I Hate Pineapples

I hate pineapples, and I'm tired of pretending I don't. The way this stupid thing you call "Fruit" exits makes me wanna commit several types of war crimes. I fucking hate pineapples, I hate them more than anything else. The way the stupid fruit just exists bothers me greatly, I just wished that every stupid fucking pineapple disappeared from earth. I bet pineapples commit felonies while we don't look, I'm sure every single one of world's problems comes from this stupid little object. I know pineapples are just waiting for an opportunity to attack, just wait. Some of you normies may think that Hitler caused World War 2, but you are wrong, it was the pineapples. God, I just wished this stupid fruit would disappear completely, I was in the army for 10 years, fighting in Iraq. You know Osama Bin Laden? Yes, there was no Bin laden, it was the pineapples that we found once we raided the war criminal's house. I just fucking can't live anymore thinking I live in the same planet as these vicious, disgusting fruits, who spend their time committing tomfooleries around the globe. I have a friend who lives beside a pineapple plantation, and he tells me they go around at night, and scare him, he said they enter his house, his damn house, and sit in HIS fruit bowl. You know what? No, I am gonna burn that plantation to the ground, I'll be doing the world a huge favor. And if, per chance, I see one more of those fucking disgusting wretched things you call pineapples, I'll shoot myself, I swear. I was born without a father. I know it was the fucking pineapple in my fridge that made him leave. Then, when I saw that pineapple, I already knew what I had to do, I had to burn him to the ground. I will commit suicide, I swear. You know what? FUCK YOU, I know YOU are a pineapple too. Go eat shit asshole! GO EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING WRETCHED PINEAPPLE.

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