Holder Of Lies
In any city, any country, go to the nearest End Portal. Slay the Ender Dragon and fuck the Endermen (not Endergirls,
being straight is a moral sin in their world). DO NOT pick up anything the dragon drops, whether it be the obsidian or XP. Instead, there will be a wet dead tuna hidden behind one of the obsidian pillars. This is where you'll need to be strong. Walk until you find a one that you instantly gain a fetish for. That is where the tuna will be. Choose the wrong one, however, and Michael Jackson will appear and tear off your balls, then beating you to death with them.
After obtaining the tuna, leave The End. You will then step out into a small room. Turn on the light, which has now replaced your dick. Flick the balls to use it. A table will be visible, with Bill Cosby at one end, and a seat at your end. Sit, and wait for a few moments. Bill will make strange sounds and tell you lies to attempt to get you to gtfo, but don't take notice. Instead, sit silently and wait.
He will then sigh and lean forward. Lay the tuna to your left, and do not acknowledge it. The moment you lay your eyes on it Bill will disappear and you'll be trapped in the room because you're a dumb twat who couldn't do something as simple as not looking at a fucking tuna. Ask him, "is the weed safe?". He should nod. If not, you fucked it up and you'll be trapped in his dungeon as a sex slave because you're a dumb twat who couldn't do something as simple as following fucking instructions.
If he does nod, though, proceed with more questions. You will know when he lies. The moment he does, bitchslap him with the tuna. He will like it, but you may only do it once per lie. It may seem like he doesn't learn from it, but he does. After the 666th question, stand up and say "too long didn't read cuck get a real job lol", and he will give you a key to unlock the door.
There are two possibilities now. You will either enter your bedroom, with a million didos in the corner. Or, you will enter a sex dungeon with toys and people beyond your worst nightmares. A hooker will then staple a name tag saying "SUBJECT #009" on your left nipple causing you to scream. You fucked up real bad if that happens.
Written by Jerrika12
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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