Hremail 3185

I loved the homestar runner website. But it shut down one day, and that's basically it. But BEFORE THAT, they shut down Hremails! I mean, what the crap? I mean, people actually watch that and it's DEFINITELY not mostly fictional! But then Strong Bad shut it down via his rake, shovel, and garden weasel! But then one day, Matt Chapman uploaded a photo of the script for Hremail 3185.

I went to the site about 5.67 days later and typed the adress that I hoped would lead to the new episode. Oddly enough, it did! It started off with a title card reading "???". It lead to homestar blowing the dust off his crappy green computer, only to throw it off the desk a second later. He put a lappy that looked like it has been through some tough times onto his desk instead. When he turned it on, I was suprised to see it worked. Although the lappy logo in the intro DID have a skull face, but I just shrugged that off like a generic protaganist in a poorly written creepypasta. He entered his email adress, leading to an email that asked him what it would be like if he was gone forever. The email was written by a guy called "<jklajfklaj,72389757*(&*(^v^)>". But I shrugged that off too. Homestar looked and sounded nervous when he finished reading the email, but he also sounded like he was trying to hide it. "Uuh, I'm not going to awnser that one?" he said. he noticed an attachment and opened it. The contents were HORRIFYING!

it was a poorly recorded video of Strong Mad in a pink ballerina dress. He was lying over the cheat, who had comical x-ed out eyes. His manhood gone, he was calling to the cheat, in a sad tone of voice. It wasn't realistic or anything, it was the normal crying Strong Mad tone. It cut to Missy, in an equally badly recorded fasion. There was another guy with a really bad mustache, who was holding a cold one and was clearly drunk. He was flirting with Missy particularly badly, and missy looked extremely annoyed with him. Matt walked in and said, "Guy, you're desperate. REAL desperate." "Matt!" Said missy. "Yeah, not cool." said Mike. Once the scene was over, I realised the drunk guy was just Matt, wearing a bad fake mustache, and the other Matt was edited in. This made snense, since I have no idea why the Brothers Chaps would add part of their real life into Homestar.

When the scene ended, it cut back to homestar, who said, "I've got the sudden uwge to go to the field!" And so he ran into the poopsmith, eating watsit. He was eating watwsit, and when he noticed homestar, he made this weird sound that sounded oddly like a human voice. I recorded in audicy, and then slowed it down and reversed it. It was in Micosoft Sam's voice, and it said "You, sir, have way too much time on your hands." It was extra spooky and had a side of french fries.

Homestar then saw Strong Bad drunkenly flirting with Marzipan, holding a cold one and using bad pickup lines. Homestar screamed as Marzipan and Strong Bad were destroyed. He then said "Well, time for Free Country USA to go skadoosh!" he then pushed Strong Bad's Dooj button and then it played real footage of a real explosion in Bikini Atoll. This continued for about 4 days until it faded to black. A message in Microsoft Sam came up, saying "If you ever mention this to anyone, we will frikin' KILL YA!"

It ended with all the characters in sillouette standing in the field at night, with the caption "Halloween thang is comin'!" I then realised this was all a teaser for the halloween toon. That's a real shame, since I really wanted to throw away all my Homestar-related belongings in the trash in a patchy the pirate-like fasion. Oh well.

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