Haunted McGangbang

Have you ever eaten the "secret menu" item at McDonalds known as the "McGangbang"? It is a combination of a McChicken patty and two beef patties in one humungous sandwich. However, what this story entails will be new information whether you're familiar or not. There is a single McDonalds hiding in the suburbs of of northern California. While 99.9% of customers will not witness anything out of the ordinary or shocking, as for in all intents and purposes, it IS an average restauraunt, this establishment hides a dark secret.

If you approach the cashier on a Sunday night, within the hours of 8-11 PM, and say "I would like a Haunted McGangbang, please." (you must use this exact phrase), the cashier will deny this being a menu option. However, if you repeat it exactly 66 times within 6 minutes, the cashier will fall dead silent and their face will begin to warp into numerous unknowable forms. A commanding, evil voice will emerge from this abomination of the human body. "Yes, my master. Please follow me."

They will lead you down into a dark, damp cellar. They will stop in front of an innocuous wall and open a portal into another room. Within is a sick, warped perversion of the reality you emerged from. The walls will be covered in the screaming faces of the damned, a combination of metal clanging and the anguised cries of those around you will perforate your eardrums. On a pedestal in the center of this chamber is the forbidden sandwich. The cashier will turn to you, and in the same horrific voice tell you "That will be $3.95. Have a nice day!". They will take your money before vanishing into thin air, and they will manifest back at the cash register with no recollection of what happened. If you refuse to pay, they will use their malevolent powers to set you ablaze and leave you to burn in the cellar. Nobody will be able to find you or save you.

The portal leading you into the chamber will shut as you walk in. As you take a bite of this slab of meat and bread, you will experience a euphoric sensation that overrides the horror around you. You will feel like a god as you continue to devour this highly caloric and sloppy meal. After you finish your meal, the world around you will turn white, and you will awaken back onto the vehicle you arrived to the building from. Your money will be returned to you and all will seem as if was all but a mere dream. However, if you take a look at the back of your right hand, you will see an unsettling sight: the McDonalds logo in front of a pentagram will be branded on to your hand. You will forever be no longer hungry. You will have forever be known as "the one who is lovin' it".

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