Hogan's Heroes Lost Series Finale
Bing Crosby. You may know him as a singer and actor from the olden days. He had a reputation for being abusive to his children. Bing was even the second half of an old comedy team with Bob Hope as they both starred in those "Road To....." movies. Bing Crosby was very beloved by his fans. Did you also happen to know that Bing Crosby also worked behind the scenes? One of those shows he produced was known as Hogan's Heroes. The show lasted from 1965-1971. Hogan's Heroes was about a POW Camp in Germany that took place in WW2. Hardly a plot subject for a sitcom. I learned about this show from my Grandparents even watched it. My Grandparents even had DVDs of other old TV shows. Everything from I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, and Gilligan's Island. One Friday afternoon, my parents picked me up from school and took me over to my Grandparent's house to go to H&R Block. I enjoyed staying at my Grandparents always had a lot of fun there.
Once I was dropped off my Grandfather told me he got a new DVD set. I asked him what show, and he answered, Hogan's Heroes which he admitted to me in the past was one of his favorites. Asked him how many episodes did he see, and he replied he saw every one of them. Was already familiar with the show because I watched it and others on DVD whenever I went to stay with my Grandparents. Since I've already seen some seasons of Hogan's Heroes, but not yet the final season. I asked him what happened in the final episode. He said, there never was a final episode that ended the series. My Grandfather said that I can watch it if I want. He took out the DVDs and it was the episodes from Hogan's Heroes final season. My Grandfather left the room to take a shower, much to my curiousity I took out the last DVD of the finale season and placed it in the player.
The DVD player turned on and there was an episode selection that played the theme song. I gasped when I saw a selection for an episode that said, "Last Train Ride to Hell: The Final Episode." So there really was a final episode. I clicked it on. The episode begins like any other Hogan episode, but the title card was different. The letters from the Show Title looked sideways, then it began to skip when the actors who played the roles were introduced.
Then the episode played normally and I didn't know what unimaginable horrors I was about to witness that was waiting for me to see......
Col Hogan and the heroes, with their female fetal, Olga, the white Russian woman, just blew up a train and return to their barracks all happy. Inside the train there were dead bloodied bodies of soldiers with their organs all around. When I saw that, I thought, "WHAT? Shows from this era are supposed to be non violent!" She tells the heroes she will now go to Moscow so Stalin can give her a medal. That morning Kinch gets a message from London. At first the message Kinch hears is white noise and you can hear the screams of people who sounded getting tortured to the fullest extent and even some cries for help. That shocked me to my core. Kinch just sat there with a stone cold look on his face and didn't react to the white noise screams at all. Screen goes black for 5 seconds following by a bland buzzing noise and some yellow letters appear, "Turn Back Now!" But I didn't want to because I wanted to see how this will play out. As scared as I was. Then it goes back to the episode. The message came through normally tells them Old, the White Russian woman is really a double-agent who betrayed them. Hogan yells to a point where he echoes, ok, every prepeare to escape.
Suddently, Burkhalter and Hoschstetter arrive with a large contigent of SS troops who quickly take hold of Stalag 13 "Oh no! Whats this!" I said.
General Burkhalter: Achtung Hogan! You are your heroes must surrender. There is no escape. You are saboteurs of the Third Reich!
Hogan: We were just trying to escape. We don't sabotage the Third Reich.
Major Hochstetter: Zo, ve finally find you what this man is doing here? Klink and Schultz came along.
Klink: Herr General, I had no idea about his.
Schultz: Me too! I still see nothing and know nothing! Could not turn away as I continued to watch.
General Burkhalter: That figures!
Klink: General what happens now?
General Burkhalter: Klink you dumbkuff, You and Schultz are going to the Russian Front!!! The way Burkhalter screamed like that it shook the speakers.
Major Hochstetter: Take them away!!!!
SS troops take away Klink and Schultz. Then a flash on the screen goes by fast and a tarot card of a skeleton shows. I moaned fearfully. Then the episode proceeds and it goes to Hilda.
Hilda: What will happen to me Herr General?
General Burkhalter: Frauline, You should make a one-way trip to Switzerland,
Major Hochstetter: What should we do with Hogan and his heroes?
General Burkhalter began talking demonically as he said, Ve shall shoot them as sabotures. Major Hochstetter looks at Burkhalter and both their eyes were a photo realistic bloodshot red. I trembled when I saw that.
Heroes are lined up against a barracks while the SS officers prepare to execute the herores. I screamed at the screen, "NOO!!!! DON'T KILL HOGAN AND HIS FRIENDS!!!!!! YOU BASTARDS!"
Kinch: I knew we should never have trusted the Russian woman Olga.
Newkirk: They can't shoot us! We are protected under the Geneva convention as POWS.
Carter: Are they really going to shoot us Colonel? I yelled at the screen again, "ISN'T SOMEONE GOING TO SAVE THEM! COME ON!"
Hogan: I'm afraid so
Major Hochstetter: Yells, Ready!
LeBeau: What do we do know Co-len-el? Thought this was such a light hearted show! And it ends so brutally.
Hogan: We'll think of something.
Hochstetter: Fire
Episode suddenly goes black then ends and goes to credits. Hogan's hat is shown with a red carnation laying on top if it. The theme song plays but it sounds like it's being sung in the deep depths of hell, this time there were lyrics that sang, "Hogan's Heroes Are All Dead. They're all executed and gone forever." "All of them died very bloody, died very bloody......" Then it began to sing in Swahilli and I could not comprehend the rest of the lyrics. After the closing credits the Copyright appeared and said, "Copyright 666 Bing Crosby Productions.". I was haunted by what I had saw and I let out a short scream. Taking out the DVD I tried to it where my Grandfather can never find it. Didn't want to ruin the image of Hogan's Heroes in his eyes. Never wanted him to see what had happened to the show that he such a fan of.
But something else happened, the DVD melted in my hand, and blood came out and it disappeared forever. How am I going to explain this to my Grandfather? I wondered. Once he got out of the shower, I decided to tell him a white lie that the DVD broke. He believed me. That night I was up all night in terror about the lost Hogan's Heroes episode I saw. Why in the world would Bing Crosby end the show like he did? Did he go insane? I kept thinking.
It's always been said that Bing Crosby always had a sadistic side to him, maybe we wanted to end Hogan's Heroes by showing people the harsh realities of what war can do to people.
Credited to PickleGarden9801
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