I've communed with otherworldly spirits
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NSFW WARNING
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It was a late winter night at about 3:30am. I was in my room playing csgo with my online friends on discord. I was having the best time, and after a day of waking up at 5pm and doing jack shit nothing, I was glad to get some social interaction.
Then my mom quietly opened the door and whispered "sweety, you need to be more quiet and get some sleep." How dare she. I'm twentyfive and she treats me this way. So I say to her "thats it mom. I'm going to kill you, I'm going to summon a demon to kill you."
The next day, at 4:30 when I woke up, I went outside to get a squirrel to kill and offer to satan. I couldn't find one so I biked to petsmart and got a goldfish. I constructed a pentagram out of some of my crayola colored pencils and a few no.2s and placed the goldfish in the center. I was kinda afraid satan wouldn't want a dumb idiot goldfish as a sacrifice, so I put some of my sisters hair in there as well. Then I punched the goldfish til it died and waited for a demon. To my surprise the demon showed up.
The demon said "why have you summoned me?" And I was like "to kill my mom" and he said "well you're gonna need to give me more than a dumb idiot fish though." I didn't have any more allowance or sisters hair so I asked if there was another way to pay. The demon pulled out his massive demon wang and said "start suckin"
I sucked a greasy demon cock and drank smelly jizzy cummies and demon farted left poopy smelly all over then mom was still alive. I think the demon was just a stranger I let in and the goldfish is still on my floor because I didn't clean it up.
Credited to Agent789789
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