Jack Black was always meant to be in the Minecraft Movie
Author's note: I did not do any research on Minecraft (aside from the update versions) before making the pasta, and I know very little about data mining
So, you know A Minecraft Movie, right? The movie infamous for it's disgusting CGI, writing, and most infamously, casting Jack Black as Steve. It caused mass outrage from Minecraft fans and movie-goers alike on social media, but I didn't come here to talk about that.
The thing that intrigued me the most was why Jack Black specifically was cast as Steve? Why not someone else like the "minecraft dirt block" guy? However, all of that would finally be solved once I decided to go through Minecraft's source code to see if there was any further reasoning behind this.
I called up my friend Mike, and we digged our way through every Minecraft build to see maybe, just maybe, we would find how exactly we got Jack Black in the Minecraft Movie. And lo-and-behold, we actually did find some pieces of evidence. Which I have ordered by intensity below.
Evidence #1
The shortest, but most blunt one. Back when dyes were just released, the filename for the ink sacs, used as substitutes for black dye at the time, were named in the files: "ifwemakeaminecraftmoviejackblackwillbesteve.png".
Evidence #2
In the files for the Java 1.0.0 update, there was another unused mob simply called "JB", there was code, model and sounds made for it, but no textures. When spawned in, it was shaped like an average player mob, but wider and with a blockier body, all of its sounds were simply soundbites of Jack Black saying bad words, including when it was slain. When slain, it would drop an item called "Jack Hair" which is completely useless.
Evidence #3
By far the most frightening piece of evidence. In the files for the 1.19 Java update, there lays a note consisting of the text "DO NOT OPEN" next to a piece of code, clicking on the code will seemingly do nothing, until you open Minecraft after about 2 minutes of playing, "Jack Black" would show up with black eyes and completely crash your game. Mike and I were unlucky enough to fall for this, after we tried doing (and failing) a manhunt, our chat went something like this:
Mike (after discovering a black grass block): Yo, what's this?
Jake (Me): idk
Mike: Where did this come from??
Jake: how about we use it
*Mike breaks the black grass block and summons "Jack Black", who laughs maniacally and turns everything dark and scary*
Mike: WHAT?
Jake: HOLY MOLY
*Mike and I begin running away from "Jack" but he eventually catches up to us, lifts, and freezes us in place*
Jake: STOP
Mike: WHO ARE YOU??
*all of Jack's texts were spoken and dramatic music plays*
"Jack":who am i
"Jack":Who am I?
"Jack":WHO AM I??
*we were locked from typing in the chat from this point onwards*
"Jack":...
"Jack":I
"Jack":AM
"Jack":STEVE!!
*1,000 TNT blocks spawn behind "Jack" and were launched towards us, destroying the world and killing our avatars*
There you have it, this is absolute, undeniable proof that Jack Black was always meant to be in the Minecraft Movie, from simple image file name and entire mobs, I think I've fully convinced myself, Mike and maybe even you that Jack Black was always meant to be, and so was the Minecraft Movie to an extent. Now, if you listened to me, I have a few words for you. Share this to everybody so they know the truth. Send it to everybody, your family, friends, enemies, stragners, just everybody! They all need to know... Do it now!! Now!!! NOW!!!!
Written by JoeWritesNReads182
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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