It wasn't a scamme
There's a lot of backstory but first some backstory. I shouldn't give information out online.
I was living in a trash can in a rural area. I got in contact with an information about an inheritance for me. I didn't know who would have thought of my but they asked me to confirm that I was *Mrpoopoopeepeeman69420* as a point of inheritance. I was in fact *Mrpoopoopeepeeman69420*, as they messaged that account as I was in a last will and testament to inherit a cabin in the woods.
I had always wanted a cabin in the woods. One of the qualifications was I had to have never written scary stories online before. I thought it was weird, but could confirm I hadn't really done that. There were some other details maybe brown tape so to speak but nothing too out of the ordinary, just wanted to also make sure I'm the kind that usually puts the sharpies back on public desks after I had them in my butt.
Okay, so there were some rules that came with owning the cabin.
Rule 1 - if you answer any phone that rings on the property, you have to believe everything they say and do what they tell you
Rule 2 - if you wake up in the middle of the night and your clothes are off, do not look under the bed but immediately go downstairs and call room service to clean up - Rule 1 also applies
Rule 3 - You are not allowed to hold it in if you have to go to the bathroom for more than 15 minutes.
Rule 4 - If you have to poop after 8:00 PM you must go outside and use the outhouse
Rule 5 - If you catch anyone using the bathroom uninvited on your property you must write a scary story about it
Rule 7 - Don't forget rule 6 if you fail a rule
Rule 8 - Beware of scamme's that pretend to leave you a voicemail, but more importantly do not respond or obey Rule 1 if you answer a fake phone
Rule 9 - Rule 1-9 cannot be removed by any other rule exempting the clause in rule 6 regarding rule 8, and supersedes anything from rule 1. Any former rules of previous owners current owner is exempt from unless they become aware of such a rule outside of Rules 1-8 while on the property (excluding clause in rule 6) after catching someone pooping on the property and before writing a scary story about it.
Boring backstory emitted. There were more rules over the years, mostly regarding Rule 1, 6 and 9. The 8's come in waves, I came to find. At first there were none (that I was aware of) but once I started getting the hange of it and catching on, it may have been too late. None the first year, for example, that I knew of at the time. Gradually as I lived there, I began to realize that there were some loopholes I hadn't thought of at first in the rules and they began to not bother me as much. Save the odd reflection that I may have answered a phone and not realized it at some point, as I wouldn't know if I had believed it or not. To my knowledge, I had never done so, even as the years wore on. Many "voicemails" said I need to return the calls, or that I'm forgetting to follow Rule 1 or the exceptions from rule 6 and 9.
I am writing this because tonight I caught someone pooping on my way to use the outhouse, right at about 8:00 PM.
As I was writing it, I got an incoming call and accidentally swiped to answer while trying to delete some text, the swipe I made trying to erase text answered the call.
"The whole world outside the outhouse is now gone - the fate of the world is now in your hands"
I heard as I wiped my butt.
Credited to knackeredeunuch
Originally uploaded on September 2, 2021
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