Kirby 6664
This blog post explains a peculiar game and an even more peculiar story...one that I will hate forever.
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So today I got this really rare game for only one cent at a local garage sale. It was a rather odd sale, but I didn't mind. I remember when I got it about an hour ago. I didn't think a whole lot about it. Actually, I didn't even look at its title. Hey, a one cent game is a one cent game, right?
It was only when I got home and I finally looked at the game. It was a disc for the Wii, and the cover was blank, with the exception of some scribbling near the top in black sharpie marker. It read as follows, "KIRBY 6664."
Now obviously, there was something that caught my attention immediately. Why is this game on the Wii? I mean, this should be on an N64, if anything. Despite that, though, everything else seemed normal.
I looked all over the web for a game like this, but didn't really find anything like it. Is this a one-of-a-kind game? How did the previous owner have no idea how valuable this was?
I don't know if I've told you yet, but I'm a pretty big Kirby fan, so my heart skipped more than a few beats upon thinking that I have gotten my hands on such a rarity. I immediately placed the disc in my Wii and turned it on. What kinds of amazing things were in this game? Lost ideas? Failed concepts? New gameplay mechanics? The possibilities were endless.
As the Wii turned on, there was nothing but a blank screen that said "Ready."
Was this already the game? It didn't even go into the Wii Menu. Then again, this is probably very glitchy for a ton of reasons. Maybe this is a beta disc?
Whatever, now it's time for the speculation to stop, and for the exploration to begin! Grabbing the Wii Remote, I pressed the '+' button (normally associated with the start button for many of the games). However, as soon as I pressed it, it began all on its own.
The blank screen became pitch black. It stayed like this for approximately 23 seconds, until that white screen changed to a red color, like blood, as I heard an evil, childlike laugh that felt so hyper-realistic as I heard it. Then, there was a small dialog box...
"HELLO, MARK."
What? How did it know my name?
"CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING THIS ONE OF A KIND DISC. YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO WITNESS THE FRUITS OF MY SERVANT, HAL."
One of a kind disc? Fruits of HAL? As in...HAL Labs? What does this thing mean?
But I was told no more, as I was sent to a stage overworld (like the ones you traveled through to select the level to play in Kirby's Return to Dreamland). Of course, I was playing as Kirby. For some reason, I couldn't move him. Was this a cutscene?
This place didn't exactly seem to fit into a Kirby game either. The whole place was near pitch-black, with a light shining where Kirby was standing. The floor was white, and had stains of blood all over. It was just that floor, with a silhouette of what seemed to be a door at the other side. Fog was also in the foreground, and the overworld place was simply called "END." End? End of what?
Kirby turned his face to me, with an eerie grin over his face that definitely didn't convey his normal innocence. "AH, AT LAST. YOU HAVE COME, MARK. NOW BE A GOOD BOY AND HAVE ME ENTER THE DOOR."
I finally gained control of Kirby again once that textbox went. Be a good boy, though? What's through that door, anyhow? I moved him to it and had him enter. Just before, however, I was able to steal a glimpse at the level name... "666FREEME"
This just gets stranger by the moment.
And then the Wii just crashed. A high-pitched noise started to sound, as it normally does when it suddenly crashes. I went up to it and powered it down, but then the screen started to show static, as the Wii started to spin the disc at incredible speeds from what I heard. As I tried to unplug it, it was too late. It exploded, shrapnel being sent all over and tearing up my left hand, which then began to bleed profusely. I screamed in pain, until I saw something that surprised me so much, that it made me forget such a pain.
In the place of my Wii, there stood Kirby, smiling in a devilish manner. "Ah... How I have longed to escape my prison." He looked at me with a cold stare. "I don't know how to thank you, Mark. You completed my wish. I am free of that place. My destruction can continue, now, and my servants at HAL have done a tremendous job creating that one-way portal."
"What's going on?" I finally managed to ask.
"Your death." He then opened his mouth and started inhaling, swallowing everything in my room. I was able to grab my phone alone, and bolted out of there as soon as he started to do so.
From there, I have been running, hiding. I know I only have so much time before he finds me. I know my fate was sealed from the moment I assisted the devil into this world. So here's the truth...
Kirby is alive. He's in our world. As soon as he finds me, the rest of the world is to follow. If you happen to find this on my blog, spread the word, and prepare for him. He can be stopped if we are ready.
And if anyone from that demented HAL Labs is reading this, fuck you. Fuck you for bringing such a monstrosity back from its ancient prison.
This is it for me. Three days before he comes out of hiding...once he kills me.
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That's where this post ends. I'm sure Mark was discovered quickly after, which means that it is starting soon. This post was one day ago. So he has been released. My theory was correct. I must bring this to knowledge. I have to spread this.
Damn you, HAL. You did it right under my nose. I'll destroy this re-incarnated demon, and then I'll go after your whole group...
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