I'm Addicted To Pressing My Fingertips Hard

I press my fingertips together hard over and over and over, and I feel intense pleasure, no pain. I squeeze and twist the fingertips and fingernails over and over and once I start I just can't stop. It feels like a mini orgasm in my fingertips. It feels sooo good and it produces some kind of physiological effect on me, because while doing it, and after, my demeanor completely changes and I think my heart rate slows down. I go into almost a stoned state similar to being a bit high on weed (the only drug I've ever tried and I only tried it once).

It's weird because pressing my fingertips makes me go into an emotionless state where I could never laugh or never react enthusiastically to anything (I temporarily become a zombie basically), I become slow mentally, and all I can think about and care about is continuing to press my fingers to get more pleasure. I basically become a slave to my fingertips. It's borderline debilitating tbh. But when I don't press, I both feel and act like a normal social person.

I press the sides of my fingernails and the top and corners and ends of my fingernails, and it's pleasurable on all my fingers. I think I can get a bit lightheaded, and once the feeling in my fingers begin to subside, my fingers feel "empty", they shake a bit, still buzzing with pleasure, and I have a strong urge to press them again. Sometimes I tap all my fingertips or fingernails hard against a table or hard surface repeatedly, savoring the vibrations traveling up my fingernails and fingers, taking in the intense pleasure.

I don't think this is a form of self-harm at all because I have no visible damage to my fingers. In fact, my nails look perfect unlike all the nailbiters out there. It's a strange type of addiction, where I feel no need to start pressing my fingers if it's a new day. But once I start pressing them, it's game over. I basically can't stop for the rest of the day.

I don't think it's masochism either, because it's pleasure I'm feeling, not pain. I don't enjoy pain otherwise. It's like getting high on a drug, but in this case the drug is attached to my body, and I have an unlimited supply.

As I'm writing this I'm pressing my fingers and I'm realizing that I'm a true addict. I'm such a fingertip junkie, why am I such a slave to my fingertips, why do I crave this pleasure in my fingertips? Why do my fingertips produce so much pleasure when pressed? I'm not addicted to anything else other than this (other than the internet).

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