Hallmark Channel.exe
It was l8 1 night i was wachin TV and i need a new movie cause I is sadly want movie that was good I found Halmark Channel and there was a popup ad about Word Up but then it said "You can update 2 Hallmark Channel.exe 4 just $19.53 more per month (+ shippin and handling)!" I was confused of the shipping and handling but I chose yes and 2 sconds later I got a doorbell ring like "do do" and stuff and i seen th mail man with a box of VHS tapes and on the lable it said HALLMARK CHANNEL.EXE INSTALLER writen in sharpee and I was all "WOW DAZ FAST!!!" and th guy said "SHUT UP! shipping is 1 billion dollars" and i gave him my grama's social security number and he said "OK THEN" he leaved.
SO i get my TV VCR and pluged it in 2 myh old computer that accepts VHS but it said "DUMB MAN!! PLUG 2 TV!!!" so i insterted it in the direct TV reciever and it said "CLOSE ENOUGH" and then it played th move it was called: "MOVIE 1 BLOOD AND LOVE.EXE" the intro was like a sitcom and i showed the actors decaying bodies with their names and they where, "Dead Man", "Suzzie Kafrrizlfritz", "Fan Blayed", and other names that i could not recongincize and so it was a woma who was Suzzie Kafrrizlfriz and she had respawned and she worked a boring job in a boring town called "Boring Place" and her job was 2 be a boring person that licked dust off the floor but her boss was a greedy man named "Ronald McNugget Dump" and he said "I IS GREEDY! I LICK DUST OFF OF FLOOR NOW UR FIRED!!!" and it then cut 2 christmas day and lady was make otu with a guy. PATRIXX and then the move was over ok?
Next I played movie 2 and gues what? They had the same actors except this time it was caled "I have fallen in love and i can't get back up" the actor were seneior citizens there was thsi extreamely fat woman and her name was "Yo Mama" and she fell in love and broke it cause she's so fat get it? Anyway she did that the rest of the movie was boring. Something about the end of the world, I didn't may attention the only thing i recognized was the name in the credits. The credits said "The guy who held the camera - Spooky Joe" and i was all "NO WAY THAT WAS THE NAME OF THE MISSINGNO LAVENDER TOWN GHOST THAT HAUNTED MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE!!!" But then I think "NO surly there's another person named Spooky Joe right? RIGHT!?"
Anyway movie 3 was up but unfortunately it was corrupt but it could still play but it was all statick and only glitchy images choudl be seen of the PATRIX and i though I saw and killed me.
Then it was the 4th movie it was called MOVIE 4: I AM ERASED. I then seen this movie was a hrorororo move. What? Hallmark makes horror movies? But there was still love and so i guess it was good. K so there was this kid his name was Jo Affishing he was azuseing his computer to much 2 there was a man that appearted. I thought, "This just 'Chain Letter Lol' Right?" NO! was much more it was a knock off of pokamans. I coudl play with my remote controll and i losed because the vhs tape ran out of tape and i was all "NO I FORGOT 2 SAVE!!!" I took out the tape and the VCR had eaten it 4 dinner like toast and I was sad. So it was time for the 5th movie.
Movie #5 was called "UR TH MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I EVER COME ACROSS NOW LET'S MAKE OUT!" and then the movie wasd of Ronald McNugget Dump eating a toco salad sandvich. Mexican Patrixx said "NO RINDICION AHORA MIRRIOR!!!" (Surrender now die in Spanish) and Mr. Dump was dead indeed. and a lady name Cheese Bucket cleaned up his body there was a lot of blood and stuff so she painted her car with it so it was all shiny and stuff. Then the president Mountainary Chickton was a lady who said "You is der" and and i said "NO!" it hit the pause button and I went outside to think about my life. At 6 o clock AM by the way i wneterd the wrong house in th darb and a man shot me bcause AMERICA AND CAPITALISM AND FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND OOR REIGION DRAW UR OWN CONCLSIONS!!! I go back home with only major inguries just sever broken bones u know a broken leg, broken arm, and neck that kind of stuff. I seen just 1 more movie called "Patrixx.mlg" and it was just a picture of Patrixx with weird noise that gave me a seshur then d end and also i deen look out side and kiled me.
ur next
t nd
Written by Church of C'Shan
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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