How Frederick Saved the Jersey Shore

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The skeleton looked at the note he had in his hand. He LOVED his job. "Set of Jersey Shore.Pauly D.,Situation, Snooki." The skeleton jumped up and down, giddy at the prospet of scaring the douchebagginess out of the three people on the note.He hopped into his beat up Jeep and headed off to the Jersey Shore

Snooki was in the bathroom, vomiting pure alcohol into the jade toilet they bought because idiots want to watch her and her friends act like dicks.She stood up, before doubling over in pain as another wave of nausea hit her harder than Pauly D. She didn't see the thin shape behind the pure gold shower curtain.

Situation was doing push-ups and sit-ups, taking a shot for each time he looked at himself in the nearby mirror. So OBVIOUSLY, he was completely shitfaced. He looked over at the vague humanoid shape that his drunkeness blissfully obscured. He mumbled drunkenly, "Hey (HIC) baby, wanna see the (HIC) Situation?" He passed out drunk before being taken.

Pauly D. was in a nearby gym, bitch-slapping the emu-feather training dummy they bought because money existed. He was imagining it was Snooki's face. "Ya like that? HUH?!? Don't FUCKIN tawk back ta me, ya BITCH!" He was too blinded by rage to hear the swinging of a padded baseball bat

The three (For lack of a better word) people woke up in a room that appeared to be a carnival maze lit by dark blue LED's. They wandered about for a bit before a sound startled them. It was "Spooky Scary Skeletons" played at a deep reverb. A large figure stood, backlit by the blue light.He ran towards the group of dicks ahead. They screamed and ran through the maze. Pauly pushed Snooki down, allowing a short pause as the monster picked her up and carried her away. He didn't pause for long though. Pauly ran towards the left, and Situation ran towards the right. Situation ran into a dead end just as the creature came from behind him. Pauly heard a scream from the tunnel where Situation went just before he saw the creature again. He pleaded and pleaded, but it didn't matter. It took Pauly, and silence fell on the carnival maze as the LEDs dimmed

(4 WEEKS LATER)

Pauly woke up in a dumpster, with a note on his face.

"REMEMBER THE CARNIVAL MAZE"

Pauly remembered, and vowed to change his life forever.He donated his money to an orphanage, fed the poor, and housed the homeless. Snooki led her life a reborn nun, using her shares to fund over 250 soup kitchens across America. Situation started up a reform school for criminals.He alone has succesfully reformed over 300 individuals, not to mention his staff and various volunteers

Frederick Rather plopped down on his bed after a long day's spooking.A note flapped in from the mail slot.

"Sam Pepper."

Damn, did he love his job.

+<=>THE END<=>+

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