Jeff the killer vs Squidward Suicide
Jeff was walking in the woods. He was barely clinging to the life, just barely escaping the horror of Slenderman. You would think that a 13 year old would die after being stabbed, and burned, but no, for the sake of satisfying the ovaries of his 11 year old fangirls, he's still here.
As he was walking, he was gasping violently, even occasionally spewing out blood. Besides his wounds, the sleep was catching up to him, and he fell on his knees and fell asleep. He had a horrible nightmare. In his dreams, he saw a person that looked just like him, but that person had black and red hyper-realistic blood.
This person was also crying blood with those red and black eyes, and as Jeff was approaching this strange figure, it uttered a single phrase, that makes Jeff's feet still sore and ache. It said: "Your time is up".
Jeff awoke suddenly. He had a feeling that some 11 year idiot old ripped off his Marie Sue character and used it as a girl, but he dismissed it as a glitch.
When he woke up, it was morning already. He decided he would get some of that alcohol, and continue with killing, for no reason. Time has passed since the evening of the Jeff's battle, and, by now, he had already healed, using his Sage abilities.
He found a bottle of vodka and continued his way. Not too far away, Squidward was doing the same thing. He was done killing his newest victim, this time it was a middle aged guy named Paul. He was very paranoid of the outside world and anything could traumatize the poor guy. Apparently he had a Sonic Adventure 2 game to stay sane from the insanely bad Sonic games. Oh, wait.
After he killed him, Squidward absorbed all of his blood, in order to refill his 'Hyper-realistic container'. It wasn't enough to him, though. He was still hungry.
As Jeff was walking, he coming in front of his house, but Squidward had already sensed him.
Squidward attacked him first with his tentacles, but Jeff had already pulled out his knife and cutted off most of his tentacles, but they regenerated. Jeff thought: "Would in be permanent?"
Squidward stopped, and started attacking him with his Hyper-realistic blood eyes. Jeff, of course, dodged it, because he's a almighty Sage. However, one of Squidward's tears shot him. And Jeff fell to the ground.
As Squidward was jumping in the air to impale the fish-faced fuckface, but, of course, Jeff pulled out his vodka, and threw it at the Squid. He got the Squidward in the face, and, pulled out his lighter, that just trough the power of plot contrivance happened to be in his pocket, despite all the hardship he went through.
He threw it carelessly, and with 100% hit ratio, he lit Squidward on fire Squidward burned like a jumping inferno, and, of course, the woods get caught in the fire, and everything burned down.
Of course, Jeff survived.
Written by Creepancakes
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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