, or I was just hallucinating because of my dangerous addiction to LSD, WRONG! This is what I saw, if you think I made this up, then you and everything you have ever known doesn't really exist, so shut the fuck up and read what i had experienced! Raidenist 23:50, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
Update: My game is too fucking freaky now for me to take it as a joke, it is so fucking scary. So scary, I probably won't detail it on this page anytime soon. Raidenist 01:35, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
I am gonna stop editing this page now, I am way too fucking freaked out by the game, so I have stopped playing it! Raidenist 20:18, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
Update: I am still full of stuff to put down, so nothing is over just yet. Raidenist: Hail The God of Thunder! 21:51, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
Also, i could have sworn i saw "It" the corner of my eye just a few seconds ago....don't worry, I won't type stuff like this all the time, just when it is really freaky... Raidenist: Hail The God of Thunder! 22:22, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
Another thing i would like to say is something quite strange. My GTA:SA disc has the word BETA on it, has just a string of 0's on it's underside instead of one of those number code thingies. I am now very confused as to whether it is my memory card that is playing tricks on me, or the disc. I really don't know. The last difference is the significant difference in size of my new GTA disc than on my old one. I am getting suspicous. Raidenist: Hail The God of Thunder! 22:53, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
Update: I went on GTA again today, it is getting really strange. Stranger than before. In fact, i think this game might have actually been hacked, hacked by someone with mass knowledge of video game programming. Raidenist: Hail The God of Thunder! 14:23, July 25, 2011 (UTC)
Update: Raidenist has been blocked, so he gave me permission to update this page on anything new...Giygagygeon 16:03, October 2, 2011 (UTC)
Update: The Videos have from this page have been set to private due to annoying circumstances and sceptics. Giygagygeon 17:37, November 11, 2011 (UTC)
Update: I couldn't actually play the game in HD on my PS3, not even 480p. The game still ran in crappy interlace form, the only difference being that the game ran alot faster. No lag, even when doing that flying nitros car thing...Raidenist: Hail The God of Thunder! 13:31, February 16, 2012 (UTC)
Why It Happened:
I was playing my PS2, like i was yesterday because i had that fucking electricity transformer or whatever it's called missing after like one and a half years, so i finally got it back. Today i was playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas; one of my favourite PS2 games and i had accidentally put my memory card with the best save in slot b. It was only until i loaded the save file from the memory card that i realised that it was the wrong one, i quickly took out each memory card and switched them, while it was still loading the game. I suddenly thought "Fuck! it's still fucking loading, it's probably gonna freeze or glitch up or something!" but to my surprise, it still loaded the game. I was in the Johnson House, everything was normal; that was when i left the house.
The Beginning:
Like normal, the black screen came up with the name of CJ's hometown in the lower right corner. Strangely, it took longer to load than usual, but it was a second-hand game, i brought it because my other one was like four years old and scratched to fuck. I then lost my annoyance as the game faded out in front of me. I looked to see what had become; everything i saw was glitched up, kinda like it did a few times before when the game hadn't loaded the ground textures fast enough. All i could see was the outside of CJ's house and a transparent cul-de-sac. I walked out into the nothingness to notice that a message popped up saying that i have to go to Sweet's house, i didn't find this at all weird because it was very early in the game and my next mission was Sweet's Girl, which required me to do the same. Although i normally just activate the health, weapons cheat and jat pack cheat a few times, i oddly decided that i would try and do a mission for once instead of fucking about. I walked around to his house rather normally, the sky at this point was rather normal until i had walked onto my homeboys grass that the sky had suddenly turned from daylight, to midnight. The clock had also been screwy, continously switching inbetween 15:00 to 89:00? WTF! 89:00! What is that supposed to mean? During the time, i hadn't been that alert by the goings on until this happened. I was starting to get rather confused, i continued my path into my bro's home when CJ randomly started twitching for no goddamn reason, i began to shout swears and (jokingly) racial slurs at the screen hoping that he would somehow hear me and get on with the game. But to my dissapointment-he kept on twitching about. I sat for a minute thinking whether i should turn the console off or not, but seeing as i am a fan of video game creepy pastas, i got to thinking that maybe something freaky was going to happen! I was now more interested in the glitches than anything else. Eventually after about 2 minutes, CJ had decided to stop acting like a fuckwad and go inside Sweet's house.
The Scary Shit Part 1
The game once again took for fucking ever to load on the black screen. What really astonished me was that the title in the corner now said Yo Home Boy Is Fucked!! funny yes! but at the time, i was quite unnerved by this. The game loaded with Sweet's house, i then remembered that you WERN'T supposed to be able to go inside his house until later, so this is when things got fucking strange. I saw a black room, so dark that at first i didn't realise that the screen had loaded. So fucking black that i couldn't even make out CJ (not being racist, i am telling the truth). Not only was this irratating enough, because i couldn't see CarlyWarlyJohnson, i found it hard to move about. I then heard CJ scream really loud like when he is on fire. This made me jump, as i saw a white doorway, i could see CJ now and i forced his black sillouhette arse towards it. The screen then went white as i saw a black dot in the distance, coming closer and twitching like CJ was earlier. I soon noticed that it was his bro Sweet, only he was lying like people do when they die, he was twitching like when you attack someone with a chainsaw when they are dead. He was also spinning around in a planetary sort of way. he came closer and closer until the camera moved to show CJ's ugly pixelized face covering the entire screen, this also scared the fuck out of me. The game almost instantly switched back to CJ's normal perspective only it was showing more dead bodies floating around. When i tried to move, CJ randomly decided to defy physics and swim around. The Bodies then started spinning like shurikens, they began to fly towards CJ. I was really scared by this shit and attempted to make CJ swim away in the direction towards the camera. Cj stopped as if he swam into a wall. i tried and i tried, but eventually the bodies just flew at the camera and started twitching erratically "FUCK!" i thought to myself as i was bombarded by weirdness. The corpses then floated away, carrying CJ with them. I watched as he was pulled out into the white blankness until he vanished. I pressed the start button to take a break from the crazy shit that was happening before me. The map was also fucked, it looked like it did at first only it was smaller and completely black. I shouted "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!".
The Scary Shit Part 2
After ten minutes of sitting there confused out of my confusion (confusing?) i decided to carry on with my game and see what else Cwarl Dwonson would get up to, what i didn't expect was too see him outside of his homo's house. Everything seemed normal; although i swear that last time i checked reality CARS COULDN'T FLY! yes, that's right! fly. I wasn't too weirded out by this because there is a cheat i know of that lets you fly your car like a plane (although, the disc is too old and scratched for it too load quick enough, so it normally ended with the game freezing. Most likely because i flew so goddamn fast, that it didn't have time to do so) But since the cheat only ever works with the PC, i assumed that my game was now fucking around with the games cheat codes. Another thing i soon realised was that every person i saw would walk normally, until CJ went near them. They would then just stop and stare at me as if he is the last black guy in the universe. This obviously didn't pass me as a joyful scene as said pedestrians would begin to chase CJ everywhere, and try to kill him. I was fucking freaked out by this time, so i decided the only way he could escape the stabbing was to take to the skies with a jetpack; so after rushingly typing in the cheat code as fast as my fingers could mash them, it appeared and Carly began to fly upwards. Very soon, all the pedestrians were out of draw distance, i could no longer see them. Like most people would probably do at this time with a jetpack, i instantly flew CJ across the city and over the ocean, on his way to another island. What i really should have thought out at this point was how certain places where unallowing of CJ to enter them, so when he did exactly that; giss woot hippond? i lokked at the corner of the screen to see that my wanted rating was now at four fucking stars. !WTF! i screamed as i flew CJ lower and lower onto a building hoping to find a safe haven. Instead i found the exact opposite, CJ was now being chased by planes ON FOOT! (in case you didn't know, the air force only attack when your in a plane yourself, which is good) Maybe he should change his initials to JC, not only could he run across the ocean, he could return from the dead after the mother fuckers already shot him millions of times! The next part confused me more, all CJ did now was jump off the fucking rooftop and onto the ground. I saw that the game assumed CJ's real initials are SH, so it had a reason to send worse authorative shit at him! What would happen next though, is something i couldn't believe at first....or rather.....was too scared too believe.....
The Horror
CJ was now on a dark mountain like structure, it seems to be glitching a bit too much and it........ played a wierd song in the background, i shall upload a file of it soon (it played long enough for me to get it). Today i will be putting down a few minor things and one major thing that happened to me during this time. First of all, i got massive headaches everytime CJ went into a building. Second, Everytime CJ went past a civilian, i got a very uneasy feeling as if someone was watching me. Third, i keep swearing at CJ for no goddamn reason.
The fourth and final thing is a rather unexplainable phenomenon, i'll expain it as a story of what CJ was doing in game. He layed there for about five seconds before getting up. He stood there for a few more seconds, i tried pressing every button on my controller to see it didn't work. CJ suddenly spawned a jetpack from nowhere without me doing anything, as if the game input cheats itself. I instantly regained control of him, i had to make haste so CJ made a quick getaway, flying over the city. Like normal, the city wasn't loading enough detail from higher up so i found it hard to see where he was heading, but i soon saw that he was floating over the ocean. I decided to get him away from the bill by flying over the ocean, the blip-map was working so i knew where he went; i knew at this point that he would only go on an infinite journey, he wouldn't get any further away because you aren't allowed to leave San Andreas. After thinking about turning back and fending off the fuzz, i changed the camera angle to see in-front of CJ, a pyramid? Shocked and confused, my curiosity got the better of me and i chose to continue CJ's Flight to the strange building. One really odd thing about this pyramid was it's ability to have a much longer draw distance than other models. It was like a small dot in the distance at first, i thought it was nothing until i noticed it getting bigger.
As CJ got even closer to the pyramid, that music started playing again and i saw what looked like an entrance. This entrance would actually lead to a massive maze-like structure, which i knew of straight away because of my useful little blip-map (piece of shit most of the time). I decided CJ would explore this whole pyramid, room by room. The first thing to see in the pyramid was a save icon, floating on a ledge next to a low down stream of water. I was really confused, did the game want me to save and come back later?
Who knows?.....
The First Room]
As i bravely decided to carry on with the game, i loaded the last game save fiel to see to my suprise that CJ was exactly where he was when i saved the game. I though that if any normal glitch were to happen, it would have stopped by now. I suddenly got the thought into my mind: Most game glitches are normally told with the warning; don't save! it will corrupt data! and boy how fucking right that is! I got CJ into the next room, through a stone doorway, which i didn't get because where the hell did the textures come from? anyways, he slowly walked into the room to see nothing; that's right, absolutely nothing! i decided CJ should examine the room anyways just to be sure that there really wasn't anything to it. But i was wrong, as CJ walked towards the wall, it began to slide away whilst making not one sound. Obviously curious, I got CJ to walk straight towards the wall, i even tried making him run. Even so, the wall kept moving away. This got annoyingly boring after a while, until i heard this creepy song. I was so fucking scared by this! the worst part was that for some unknown reason i started shedding tears, not because i was scared. I just don't know. Then CJ randomly fell through the wall after it finally stopped. He began to fall, god was i scared. because he did this for about a minute while looping a short screaming sound. I felt as if me and CJ were connecting feelings in someway. I got this notion when CJ landed in the middle of a corridor, a corridor with dead pedestrians lined across the walls. I got CJ to runn up it as i heard this sound coming louder. This sound was so damn freaky, it was as if CJ was crying. I wondered why he was doing this only for a short while. As i would soon get to the end to have the Camera angle control itself again. This time facing towards CJ so that the thing he was staring at was obscured. I sat there to see CJ slowly neel down and cry louder. His crys started getting louder and louder until the camera zoomed from the back of him out through the corridor to have a dark figure walk into the room, who this was I will not know for now; my game had froze on that scene, along with a high pitched buzzing you would normally get from a freezed game. I went to turn the console off as I tried to get a firm grip on what the hell just happened! I will tell more of this later when i decided to go back on it.
The Second Room]
Now i am really confused! When i switched my game off after going into the first room, i tried going back on it to find that the file was corrupted. How was it corrupted? i have no clue. This was yet to weirden me as i reset the console to see it was working again, i thought the game might just be fucking with me! As when i went back on the save, it was a very frightful experience. Once the game finally loaded up, it was all normal until i saw that a door to another room appeared out of nowhere, it had connected to one of the rooms already visible on the blip-map, you just couldn't enter it yet. This got me to thinking that the game was planning all of this. I mean, since when does a gltich accidentally give you a giant pyramid, new textures, a unique map and doors that appear one after the other connecting to rooms already in the building. So that is when he entered the second room.
It wasn't like the other room, this time it had the end cut off to two seperate passageway opposite each other. I began to walk CJ through it, as something suddenly dropped from the ceiling. It looked rather normal as i observed it from all angles. I then remembered that CJ hadn't used any weapons since his fight with the police. Suprising for me to do, as i would normally get CJ's most deadly weapon out and begin to shoot everything i see when i am rushing. So Cj pulled out his uzi as he continued to walk up the room. I was stuck at choosing where to go, left or right. I eventually decided to go left for some reason to see another corner at the end going to the right. I still had wondered what exactly these stony textures represented all the time Cj was walking between them. When CJ turned the corner, the camera faced him as i heard a really strange sound, like the scratching sound you would get from rubbing sandpaper together. When i turned the camera angle, i almost pissed myself. There at the very dead end of the corridor was a dark black hole and sticking out from it was what i could only describe as a resemblance of CJ himself, only it had yellow coloured skin. I thought at first that it was just for decoration, that was until CJ walked up to it....
The Serpent
The head began to emerge from it's home, revealing it to be a terrifying snake like beast, with a glitchy skin for a body. It chased CJ, i was so fucking scared. Cj ran around the corner so damn fast, when he got back the end of the main corridor the camera showed a small block sized gap in the wall instead with a lever attached to it. I changed the angle of view to see the snake take a 90 degree turn around the corner. I quickly got CJ to run up to the lever to see what it would do. A message popped up on the screen telling me to rapidly tap X over and over again. I did exactly what it told me to do without hesitation. CJ grabbed the lever and slowly pulled it down as i continuosly pressed that button. I only just managed to do it. The view turned to show the block from earlier fly on top of the beasts head, drop down and crush it. Blood flowed across the floor as the room shaked, a part of the wall rose to reveal a dark, dark entrance. Relieved, CJ got out his best gun, walking into the next room.
A Gift From Whom?
After a brief loading screen, i watched CJ stumble upon a small room with a box at the end. CJ walked up to it to pick up something. A glitchy mine. What this mine was for i wouldn't know until Cj went back to the main room. When he did get back to the main room, i realised that there was no other way to explore the pyramid. I had a hunch that the mine was useful for this situation. CJ grabbed the comically oversized mine out of thin air and held it. Because i was too distracted by what the hell was going on before, i forgot all about the stream lying low down next to the ledge. I made CJ run and jump onto it to learn it was shallow. I saw a wall at the end with the water pouring through it. I pressed Circle. CJ carefully placed the mine on the wall and quickly ran back the other way. After a moment the wall exploded into a pile of debris. Revealing alot more of the building. Needing a break, i used the jetpack cheat and flew back onto the edge to save. Wondering what will happen the next time i play. This time when i turned off the game, an eerily odd message appeared in front of me. "Until next time". (note that the creepy music from earlier was looping all the way through)
The Audio
Here it is, the wierd sound. I'm still not sure what it means but i'm pretty sure it isn't supposed to be in game.
There are more audio files i have recorded. I have added a new video giving a (really good) recording of a scary audio. For a better explanation, check out the videos description. No just kidding your not allowed to see them.
The End
I have officially decided to stop playing my game, as i have recently explained that my game only ever lets CJ enter his house and then it goes all glitchy. So i will probably NOT be playing for a while!
As for the other save files in my memory card, they are fine. I'll still play the game, just not on the weird file.
One Last Try
it's been a while, and i had finally decided to go on Grand Theft Auto after about a month. I wasn't too scared, but i had my small fears. But it was somewhat sad, as when i tried to use the weird file, it was fine. The glitches are no more. Raidenist 17:36, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
The Haveth Returned
Yes, that's right! The glitches are back and scarier than ever before! This is may be starting to sound like i'm trying to advertise something but it's true. I have experienced some creepy shit today on, well, you know! And i am going to type up on my latest experience. So, enjoy and try not to laugh at what i share with you, even if it is somewhat silly (or braindead as some might put it). So, here we go. Raidenist: Hail The God of Thunder! 18:57, July 16, 2011 (UTC)
The Misty Mile
Today on Grand Theft Auto: Satandreas i experienced my most terrifying.....experience yet. Today i thought it would be really funny if i played the game again. I thought to myself "This game is good now, no more of that shit" but hell was i wrong. After having an nice old game of 'Car vs Train' i ended up going down Red Country. What a nice time i had trying to get some fucker off of his bike. You don't see. i have been playing alot of Grand Theft Auto IV recently, so the graphics and game realism seem to be lacking. Of course, as i am not a complete bitch, i eventually got used to that fact.
So here goes. I was driving down a road when ICarly Johnson was suddenly attacked by his enemy crew. Because of how unadjusted i was to the aiming of weaponry at the time, his car blew up. Because he no longer has a 'Car' i went with a jokingly calling him 'L Johnson' from that point on. Get it? GET IT? Just be thankful that his name wasn't Carbitch.
Well, L was obviously no longer very mobile so i got him to walk up the road to the city. Although i thought this would work (remember, no glitches) i was really fucking shocked with what happened next. It was bright before taking his paces up the soon-to-be violent road but as soon as he took his first step onto it, the world around him grew instantaneously black (not a racial joke). This what started the freakiness. As L took even more steps into it, the world became very misty and dank. Next, the ground grew ashy and dull. You may not realise this but this was a bit too reminiscent of one of the most creepiest and equally disturbing game franchises in the world. Silent Hill. Duh!
Not only did this part remind me of that very game. Silent Hill 3 also happened to be the last game i saved on the Cursed Memory Card. Oh fuck...oh fuck indeed.
I was starting to hear a something strange, something very strange. It sounded as if someone was saying my name so quietly, it was as if it was mind processing memories. No, i am not telling you my name. The screen suddenly flashed white for a few seconds as i heard Carlington suddenly scream out his fucking name. This frightened me quite a bit. I hadn't experienced anything like that before and as such it made me think something unexpected was going to happen.
When the sight came back, i found CJ in a dark, long path. Don't assume i am stupid, i tried to walk out of the area, but i soon saw textures of mountains appear right on the side of the road, blocking CJ from moving. You know what, this is fucking epic. Even though i know it isn't normal for games to do this, i really am getting excited. I was scared at first but now that i think about, games have had worse and considering the rating of 18, it shouldn't really surprise me as much as a bloody Pokemon game would.
Now about the road, after moving CJ's fat ass up there, i see that it is possibly infinite. Is this where it ends? i hope fucking not! I came too far to suddenly get trolled by a game, i'm going to get through this even if it.....gives me a headache for a few hours. So here i go, i now am about to start my quest to get to whatever is behind this all. This is probably just a small step. Maybe the larger disc size i have already mentioned has an effect on memory capacity. Fuck knows. lets do this shit!
The Tests
Test 1
I first decided test something that would help get me out of this situation. Before i decided to stop bitching, i was shooting rockets at the ground in an attempt to kill BJ. To my God forsaken horror, everytime he fell over dead, he would just repeat his falling over animation in reverse. I'm guessing that "It" has greater control over this seeing as how it hasn't got ragdoll physics that all realistic games do nowadays. My guess is that controlling the movement of simple animations is easier than that of some guy having an epileptic fit. On side note, CJ health would fully restore as if the "It" wanted be to stay where i was. Maybe the game isn't trolling me, maybe it's testing me. If that's how it's gonna be. Then It's time to kick ass and kick ass, but i'm all out of ass. Well then, if that is the case, i am fucked.
Test 2
Now that i have stopped the aforementioned bitch of ing, i have taken a more thought out idea. I thought of trying to get an explosion to launch CJ throught the model of the mountains. Once again, to my surprise, the game stoped him before he could touch the edges. At that moment, i began to notice the differences from the rest of the game. It may have just been me, but it looked as if the game resolution was remarkably greater. I could actually see the details of all the textures on the mountains, on the ground and even on CJ. The background on the other glove-wrapped hand was not visable. The mountains were so freaking high, i couldn't see anything, all i could see on the horizon was a faint image. The image wasn't very clear. One thing i wasn't clear of was CJ having constant spasm. Not just random ones, they seem to be timed inbetween. They were also more specific as to where on his body he would move. At one point his head slowly started turing around until it faced behind him, at the camera, or, if i am that paranoid, at me. Even if i shuffled him around, he would continue this nonsense, he would just stare at the camera. He would do it no matter what angle the camera went. When he finally did stop, i decided to execute my third test.
Test 3
This time, i had learned a lot more about the enviroment so i could much more easily expect something. What i didn't think of at first is something i smacked myself in the face for for not thinking of it at first. I tapped in a car cheat, i'm pretty sure it was a bloodring whatever (it was my only cheat at that moment in time). I reversed the car backwards for approximately ten seconds as if i could reassure myself that something would happen. As soon as i stopped counting, the car accelerated up the road. This time i would get the idea that it wasn't just some stupid "Infinite Sea" thingy. I changed the angle of the camera to view the side of the car. It appeared as if something was blocking the way and actually pushing the vehicle away. The factors where making this rather obvious. Since when does an invicible wall push you back? Never from what i know. Getting really pissed off, i suddenly got another "Wait a minute, that's so blatantly obvious, why didn't i do it before" thought. I pressed the other button to change the camera view to behind the car. What i could see then was something that would only be compared to something of Portal's level of inception mind fuckage. I could see the back of a car facing in the exact opposite direction as CJ's. I decided to reverse back to see what sanity fruit it would take from my mental basket. It complete shock, i found that the car would follow the exact same actions the car would take. I got CJ out of the car and decided to walk up to this "Mirror". It appeared as if CJ didn't have a reflection. I noted that there was a difference in how the Mirror acted to CJ than a vehicle. While a car would be smacked back by what i now know is itself, Bill Cosb- i mean CJ would just walk against it as if it was a wall. Because of the total fuckage of my mind that had been dealt during this ordeal, i decided to use my brain and think of a Physic defying maneuver which would deem me not a stupid but somewhat a nutcase.
Test 4
What i did now is something i never thought i would do. You don't see, it was like this and sort of wasn't like this. I threw an explosive on the ground and drove the car over it. The car blew up with the bomb and flew everywhere in about 4-5 pieces. Yes, pieces. That isn't supposed to happen, but it did. Now as i was saying before your smartarsieness got in the way, if you could rememeber from the last few moments, i had mentioned that CJ was virtually indestructible. Right. It had to keep it this way if it wanted me to stay in the area. If it made me vulnerable again, i would have died and warped back to a hospital. And so, it had no choice but to give me some way of getting out of the area. Lazy bastards. Now that the car exploded into pieces, because CJ didn't die and was still inside it, the game or "it" as i keep mentioning, let CJ go threw the mirror most likely because the game didn't have data for CJ being effected by the self-reflective abilities of the car and because the parts of the car have bad collision detection. So weirdly enough, the car didn't pull CJ back with it, instead he got stuck in the mirror. It was rather hilarious actually. Seeing CJ with half his body stuck in a wall. And due to his constant body spasms, it was almost as if i was now watching a Gmod video. Speaking of Gmod, if i find out whoever it was who made this game, i have to give them a personal face-to-face meeting with Dr.Hax.
The Wall
Now that CJ divided by zero, he had ascended further up the path. If it was a path. Turns out that he just gets warped into the middle of a dark green field. It isn't the night that is making it dark, it appears to be the shade of green. This long field kind of reminds me of the inside of the moon on Majora's Mask without a tree. In place of the tree was what i assume was a stupid joke. A giant picture was spread across the surface of a cubic wall. It looked very clear. This very image may be the one i saw over the horizon earlier. I thinking that none of this shit is a glitch, it is intended. A glitch wouldn't add an image of a....whatever it is. The wall was pretty big, i couldn't see it clear enough until CJ moved back a few metres. When it did clear out, the image seemed to resemble an image of a person (Not me, that's cliche) He was rather happy. Oh shit, i forgot to mention. This person was the most creepiest person i have ever seen in my entire life. It was like a mix between Michael Jackson, Brian Peppers, BEN and a sadistic painting. Jesus did it scare the crap out of me. It got worse when CJ ran up and touched it. The wall started to emit horrific screamign sounds. It resembled a woman screaming backwards. Scary as it was, it is just a game, it can't harm me! Especially if it's only hacked.
I wanted to get out of there so CJ ran away from the picture. It started to chase him. Not only this, but i swear i could hear music rising in the background. I got him to stop. The wall stopped. I took one big breath and..."Woooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaar!". CJ sprinted like fuck towards the camera. The music rose again and again. The music was getting louder. It sounded rather familiar. Once the music was so loud it almost deafened me, CJ suddenly fell down a hole. Screaming. What was weirder is that the wall decided to follow him, down the hole. That doesn't sound good.
The Cellar
When the screen came to, i found CJ inside a rather big, square-shaped room. Although, to me it seemed things were getting a bit pear-shaped. It's okay of you don't get that joke. If you do. Ha. The walls looked grey and bricky and shit. Now then, this part of the game is where i realise that i am not just testing some shitty BETA out, i am actually running some sort of plotline. After a few seconds, i moved CJ forward. It triggered a cutscene:
The camera is slightly above the ground infront of CJ facing up at him. He walks calmly over to the camera and looks down in a way that makes it appear he is mourning. The camera suddenly takes a swift turn to reveal that CJ is looking down on Sweet, his brother. The screen started to rumble and shake. CJ turned around, the camera behind him still. He was looking up at the hole. "Oh shit!" I said. I knew what was going to happen now.
Boss: The Wall
The stone structure we previously encountered has finally hit the ground of the cellar. This game would now become really exciting. It was like a whole new game has been set before me. Enough of that shit, the cutscene is over and judging by how it introduced itself to CJ, it only means one thing: Boss Fight. Note: This may or may not be the first boss, as if you weren't to much of a slobby dick, you would have read the part about the Serpent in the pyramid. The way it was defeated made it seem more like a sub-boss.
Fight!
Now then, if the game wanted to try and best me at shit like this, it's got another thing coming. As a massive Zelda fan, i am used to fighting strategic boss battles. Because this was so much like Zelda now, i decided to use the weapon i used the most of last. I think it was the Grenade. As this reminded me of the Bombs of Zelda fame, maybe i should use them. I mean, what else would be good at destroying walls? Angry children? Maybe, but i am pretty low on them right now, and i doubt CJ is even responsible enough to hold a gun for few seconds, let alone a child.
Before i went and wasted a grenade, i thought about the strategem. What part of it is vulnerable? To get things over and done with, i threw the grenade at face on the wall. It exploded but didn't do shit. To my disapointment, i noticed another one of those mirrors behind CJ. Goddamnit! I was really hoping to have a violent, bullet dented, explosion filled fight. I guess i will have to save that for Ganondorf. I instantly remembered how CJ would go right through the wall if the right conditions were met. I never tried something that time around. I never once had the idea that a weapon could go through the wall. CJ threw the stick-a-shit into the wall and it flew through the mirror, out the other one and hit the back of the wall, damaging it. I got the hint when i saw chunks of plaster fly off of it. Pissed off, the wall turned around to protect itself and another face appeared on the side facing CJ. A new strategic method had to be used. I threw a remote explosive on the ground, stood CJ on top of it and set it off. It didn't harm CJ, so my guess is that i am doing the right thing. He soared through the sky like a roflcopter and soied his way onto the top of the wall. He got up, thinking about what i could do, i threw another grenade through another mirror on another side of the wall. It once again flew back out of the opposite mirror and blew up against the faceless face (Say what?). Another face appeared on it. I repeated this one more time before placing an explosive on top of the wall. Now it had faces all over it. It still wasn't defeated though. This next part was fucking awesome. I jumped back on top of it's hideous face. Assuming it has an underside. I looked up to see that there was a mirror in the ceiling. I got out of my Rocket Launcher, CJ faced that mother fucker up into the air. The rocket flew up into the mirror and up from below the wall and smashed it upwards. Again, the block was destroyed like the car, so it seemed to do the same kind of "glitch". I yelled in glory "To infinity and beyond!" as the block soared upwards and out of the cellar.
Afterwards, a laughable cutscene played where the block flew out the top of a house, destroying it. This is Grand Theft Auto, shit like this doesn't normally happened. Unless Gay Tony is a drug addict. As i looked down, i saw it was the cul-de-sac, and the house i destroyed was Sweet's. I thought back months earlier, i remembered what the text said when i walked into Sweet's house: "Yo Home Boy Is Fucked!". Yep, i really think this game has a story. Determined to get to the bottom of it, i waited until CJ gracefully landed like a fairy, into a street and kill about twenty people. Oh well, they should've expected to see a giant stone smash into their city. Haven't they played Majora's Mask?
Playstation 3
You'll never guess what happened next. Go ahead, GUESS!!!! Just kidding. There is something really important i had discovered about this game recently. Well, i have already explained that the my GTA disc is denser than normal. Well, it turns out that when i put it on the PS3, the game worked. I know that is normal for most PS3 models, that's what i thought. But, what i later learned was that the slim model i have DOES NOT READ PS2 DISCS. So that was it. I had finally figured what has been going on. This is so amazing.
Why The Shit Is The Shit It Is
Here's the explaination: It isn't a PS2 disc, it's a PS3 disc! That's why the game was extra layered. While you are reading this, you would most likely be thinking that it's bullshit because the laser on the PS2 isn't strong enough to read the disc. Well, you're wrong. By some weird shitech i have no clear clue about, the GTA disc actually had a stored update on it. Yes, an update. OMFG WTF BBQ!?!?!? It was dated 12th October 2008. What's weird is that it only first asked about the update after i used it on the PS3. That made me theorise something very, very disturbing. Before using it on my PS2 again, a peculiar message popped up on screen after attempting to play the game reading "A new update has been found for this software".......What. The. Fuck?! How is this possible, the game is over six years old for fucks sake. how in the name of Carl "Worth a measly 50 Cent" Johnson is that fucking possible?! I Actually froze for a minute. As i realized that the update i was downloading, or rather ressurecting onto the game. It had a web address. I regrettably tried going on. What was weird is that it came up with.....This bit was seriously too fucking creepy.....it actually came up with the URL for this website, what made it more disturbing was that the page was THIS VERY PAGE!!!!!!! I think i now know that the person, perthing or pervert that created this shit knows what i am doing. Not trying to stop me. It would rather sit back and watch it's own little story unfold. This may seem the ever so pasta genre that is creepy but soon something very creepy was about to happen, something i will NEVER forget...
The Emails
A few days after the last incident, i decided to check my emails for once and see if i have literally over 9000 messages. Not to my suprise, i did. I quickly got my attention on something else though. It was an email for someone called "Follower 1" Followed by a long string of binary digits. His message explained some legal crap on his part, as if i would be getting the idea of suing him. But one part of it i noticed said a horrifying response. The email appeared as if i had sent a legal document to the sender detailing a lawsuit. Of course, i have no idea who, or what is doing this so it's very unlikely. The response explained that the sender has regards for any loss of possessions and for accounts of murder. Murder?....MURDER?! What the fuck is this shit?!?!?!?!? I mean, I'm obviously not dead. So this was very fucking suspicious. There was a file attached the email. I downloaded out of morbid curiosity knowing that what i would see would not be very nice considering the latter implications. The images, oh my god....sounds cliche but it is typical for someone who really doesn't give half a shit. Images of dead people. This time it was different though. The others are too disturbing, but one i will explain. One picture was of Gaddafi. The prick from Libya. it showed him lying in a hole, dead. I was actually cheered up slightly by this knowing he was a complete cunt. Aside from that, one was of famous singer Amy Winehouse. I thought that this was sadly likely soon but it was still fucking scary. The image depicted her lying on her bed, pale and void of life. I was actually kept up all night by this. Seriously...i had fucking nightmares when i could sleep. Oh god. It was fucking horrifying. What is truly terrifying was that the images where sent to me just months before their deaths. I heard on the radio that Gaddafi was found by a rebel or something. Gaddafi had told the man "Please don't kill me" but because of my aforementioned labeling of his cuntishness, the man ahot him. i guy in a cap i so usefully remember. He was found, in a hole. Fuck. Now Amy Winehouse was more creepy, this happened a while before Gaddafi. Yeah, all that crap. She was found dead in her bed. Super Fuck. Now this next one was more recent. Oh my god it fucking pissed me off.
The Game
I finally recovered from that traumatizing shit. I finally decided to play the game again. It loaded up the rockstar logo and shit. What was weird was that it did not come up with the usual game fucking graphics. Oh my god no. My god, if this thing that created this game wasn't a diabolical piece of shit i would actually like, no, love him. The graphics where just like GTA IV. Except the obvious, it was San An-fucking-dreas. Fuck yeah! I started the game up to see my last few years come back to me. I saw CJ appear in a full HD house, he himself fully hd. i laughed somewhat sadistically at how fucking epic it looked. It was like the real fucking deal. Without David Dickinson.
OBJECTION!
As soon as BJ left the house, i was prompted to go and find sweet somewhere. Strange, this wasn't in the original game. My fears started to creepy back into my mind. "Fuck it!" I thought to myself. After enjoying the ride (or rather, some random white guy's ride) to the marker, a cutscene loaded. I stopped to gaze at the awesomeness that was happening in front of me. I heard the characters voices. It was very fucking creepy. They were the original voice actors. Did they have a part in this then? Fuck knows. Anyways, A.B.C.J. started talking to Sweet about raiding a warehouse. After a long talk, Sweet explained that they would need to be stealthy to succeed. CJ responded with the awesome exclamation of "Fuck Protocol!". Aw, isn't that sweet, he thwinks he a pwice offwicer. Get it? SWEET? Forget it. CJ then proceeded to run in the building. What was really hilarious is that he actually quoted the fucking internet "Leeeeeerooooooooy Jeeeeeeenkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!!!". Holy Fucking Shit. This game is better than i thought. He ran in the building as the screen faded to black ready for me to kick arse. But when the screen returned, i found myself in a silent and massive chamber of grey walls and hobo sounds. I found myself facing a stiff model of Niko, the star of GTA IV. This game is getting better and better i thought. I got CJ to talk to him. An unusual text box came up asking what my name is. Still remembering the fuck who made this game and not wanting to give my name to him, i decided to truly fuck with him. I smuggishly typed in BEN. Lawl! After that, i was the one who would be fucked. You'll never guess what Niko said to CJ after that. It is not a joke, no punchline needed. He uttered the phrase that would send me the message that this guy was ready for a war....I said back to him...."No, you shouldn't have done that!". I am so fucking stupid. Oh well, let the war begin!
Oh God....
Although, the game was nicer looking and seemed to be hinting at a remake of Los Santos. Creepy...
Credited to Raidenist
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