Jimdebandkevin.exe
I'm a big fan of the Jim, Deb, and Kevin video game series like a lot of people. I've narrowed it down to the classic Jim, Deb, and Kevin cartoon shows though, because I think the rest that SMEGMA had spawned out was rat crap, or maybe, it was a mouse, anyway I was browsing eBay the other day, because that's were all the creepypasta games come from, when I found Jim, Deb, and Kevin SatAM cartoon all episodes for $1 with 5 easy payments of $99 dollars on Amazon with free super saver shipping if I bought a pillow with the stock image of a creepy demonic rabbit from hell for $100 pesos on Etsy. The shipping was only 1,000 euros anyway, so I checked out the article. It had no description, except for the description I just gave you two sentences ago, no address where it came from,
you know Germany, Canadia, etc. So I just bought the SatAM cartoon with the shipping fee of 2 pounds per spot. Not just for the nostalgia, but the writing was great, and I loved the SPAGHETTI PINGAS for DINNER in the series.
Well, it all started when Derpy Mail arrived. It arrived the next morning. Oddly enough, Derpy was eating a cupcake instead of a muffin. I was happy to get the episodes and immediately put the blank CD into my laptop, starting the DVD.
Sadly, the DVD didn't start but it offered me the option to view the files, so I opened the folder and saw a Jimdebandkevin.exe application. I was confused at it being a .exe file but I opened it anyway and indeed it was a Jim, Deb, and Kevin SatAM episode. It was the pilot episode with the Yoga Pants song. I can't say the title because SomeOrdinaryGamers would get a copyright strike for reading this on YouTube if I did because Google+ lets fat-cat TV companies dodge Fair Use and the first amendment.
The episode began normal with the intro, no blood or anything, so it's completely pointless for me to mention blood. but the sad thing was that my computer blue screened when the Yoga Pants song began. The computer rebooted. I took out the dvd because I thought it malfunctioned and threw it away. I could've asked the person to give me my money back but, no refunds.
I continued to normally browse the internet, speak to complete strangers on Skype and all. Nothing was wrong until, when I was cloppin' to the ponies, fappin' with mah bronies, wanking with mah cronies, and puttin' it up on the Sony, my cursor (The white arrow, in case you have the IQ of Kim Kardashian.) started to completely spaz out. I disconnected my mouse, but the cursor continued to thrash around the screen. I even deactivated my touchpad, somehow, and it continued. Suddenly, it came to a stop and I carried on, using a mouse like a Neanderthal, ignoring what had happened. Soon, I found myself downloading a ROM for Super Jim, Deb, and Kevin World, Fun game. As soon as it had downloaded I started up my emulator and begun the game in windowed mode, but, oddly, the screen went black. I shrugged it off and waited for the game to start, because goddangit I wanna play some SJDKW.
The familiar "J-J-J-J-Jim, Deb, and Kevin on N-N-N-N-Ninety-Five Five!" jingle didn't sound. Well, it did, but it was slowed down so much it sounded demonic and it gave me a cringe. The background remained black and Jim, Deb, and Kevin didn't run past the logo. It faded to black and some text appeared. I first thought it was a red font, but it looked like it was scratched into my computer screen. "Out with the old and in with the new!" I blinked and flinched as the main screen came on. The sky was a dark grey and the clouds looked dull and black, like right before a thunderstorm. The mountains were decayed and so was the logo. It even looked partially rusted. I was amazed at the pixely detail, but it also scared me. "WFMS 95.5" was now replaced with "WFMS 666" and the water was a bloody red. The familiar music wasn't played either. It was just a 16-bit mess of sounds, the demonic "J-J-J-J-Jim, Deb, and Kevin on N-N-N-N-Ninety-Five Five!" occasionally mixed in. Instead of Jim, Deb, and Kevin showing up, two characters appeared next to the logo - Conway Twitty and Johnny Cash. The sight of them terrified even more. Twitty's eyes were black and they were bleeding... his hair had been scalped as well and he had an expression of anguish on his face. Cash looked far worse. His cranium had been removed, his chick magnet guitar had been thrust into his chest, the sweet, soprano strings were dripping with blood and his eyes were black and bleeding like Twitty's and he had a look of horror on his face.
Just then I noticed a new character pop out of the middle of the logo. A bearded man arose from the logo. At first he looked like "BRRIING IT OOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!, but then frowned at what was around him. He looked confused and kinda pissed off, like he didn't really know what was going on. "Jim?" I thought. "What is this all about?" Curiosity drove me to press enter. A short, yet loud static noise sounded and the screen faded. I wish I hadn't done so. "Canada didn't want to play with me, but I can play with you right?"
The demonic "J-J-J-J-Jim, Deb, and Kevin on N-N-N-N-Ninety-Five Five!" jingle sounded again as for a split second, an image flashed. It disappeared too fast so I couldn't make it out, but I could swear I saw a red and black Justin Bieber, with black and red eyes. I almost felt them pierce me and that moment made me jump. It didn't begin in WFMS Station Act 1 though. I wish it did, that stage is fun. Instead, the title card read "Whale Sex 101 Act 1". The game begun. The ground looked like the normal WFMS Station, but the background was a villa in Los Angeles. Jim stood where he would normally be in the original game. Surprisingly, it was a well made sprite. It wasn't his classic self, but his current self. It even looked official. On the opposing side of the screen where Jim was at, there was a large, silver bottle cap. In front of the cap, stood the sprite of Justin Bieber with a smug look on his face. The animation of Jim standing there was that he stared forward with hateful expressions as that black, pencil-mark cloud that appeared in the Peanuts cartoons whenever a character was annoyed came from his head here and there. "I guess I should go kick his ass for pissing in that janitor's mop bucket!" I thought as I moved Jim towards the washed up pop star, but Bieber ran away and jumped into the cap. I made Jim leap in right after the cowardly egomaniac.
The level teleported to one of the stages where you can get an ice cold beer. The background was Bud Light in the fridge made of Bud Light. It looked delicious, but I was distracted by only having 4 red, white and blue colored spheres to jump on, I tried to balance Jim on top of it as he desperately tried to keep onto of the spheres, but my controls slipped and Jim fell. He fell onto a wall of "Goal" spheres. Just as I thought I'd teleport back a loud shriek sounded and the image of Justin Bieber continued to flash over the screen. The screen completely spazzed out and I heard shrieks. Loud shrieks from what I could swear it was Jim himself. I kept hearing "No! No!" and loud cries of agony and pain which abruptly ended with more statics for a split moment before the screen cut to black.
Soon, the title screen appeared again. Cash and Twitty were missing, but instead, Jim appeared. He was making his usual kick-butt pose, but his body had holes. Not bleeding holes or bullet holes, or buttholes. Just.. holes that pierced his body all over. His colors faded to a dull black and white. Even his eyes looked oddly disfigured. This scared me so much my entire bladder emptied itself. I crapped myself over and over as I watched a new character appear. I frowned upon seeing Deb, who had a sheer terrified expression, like Conway Twitty's, and backed up against the logo as if she saw someone coming towards her... Poor Deb, I think someone was indeed coming towards her. I wanted to quit the game, but as if forced, I hit start again and the screen faded.
"GOTTA GO FSAT Act 1" The stage was blank now and the background music was the Lavender Town Theme. It nearly made me gag, but something forced me to play. The stage began and Deb's sprite was, like Jim's, very well done.
The environment was a country. It looked like a dusty road. In front of Deb was a BOOST PANEL!!!!!!!!!!!! From Mario Kart Wii. I made Deb walk up to it and dash ahead. The level didn't change. The ground was a solid platform and it seemed that Deb was going faster, faster, faster as she went past BOOST PANEL!!!!!!!!! BOOST PANEL!!!!!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOST PANEL!! I noticed the music got completely out of sync, which scared me. Suddenly Deb crashed into a wall of spikes. A loud SPLAT sounded, which didn't even sound like it would belong in a 16-bit game. Poor Deb was torn to shreds. Blood dripped from the spikes and the bloodied radio hostess as the background slowly began to melt in front of my eyes. Take a shot every time blood is mentioned! I am not responsible for your liver! Anyway, the image flashed again and soon the title screen appeared. As expected I was back on the title screen and Deb appeared with Jim. She did look scared, but her other eye was... How do I put it? ... droopy and dead and bled a black goo. Her hair was over her face now instead of the back of her head. Her color scheme changed to a very, very dark purple and red like gangrene and hyper-realistic blood. Her clothes were a dull grey with hyper-realistic spots of blood.
Time for the third character... I saw Kevin pop out of the logo, putting on his game face, like he didn't know what torture would happen to him. The game was so terrifying and yet so fascinating, but I had to piss real bad, but my hand wouldn't budge. I even started shaking. I wanted to reach for the power button, turn the darn thing off, but my hand just wouldn't move and before I knew it, I already hit start with my foot and the screen faded.
"______ Act 9", it said. A bland, dull, repetitive song called I'm Wide Awake played in the background as the silhouette of the ground - and a sprite silhouette that resembled Kevin appeared in-front of a background that consisted the whole group. Jim, Deb, Johnny Cash, Conway Twitty and the SPAGHETTI PINGAS for DINNER appeared, all in their tortured forms with saddened expressions. It also had Justin Bieber, depicted in an accurate way, having a wide grin on his face, with razorsharp teeth. He had black eyes with red dots for pupils, which were hyper-realistically bleeding blood. It looked like he would reach out to the silhouette in front of him. I tried to move Kevin, get him out of there, but each wall wouldn't budge and Kevin would do a pushing animation. I stopped in the middle as, to my horror, the stage began to shrink and the black started to close in on Kevin. I tried moving him again, but the walls wouldn't budge or move. I walked Kevin back to the middle as the walls closed in on him. He crouched down before he completely disappeared in the black.
SPLAT!
The red writing appeared on the screen again, only it was dripping, like blood, (I swear one more f*cking time!) and it was crooked. "Country is dead..." I replied, "Shut up JB!"
Suddenly, a familiar scene faded in. I recognized it immediately. Family Guy was playing. It was the scene at the aquarium it played out normal with Peter harassing the octopus, until when it bursted out of its tank, it shoved one of its tenticles into Peters butt, making disgusting slurping noises. I could even see green fart gas and hyper-realistic blood leaking out of his anus. (That wasn't even 30 seconds FFS!) Worst thing was that the octopus even looked like he was enjoying it and, for a moment, I think I was too, like, "Good, you deserve this." To quote Shane Koyczan, Don't F*ck with the bees! I could see the corrupted Conway Twitty and Johnny Cash in the background too. Peter cried "Help it's all sucky and squeezy." the octopus simply replied, "Shut up, people have wanted to see you suffer for years!"
I giggled and looked away from the screen. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something on my bed... on my bed... was the demonic hell rabbit I saw on Etsy. I quickly got out my flamethrower and burned that Muddafucha. The marshmallows roasted on it were some of the best MrEnter had ever ate.
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