I used to love beans but now i hate beans

So yes i used to love beans because beans are very good so i went to my local ikea to pick up around 40-70 cans of beans that would last me for a day or two and then i decided to go home after i was done shopping for my beans.

When i got home i really wanted some beans so i opened one of the cans of beans and then instead of a can of normal beans it was a can of blood because you know blood in these story's just make it 10 times better don't it?.

Along with all the blood in the can i also realized there was a piece of folded paper floating on the blood and this was around the same time i vomited due to the blood in the can and after i was done vomiting i decided to pick up the piece of paper floating in the can of blood.

I then began to slightly open the piece of paper that was folded and when i got it all unfolded i began to try to read it even with it's blood red dye all over the piece of paper and my hands and it said Something in spanish.

"Esta historia es una broma si no sabías eso."

I'm pretty sure it said something like i'm going to kill you while you are eating beans or something of the lines of that and i was very scared so i decided to open another can of beans in hopes that it would not have blood in it but then.

I heard a knock at my door and i was not expecting anyone to come over that night so i became very scared so i walked extremely slow to the door scared to death and then i finally unlocked the door and opened it.

It was a cult of people from-

Afghanistan

that there were mad that there were getting jack flip flop from growing all these beans for us the greedy americans so there took me hostage and took everything i owned, all my money, my porn, my flat screen Tv.

After that there decided to let me go with my empty house with nothing in it.

So the the reason i wrote this story was to warn you that if you buy beans the people at Afghanistan will come to you're house and take everything you own....

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