How to Summon Viking Skeleton

Whenever TPWC is dead, there's a ritual one can perform to bring back activity. This ritual was practiced by the ancient Canaanites to summon a viking skeleton from the depths of hell to kidnap users from other chats and bring them back to TPWC. I learned about this ritual one day when I got high on some serious marijuana and a portrait of Elvis Presley came to life and told me all about it, right before viking skeletons came and murdered me. I went to hell, where Satan allowed me to take courses in Proto-Sinaitic to properly pronounce the spoken words necessary to complete the ritual. I spent another five months in hell studying the entirety of the ritual as well until I came back at this exact time because the Satanic bible states that TPWC would die at this exact time. To perform this ritual successfully, you will need:

• A basic understanding of the Proto-Sinaitic language
• Fresh blood from a living person
• The living person
• 5 human corpses
• 3 human skulls
• A large Satanic cross made of iron
• A Club Penguin membership of any duration (1 year for the most effectiveness)
• A bronze 6-inch blade

First, you must crucify the living person and make a cut with the blade large enough to bleed sufficient amounts. Then you are going to collect the blood in a large bucket and paint a giant Satanic pentagram on the ground with the blood. Make sure the person isn't dead. Take the 3 human skulls and plant them on the top three ends of the Satanic cross. Go to each point of the pentagram and hang the 5 human corpses low enough for their feet to touch the ground. This shit's really hardcore metal, man. Finally, cut out the living person's heart and replace it with the Club Penguin membership. The viking skeleton feeds on the souls of the damned autistic 10-year olds to gather energy, and the best way to collect them is to use a Club Penguin membership. The duration of the Club Penguin membership determines the power of the viking skeleton. A 1-year membership will ensure maximum power, but two 2-year memberships will be too much power, as it would destroy the entire solar system and the viking skeleton would grow to dangerous sizes and get into an epic battle with the lord EVIL PATRIXXX, but of course lose.

So once you've replaced their heart with the Club Penguin membership, the person should be dead. After that, you need to chant "Sbeouy gwoniuwygtenmiurtg enorgheoriurtgehoiuthyeit heroitht nehiuoyheriy hnreoi," while playing a sick heavy metal guitar riff. This means, "Viking skeleton, get your boney ass over here!" in Proto-Sinaitic. Then you need to step back (the ritual works best outside in a full moon btw) and watch the violent explosion that will occur as the corpses unhang themselves, run toward the center of the pentagram and explode violently. After the explosion, the godforsaken portal to hell will open in the pentagram and the viking skeleton will rise out of it. He will then put on his viking helmet, get his electric guitar and go to every other wiki chat to play hypnotic viking metal that manipulates the users into coming to TPWC.

Congratulations, you've just summoned a viking skeleton. He will work for you by bringing users to TPWC for six days a week because he's religious and doesn't work on Sunday, and you'll have to pay him 1,000,000,000 tacos every week or else he will use his autistic 10-year old power from the Club Penguin membership to rage quit and disappear back into the depths of hell from whence he came.

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