I AM ANNOUCING MY IMMINENT MASTURBATION

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  NSFW WARNING

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

I AM ANNOUNCING MY IMMINENT MASTURBATION. I am aware that the announcement of imminent masturbation has been a serious reoccurring issue lately, and I am here with my bottom-level social skills to ensure that it will only worsen. I hope that this server full of mostly male members will appreciate the fact that I will soon be cumming, and offer me that coveted high-five that I so surely deserve. As the announcement of imminent masturbation is NOT in the current ruleset, I will continue to toe this line. Any and all action taken against me by the mod team will be considered extra judicial and I will retaliate by mobilizing my army of alts. If any males want to provide me a high-five or emotional gratification, please do so. If any females wish to provide me sexual gratification, ew. Thank you, and please remember: I AM NOW MASTURBATING

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