Jimmy Nutrition
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NSFW WARNING
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One day Jimmy Neutron was reading some fanfictions to jerk off to. Upon arrival to fanfiction.net he stumbled upon an author known as 666cookiemonster666, after reading the story Supergirl X RedHood and some others he knew right then and there that his pathetic existence was fucking meaningless. All of cookie monster's stories were depressing, action packed, and more. He needed his life to be like that.
After nine years of experimenting he accomplished his goal. He made a machine that could analyze the stories of 666cookiemonster666 and could therefore induce them into Jimmy. He was now twenty years old. Getting in the machine. He voice activated the program.
"Jewish people caused the bubonic plague," Jimmy prompted with such vigor. The device activated and that was when he felt it. The pain was agonizing, excruciating, tormenting. This was still better than helping shave carl's ass hairs, way better.
The machine stopped and that's when Jimmy got out of the machine.
"I feel the same, maybe it worked maybe it didn't... Ah fuck, I can't believe how pathetic I am. Of all the machines I've created none of them could give real meaning to my meaningless life. I have the gift of being a genius, yet what's the point when the only person who can understand my genius is myself... WAIT EUREKA! I've done it! I now spit nonsensical emo bullshit like in all of 666cookiemonster666's stories!!!" Jimmy cried out with such joy. He ran upstairs.
"Hey there Jimbo how was your day?" His dad asked.
"Like any other day, the void can never be filled. I am in a trench but without fellow soldiers, I am alone in this world of anguish and pain. Nothing can patch the hole in my heart." Jimmy responded.
"Sounds great Jimbo." His dad replied. Jimmy went to his room and took off his clothes he stared at his body in the mirror. He had the body of most men in 666cookiemonster666's stories. Which meant most people would assume he was on steroids. It was now time to describe his body like most men in 666cookiemonster666's stories would be described.
His sleek eight pack made her panties drop. His monstrous arms were all veiny, which caused her to get soaken wet. His chiseled jawline, and sharp nose, stubble type beard, spiky cropped hair, and defined cheekbones were all apparent in turn this made her gush of pleasure. He was a stud.
"Guess I should get some clothes on." Jimmy used his clothing option interface to get some clothes. He wondered what he would wear but he now had a natural keen sense of what to wear. He was going to be like Alex Mercer. His body morphed on the clothes, he was curious though. checking his pants he saw Calvin Klein underwear which seemed to be worn by almost all of 666cookimonster666's male characters.
Finding a bar he sat alone with his hood down. That was when a hot double D, short haired, bubble butt, cut faced chick came over to him.
"Hey there handsome can I buy you a drink?" The woman asked. Jimmy didn't respond or give eye contact, with indifference he picked up his glass of water and casually sipped on it and then looked her sternly in the face.
"Listen here you fucking thot. I have standards I have -" He stopped when he heard a familiar voice.
"Fucking throwing their gay parades to convince the little kids to become gay. Those fucking rat bastards. God damn fuck heads." The man said. Jimmy turned and saw who it was. It was Alex Jones. The song wildest dreams by Taylor Swift played in Jimmy's head. He was captivated by the man. He got up and snapped the woman's neck and his tendrils pulled her into him for his body to absorb. Nutritious.
"Alex Jones, my name is Jimmy nutrition I'm a neuro scientist, and I know the reason why you're such a dick to gay people." Jimmy said. A man came behind Jimmy to hit him on the back of his head, Jimmy's spider sense tingled and he weaved to the side and manipulated the mans arm to a submission hold. It was here that he snapped one of the man's fingers and then did a leg sweep causing the man to fall on his head.
"Get this piece of rancid crocodile shit out of my face! Kill this fucking dork." Alex Jones yelled. Jimmy was then approached several men one of them was too close for comfort. This was just like 666cookiemonster666's idea of real life, random fucking fighting for no apparent reason.
The closer one of the men pulled out a gun which Jimmy disarmed, he threw the gun in the air and the man looked up and that's when Jimmy punched him in the wind pipe, when the gun came down Jimmy grabbed it shooting the remaining men. Jimmy walked over to the coughing man who just had his wind pipe punched and stomped on his ankle fracturing it. The man cried out and that was when Jimmy shot him in the knee. He then aimed the gun at Alex Jones.
"No please, I was just joking when I told them to kill you. I have my whole life ahead of me, I have to sell my Super Male Vitality formula supplements, the government is putting estrogen in our food, in our money, in everything to make us docile and compliant. If you kill me you kill the resistance." Alex begged with himself on his knees crying.
"Oh I don't wanna kill you. I wanna fuck you." Jimmy stated. "You've been afraid of your own sexuality for far too long Alex Jones. It's now time we have sex that will result in both of our orgasms and or ejaculation." Jimmy explained.
"Oh, why didn't you say so, I would have fucked you sideways a minute ago if you had just said that." Alex returned. The two of them had sweet passionate sex. It was now time to describe sex like 666cookiemonster666 would. The embrace of their bodies meant more than just physical pleasure. They were both well endowed, both spiritually they were more than that, they were gifted, they were connected. It was far better than any other kind of pleasure in this world. They did things they didn't know was possible that night. All in front of panicked, distressed, and distraught people in the bar who were forced to stay by Jimmy or else they'd be shot on sight.
Time to end it like 666cookiemonster666. It was over. Jimmy had found the missing link to his life that he thought wasn't achievable. His life had changed, it was no longer about just science, he now spent his time on other aspects of life. He was the coolest guy on the block. Him and Alex Jones lived the rest of their lives together, and there was not a single regret.
Written by Shadowofelite
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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