How to Make 12 Cents in Your First Month of Business

Hey. Hey you! You’re wasting your time with your “education” and your “job.” You’ll just go on to work as a corporate slave and earn 11 cents per month for the rest of your life. You’ll never know true financial freedom.

But what if I told you, you could achieve financial freedom? What if I told you, you could make 12 cents in your first month of business?

Hello, my name is Bill Business from Coomy Woomy Academy™, and I will teach you business.

Business is all about the grind and the mindset. Your daily routine is the most important thing in this “Grindset” (trademark pending). Here is what you should do:

00:10 – Wake up.

00:15 – Scream at yourself in the mirror for about 3 hours. Just screaming “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGG” has been proven to be the most effective method, but other screams such as “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” and “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGHHHHH” have also been proven to work.

03:15 – Get dressed in a suit you bought for $10,000,000 or more (any less and you will not succeed and will keep making 11 cents per month). You should buy suits like these at Coomy Woomy Suits™. Just like they say in their slogan: “Buy from Coomy Woomy Suits™, or we will break your fucking legs.”

03:30 – Stare at yourself in the mirror and pretend to be handsome.

04:00 – Breakfast. Only one minute. No time for breaks in your Grindset (trademark pending).

04:01 – Invest all your money in Penis Coin™, the latest and greatest crypto, created and owned by Coomy Woomy Investments™. Your money will double every 0.1 second if you invest in Penis Coin™.

05:00 – Have your one business call for today where you call your friends from Coomy Woomy Academy™ to tell them how great your business has been going.

06:00 – Upload new products to the Coomy Woomy Marketplace™.

10:00 – Check what people bought from you the previous day, buy those products from AliExpress, and ship them directly to the customers. This is a very hard process, so be sure to watch all our instruction videos after you’ve signed up.

13:00 – Lunchtime. Only one minute so you don’t get out of the Grindset (trademark pending).

13:01 – Go online and recruit new members for Coomy Woomy Academy™. You get 1 cent for every new member you recruit. You can help new members sign up at pyramidscheme.cum.

16:00 – Look at a graph going up and pretend you know what it means.

17:00 – Avoid taxes. This will be done automatically if you sign up for the pro subscription. Then you have more time to look at the graph.

18:00 – Dinner. Only one second.

18:00:01 – Go outside for 2 seconds. Be sure to enjoy your well-deserved break in nature.

18:00:03 – Rob a bank. Those people don’t have financial freedom like you do. So they shouldn’t have their money anyway.

20:00 – Give Coomy Woomy Academy™ all the money you earned. You will receive your 12 cents at the end of every month (excluding January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, and December. Coomy Woomy Academy™ will keep the 12 cents during those months).

21:00 – Do a single push-up and squat to keep your body in top condition.

21:10 – Scream at the mirror some more.

23:55 – Go to sleep. To stay on the Grindset (trademark pending), you should only give yourself 15 minutes of sleep. To help yourself achieve this, try planting a bomb in your brain that detects if you sleep longer than 15 minutes. This should give you an Explosive Passion™ for your Grindset (trademark pending).

Sign up for Coomy Woomy Academy™ today.

You can get the basic subscription for $10,000,000 per second, or you could get the pro subscription for $100,000,000 per microsecond. Take back your financial freedom today.

(Not financial advice. Not guaranteed to give results. Coomy Woomy Academy™ is not responsible for any lost investments during our program. Coomy Woomy Academy™ is not responsible for any physical or mental injury you may gain while taking our course. Coomy Woomy Academy™ is not responsible for any deaths caused by our course. By signing up, you agree that Coomy Woomy Academy™ will take your soul and sell it to the highest-paying customer without informing you of the transaction. Your soul cannot be retrieved after the transaction has been completed.)

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Written by EvilLuigi.EXE
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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