How Super Mario Sunshine put me into a Coma

You know Super Mario Sunshine? The game that makes everyone rage? Yeah that one. Well, that rage-inducing game put me into a coma for 93 years.

You may be asking "How the hell are you writing this if you're in a coma?" Well, I'm glad you asked.

I designed a highly intelligent artificially and automatically controlled bot on my 50000000 Mega Byte PC. When it senses I'm in a coma, it writes this very story. But I'm getting off track. So let's get back on track (GD REFERENCE!?), shall we?

Anyway, I decided to play Super Mario Sunshineon that fatful day. The sun was well, NOT SHINING. The birds were dead, and the screams of raging Mario Seenrunners filled the air. I booted up Mario Sunshine and opened up my 1st save file. I had just a couple more levels to go. I had a checklist out to check each one (I come VERY prepared) off.

I started the first level on the list, Serena Bay or whatever, that level with the electro mantras, revisited. I kept dying and dying. I almost raged, but kept it in me so that I wouldn't wake my new cat, Jeremy Jr. The first Jeremy died while I was playing Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix. After a bit, I beat the beat and the stupid mantras.

The next level was... oh no. THE PLINKO MACHINE!!! NOOOOOOO!

I reluctantly started up the level. I started off strong, just barely getting 5 red coins. I started working my way to the 6th one at the bottom, when stupid old Mario bonked the wall and fell to his death! I was devastated. I almost wanted to go to Nintendo, kidnap someone, and personally put them into the plinko machine! I decided to give the level one last try.

I, again, started off strong, this time getting 6 red coins. I then worked my way up to the 7th one, and collected it. I couldn't believe it! I was about to beat quite possibly the hardest level in Super Mario Sunshine! I started working my way to the bottom and final red coin, the legendary, infamous... 8th. Red. Coin. I was so close to it! So I kept inching closer, and...

Bonked my head. Mario came plummeting down to his Game Over. I THREW the Gamecube controller at the TV, but instead of the TV imploding, the controller bounced back and hit me on the head, putting me in the horrible coma I'm in now.

So, if there is anything to take away from this pasta today, it is to NEVER EVER rage at the Super Mario Sunshine plinko machine.

Goodbye.

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