I am a banana
It all started one day when I was feeling rather bored. I decided to open up my phone and watch the tube, but that was my first mistake. I scrolled through my subscriptions list, looking for channels I haven't watched recently. Things started to get freeaky when I came upon the U section. Right there was UhOhBro, the hit classic channel by a man of mystery, AKA GREG. I clicked on the channel, already getting giddy with ecxitement. Greg was the most amazing youtuber ever, right up there with Boogie2988 and KILLLER KEEEMSTAR! Upon viewing the mans channel I saw a strange video. Entitled 'Greg.jpg (try not to die)' it sparked a bit of, dare I say, curiosity in me. I watched the video, and it was Gregory talking about his insanity from a certain Mr. Hansen and how Greg was going to ascend to a state of godhood in order to destroy all his adversities. At the end of the video greg told of how to summon him once he is in his 'final form'. I laughed, but something didn't sit right with me about this video, maybe the fact that it had ZERO VIEWS.
Days later I decided to perform the ritual. I went into my bathroom with three bananas and Greg's three books. I turned off the lights and chanted 'we live in a society' three times. Then, I saw a joker guy in the mirror. It was GREG. He grabbed me by the head and pulled me into the mirror. I ended up inside of his basement, along with all the other countless underaged girls. I pleaded with Greg, calling him the things he called himself on twitter.com. But it was to no avail. For days we ate nothing but vegan food. I cried every minute of every day. Then, on day four, he came down to the basement and announced that he was going to begin a ritual. He pointed to me and told me to follow him to the ritual room. I did. It was a small room with green screen walls and a green screen door. There was also a camera, and a banana costume. Greg got behind the camera and told me to put on the banana costume, which I did, fearing for my life. Once I finished, he turned on the camera, and a voice that was not my own came out of my mouth.
"I'm a banana... I'm a banana... I'm a banana... I'm a banana. I'm a banana. I'm a banana. I'm a banana I'm a banana I'm a banana"
Over and over and over and over again for what seemed to be hours, slowly speeding up. Then, a sound that shocked me to my very core.
"LOOK AT ME MOVE!"
I screamed as the ceiling was torn off of the room and above us there was a massive panda. It reached down, grabbed me, and ate me. The moral of this story is if you are an underaged gril, dont summon Greg. OR HE'LL GIT YA!
Written by Bloom
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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