I’ve Decided to Stop Pooping and Only Fart
I've decided to stop pooping and only fart. Pooping takes up too much time, can strike at inconvenient times, and just generally sucks. Farting is just so much more convenient, just a little toot and you're good to go. You don't have to stop and shit, don't need any throne time, and everybody stays away because you stink. I've started training my body to turn all my poop into farts by mashing it down into simple gas. My body crushes it down while I let a little air in through my butthole to get the process started. Once it starts and gets to work I can let gas out for minutes at a time. Just a steady stream of toots, enclosing me in a bubble of my own ass air. It's so great to fart and never have to poop again.
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