Krusty Krab Flag Theory

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SpongeBob SquarePants. I think everyone in the world knows about him. I'll spare you the details of the show, so if you don't know about him, please look him up on Wikipedia, and watch an older episode sometime.

Anyway, the Krusty Krab, as we all have noticed, has some maritime flags on the front. What could they possibly mean? Were they just for decoration? Do they have any significance? Well, I've taken the time to decipher the meaning of these flags, and the revelation may shock you. If you have weak constitution, I recommend backing out of this page immediately before the impact of my words tears you apart.

The flags were a SOS message, that a poor lobster fisher created, hoping to send it off to a naval ship when the atomic bombs of World War 2 exploded overhead, and decimated all in their path. Bikini Atoll is near Japan, in the Pacific Ocean. The Krusty Krab itself, as you will notice from its shape, resembles a lobster fishing trap. In fact, it IS a lobster fishing trap. The little flags on the side read ASH 716.

ASH 716... what could that possibly mean to the average viewer? Let me explain.

The fisherman, with his last breath, sent off his lobster trap with the flags that read ASH 716 because he was reporting that there was nuclear ash 716 kilometers off of the coast of Japan. Once he expired, only his lobster trap remained, and it sunk to the bottom of the ocean. The sea creatures in the overall area were exposed to insane levels of radiation, and most either died or began to mutate, and rapidly formed civilizations such as Bikini Bottom. A greedy crab named Eugene (post-mutation) discovered the lobster trap, and turned it into a successful restaurant for mutated sea creatures to enjoy sandwiches. Across the street, a long forgotten bucket sat on the sea floor. Sheldon Plankton, a rival of Eugene, turned it into his own restaurant, but couldn't compete with the Krusty Krab due to his supply of food being highly irradiated, unsafe for consumption, and overall disgusting (not to mention the prices) to even the most hardy and daring of Bikini Bottom residents.

The fisherman's disfigured, scorched body who owned the lobster trap was eventually found by sailors weeks later, but his message went unnoticed and unknown to humanity, only being seen by fish after fish upon entry to Bikini Bottom's most notorious sandwich eatery...



Written by Meaty
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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