I am Shub-Niggurath's son

I remember my first day of school, when Mum dropped me off in her 1989 Honda Civic, all the students and teachers took one look at her, and went insane. I found this strange, and used my Eldritch Magic to cure their insanity. I was then bullied throughout school, since I wore a Cultist Robe. Mum's also a Smother, and makes me and her 999 other children call her every hour. Also, did I mention I have 999 siblings? Yeah, and you thought your family was dysfunctional. One time, I wanted to play the Xbox, but my brother, Zar'agath, cursed me, and when I said Mum said it's my turn, he convened with Yog-Sothoth, who said I lied, and so I was banished for 60 Million Years, and another time, when Uncle Nyarlathotep came over, we had to clean our Labyrinths, even though the Eldest Beings never leave the Devouring Room. Also, our Sibling Fights often escalate to all-out Wars. Also, I got expelled, since the Principal thought I was saying the N-Word.

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Credited to stormaster 

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