Happy Meal
If a customer purchases a McDonald's® Happy Meal®, we recommend them to consume it's contents within seven days. If not, the curse of Ronn'alde Mach'donaalde™ shall slowly awaken within the unopened box, each passing day breaking the seal of one of six individual curses.
On the eighth day past purchase, the box's face, as shown, widens its grin and enlarges its eyes, though this effect expresses itself minimally. The box as of yet may do no harm, and the customer may easily discard of it along with its contents.
On the ninth day past purchase, the box begins to sing the McDonald's® jingle when outside the customer's field of vision. Although disturbing, it poses no threat. The jingle may come in the form of a humming, a "bada ba-ba-ba", or a whistle, followed by the words, "I'm Lovin' It", although the final words lack the completing melody, as the box speaks them plainly.
On the tenth day past purchase, the box begins changing positions every few minutes or hours, depending on how often the customer looks upon it. The longer the customer stares or the more times they see it, the less it moves. The customer may now take greater caution with the box, for it may use its new-found ability of occasional movement for destructive purposes, such as leaving the customer's fridge door open or spilling the customer's trash. We recommend keeping the box out of the reach of children and animals.
On the eleventh day past purchase, if the customer stares at the box for a certain length of time, they may notice a sudden blinking before they look away. Similar to the first curse, this may disturb the customer, yet does no harm. The customer may keep in mind, though, that the previous curses still remain active.
On the twelfth day, the printed facial features manifest themselves unto true flesh, blood, tooth, and bone. Discarding the box may prove extremely difficult now, disregarding its ability to bite, scream, and shake violently. The corners of the box now act as an anus and urethra, and the customer may notice thin strands of fecal matter and the scent of urine by this time. Discarding the box successfully may prove deeply unsanitary, for the box screams, shakes, defecates, and urinates all at once when the customer attempts to grasp the box. Although the box possesses a functioning mouth and digestive system, the customer need not worry over the box attempting to consume any of their body parts, although the customer may acknowledge the fact the box may devour small animals, including small dogs. Keeping the box as a pet is strongly discouraged.
On the thirteenth and final day past purchase, the box takes upon a visage unholy to the eyes of man. Staring for over fifteen minutes, blinking included, may drive the strongest of human minds to utter madness. If the customer begins to experience a sensation akin to "falling out of their head" when staring, McDonald's® strongly recommends the customer immediately look away. The box will continue to defecate, urinate, sing the jingle, shout, and wreak havoc upon the customer's domain for the thirteenth day.
McDonald's® holds no responsibility over any injuries (mental or physical), deaths, inner-deaths, or spiritual possessions from a customer's failure to consume or destroy a McDonald's® Happy Meal® within thirteen days.
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