Happy Appy 2: The Happy Appy Happening

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September 3rd, 2021

It has now been almost ten years since my first post on here, yet today I will be using you again because I recently discovered yet another season of happy appy. It was a few days ago when this happened, I joined a couple of instagram fruit-based-media fangroups (because in ten years i have not matured a single day) when in one of them a clip was shared that wasn't familiar to me. I had seen ALL produced episodes! Even the hidden ones and the video game! How was this possible? Well, let's say it seems some lanky bastard has been busy the last few years. I thought I had seen the last of him when I finally killed him and all his followers (or something, I don't know I didn't read the full story) If I had known what I was getting into I wouldn't have started my investigation the following day. What happened then? Well that is tomorrow, so I don't know yet - but I will once it has happened. I'll tell you then.

Semtember 5st, 2021

That yesterday morning when I woke up I got up to check my EMail on my computer. How did I do this? Well, my computer has a pre-installed EMail program that allows me to view recently received and sent Emails that are in my inbox. How does this work? Well, Email clients work through specific protocols - POP3 or IMAP addressing - When an email is sent, the Email Client sends it to the service provider's mail servers via the mail submission agent. How is this possible on my computer you might ask? Well, it draws electrical current from an outlet to power its parts and make them work, a piece of software, an operating system, guides them. Seems logical, but how? Well, electrical current is defined through electrons moving through a medium at an accelerated pace.

I opened an email and it was one sent by the instagram fruit group owner. He insisted on assisting me on my journey to find the origin of the mysterious clip. I haven't really told you much about that mysterious clip in question now, have I? It was a staticy short mysterious clip of an apple, or apple-like-being. It's apple-skin was bright apple-red. It's apple-stem was colored in a hyper realistic brown design. It's round, big apple-head sported a grimaced grin filled with apple-anger. I wasn't sure at this point but the warning signs should of told me: It was Happy! Incidentally the staticy low quality allowing me to barely see the image made it very hard for me to observe where the scene was taken. I'm sort of sure that it might have been a computer or control room, but at this point I didn't know yet. I should have known. Oh god i should...

The Email assured me that Mick Stummers, the aforementioned owner of the fruit-group would investigate and interrogate to find the origin for the video. That Email was then quickly followed up by another one by the same author, Mick, who told me that it took very little investigating to find the source. The poster of the clip was revealed to be Dunkin Marstersen, who was the original voice of the Blackberry hitman (hitberry?) in "Happy and the Blackberry" in season 2 of Happy Appy! Turns out Dunkin Marstersen was my next door neighbor and agreed to be interviewed! I went over to meet him and he explained he found the video on an old harddrive from back then. To my surprise Dunkin actually was an actual human-sized blackberry but since I'm not a racist I didn't mention it. Dunkin Marstersen then gave to me this hard drive, but it was badly broken - that was why the video was in such poor quality. Thankfully it only took me 20 minutes of decoding and repair to fix it at home once I got back home - It's contents were really exciting! A season 5 of Happy Appy! WITH DELETED SCENES AND BEHIND THE SCENES FOOTAGE!!!! Then I was too tired to watch it so I just left it on my desk and fell asleep on my bed. The next morning - today - I wake up, shocked to see it GONE! Somebody broke into my house and stole it!

I ran out to my front porch to see if the perpetrator was still around and I actually saw a person far in the distance, running away I could barely see. He was wearing a ski mask, on which there was a pair of ski goggles, and another face mask. At first I thought I knew who this was, but the lack of a gasmask made me realize that this couldn't be that idiot bitchmade motherfucker Forenzik. It was someone new, someone evil. I wasn't sure what his name was so I decided to call him Si-kko. (pronounced "Psycho") Frustrated over the loss of my new awesome hard drive I went over to Dunkin Marstersen again to ask if he maybe had a backup copy - I was shocked to find his foyer empty, his furniture in shambles, his goldfish dismembered and the living room empty - except for a glass. A glass holding BLACKBERRY JUICE! That assclown dickman Si-kko had killed my new friend!! I wasn't going to forgive this misdemeanor so I got into my car and hit the road to find him. I wasn't successful - however when I got home my entire house was flooded! It seems that maybe Mick Stummers had sent me another email a certain SOMEONE didn't wasnt me to see so Si-kko flooded my house to destroy the electronics therein.

Sebemer 6st, 2021

Today I bought a new computer for emailing people and upgraded my boring old fireproof house to a waterproof fireproof house. This marvel of housing technology might stand a chance against the evil powers I was declaring war against - cartoonists. I used anti-water-based hacking techniques to restore the email sent to me - It was by Mick Stummers again, informing me that he had located Kimothee Harmett, the body double and side-actor of Aphex Twin and the red Rhubear in the Season One Episode "Camp Aah"! Attached to this email was an address! However when I arrived there - a darkwood, rancid old hut I was met with a horrible surprise! The room was empty except for yet another dead body - looks like whoever flooded my house read the email because of which they flooded my house. The corpse in the middle of the room on the bloodstained stainy carpet was that of Mick Stummers! At least I assumed so, because I didn't know what Mick looked like and the body wasn't a woman so it couldn't of been Kimothee. It might have been a random dead person as well, but that wouldn't have made any sense for Si-kko to do. Right as I'm thinking about him he jumps out of the bushes in front of the hut and started attacking me, luckily I was holding my Winchester so I started shooting. Unluckily I missed every shot and he tackled me to the ground! He was accompanied by men in banana costumes, also jumping out of the bushes, however slower, since their costumes seemed to hinder their movements somewhat. A bus driver in a bus was driving by so I jumped on it to get away, as I got away I could hear Si-kko shout "This is not over, I know where you live, I'm going to kill you! My name is Si-kko by the way."

Septembe 8rd, 2021

The last two days I decided to take a break from my investigation and relax on the couch and watch Nick JR to relax. I ordered Apple merchandise off of Ebay and watched Nick JR. I am shocked however when then suddenly a stone flew through my window, shattering it. An apple-shaped stone. I knew what I had to do next: Upgrade to a rockproof waterproof fireproof house. Before I could even think about doing that I decided to want to retrace the origin of the apple-shaped window-stone. I took it to my friend, Mitchel Ginters, who is a police detective at a nearby station. When I came in he was showing some Canadian kid police evidence tapes from like 20 years ago, no idea who allowed him to do that. He couldnt help me much either but he gave me something that was discovered when staking out the wearhouse that was once used as the Happy Appy studios. it was Forenzik's Diary! Perhaps this book had the secrets of who Si-kko was within it! I shall translate it in its entirety.

"Forenzik's Diary

Hello, Diary. It is me, yes me, Forenzik F. Forenzik and I shall write onto you my innermost thoughts and feelings such as is common practice with Diaries and stuff. It is february twentithird twothousand and eleven! Today I met a stupid russian kid. I do not know the name of this russian kid so I decided to call him Gerasim Yakovlev. For some reason, this massive nerd is obsessed with the stupid fucking cringe apple tv show i made a couple of years ago - obviously that son of a bitch had to die so I snuck into his house and drew some shit using paint.net (he didnt have msPaint installed), i then saved those self portraits and song lyrics to his desktop - as is the widely accepted first step of first degree murder on an underaged kid with learning disabilities. the song lyrics were to "theyre coming to take me away, aha", a fucking banger. best song in the world if you ask me. can't wait to keep bringing it up for no reason over and over again. Any way on to killing the kid's friend - uh - i forgot the friend's name... maybe Kevin? (it wasn't Nate)"

This entry is from the same day that I started my investigation! Could he be talking about me? No way - I don't have any learning disabilites I know of and my name is a very common one in the large russian kid community here in Lousiana. Looks like I'll have to keep reading to find out more - sucks for me - i hate reading!

"Forenzik's Diary

Hello, Diary. It is me again, yes me! Forenzik Fredderik F. Gorgote! Your owner! I have come to tell you today, after a long time of no writing - about a new find - new hire so to say! I met another stupid fucking idiot little boy today - but this one was more murdery. Which is cool for me since I kinda dig that - kind of my entire deal you know - killing things - that and being able to see the future, but oh boy we abandoned that pretty early into Act 1 huh?"

Who could this boy be? An idiot like me? It couldn't have been Danny or Kyllian Sandro since they didn't murder as much, was there a chance that one of them was the boy who would become si-kko? Well, I don't know and it will be a while until I'll be able to tell you since I am a slow reader.

Sememem 12rd ,2021

Hey it is me again, sorry for the long time no post! In the meanwhile I have been very productive in solving this current mystery! But before I divulge my answers to you check out this potential list for episodes of the secret season 3 I don't have any sources and basically made all of those up, but I'm pretty sure those are the episode titles.

Happy Returns/Happy Leaves
Happy Returns again/The Screaming Episode
Apple vs Orange/happy.app
Happy Hannukah/???
Happy Appy and the Third Impact/Happy breaks the Geneva Convention
Happy Appy Holocaust/Happy vs Nüremberger Trials
???/Happy in South America
The Event 1/The Event 2

The following are some excerpts from Forenzik's Diary, following the one I previously shared.

"Hello, Diary. Forenzik again. This koid, I've been telling you about, let's call him J, he's - something. Definitely a good pick on my side. He's already insane enough to help me defeat this nosy little Gerasim kid but he still needs some training. Speaking of Gerasim, I hired a professional team of Hackers, the Cardinals, namely seven individuals going by the names of Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Envy, Sloth, Wrath, and Pride, hired them to crack Gerasim's blog and gain access to his blog.

Just kidding no I didn't, what a stupid fucking idea, what stupid fucking names, could you imagine those actually being real? Got you good you oblivious little motherfucker."

"Greetings Diary, the kid, my protege, J. is making great progress, today I watched him rip the head clean off a goose, gave me chills. Laughing the entire time as well - what a Psycho... Anyway he'll do great at defeating my nemesis, Gerasim."

"Hiya Diary, my trainee - J. will soon be able to fight Gerasim and actually win. In the meanwhile here's my success recipe for creating idiot killer kids to kill idiot kids:
1: pick weird kid
2: cowboy birthday party
3: hire 13 year olds with guns
4: ???
5: profit"

"Today I bought J, his first superautomatic rifle, it had an axe on the barrel, he was excited to get it and thanked me "thank you for getting me this rifle" he said, I said "you're welcome, Jeff."


That name.

Could he - could he be Si-kko?

If this is the kid I think it is - the weirdo I saw on the news who killed his family - then I was in grave danger!

"Howdy, Diary. It is me Forenzik F. Forenzik again, today the idiot kid, J., killed himself. Not sure if it was intentional, we were walking on a bridge and he fell to his death. Fuck me, man. So much time and money wasted. Well serves me right for thinking I'll get anywhere by hiring dumb kids."

Oh, so apparently not. May god rest his sweet soul :( He was kinda hot. May god rest his pale little ass cheeks.

Sebember 14nd, 2021

Hey guys, I'm back online after an internet shortage here in Lousiana. Today, with the help of my friend and master decrypter Saree Vong I realized that the first letters of the first word on all 100 Forenzik Diary pages together amount to a link! You're probably wondering: "100 pages?? I thought the journal only had 50!" Well, I found a second part of the Diary in a storm drain today after brutally massacring two teenagers holding knives who guarded it. The link lead to a dropbox file, that I downloaded. I was afraid to watch it alone so I invited Kimothee Harmett, Mitchell Ginters, Kyllian Sandro and Saree Vong to watch it with me. We sat down and ate popcorn as the TV showed the first scene.

It was the usual happy appy intro but it looked way better produced, for the first time it was in a wide screen aspect ratio and not old 4:3. The intro theme was a drum and bass cover of the acoustic happy appy theme. The title card revealed the title of the episode we were watching: it was the Event part 1! We then saw the clip from the instagram video in the beginning - only in much higher resolution - so we could make out where exactly happy was in said clip! It wasn't a computer or control room - it was a cockpit of a plane! Happy had an evil death stare on face for 45 minutes we watched it all. On the bottom of the screen was a time and date marker like is usual with old videos and such. Then the camera slowly panned over to the windshield of the plane - through it we could see a city on the horizon. A city and... Two towers. The time marker read 9/11/01. You can imagine what happened next. Kimothee Harmett ran out of the room, crying, shitting and vomiting because she couldnt handle the material because she was a woman and you know how they're like...

Then the windows burst into pieces was armored bananamen and Si-kko busted in! Fuck me for not investing in a bananamenproof rockproof waterproof fireproof house! They had uzis and used them to shoot at the people in front of the tv, they killed everyone but me. Then Si-kko took his mask off - revealing HAPPY APPY! It appeared to be an older version of him, having wrinkly apple-skin, an eyepatch and a grey beard + scars on his face! "I always was more than an apple, bitch." he said as he opened fire. I detonated the charges killing his bananamen, it was only us two left!

Then - a storm warning! A tornado was about to hit the coast of Lousiana! Right after we finished listening to this storm warning the storm came and hit the house! Debris was flying/falling all over while me and Happy battled! He was holding a katana, another katana, a battle axe, a swiss army knife, an enema syringe and two nunchucks, I was holding a tomahawk, a buzz saw, a saw buzz, a buzz buzz, a buzz droid, a bus, a saw, the assblaster 500 - world's largest dildo and my winchester. Since neither melee battle nor buttplay seemed like the proper choice I simply used the gun to shoot Happy dead. However he reformed and regenerated all his limbs, eyes and livers. I killed him again but he reformed again, but this time he reformed as a reformed christian. I decided to let this devout man of god live. He thanked me.

September 16st, 2021 - Epiloge

With all this over, I cleaned up the corpses and debris from my house, finally upgrading it to a windproof, rockproof, waterproof, fireproof house, leading it to be come the houseAvatar, master of the four element-proofnesses and went on adventures but that is a story to tell another time. With the final season seen as well on the link I got from the diary and both the creator+actors dead and the main star reformed - there was only one item left to collect as the world's biggest happy appy fan. I kidnapped Happy while he was praying in the church and chose to display him in a glass cage in my basement next to the decaying corpse of Freddrick Gorgote. That is all, goodbye.

Written by GeraSymptomatic
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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