LACE.exe
It was an good day outside. The sky was shining, the bird were singing. Naturally, I was looking up the latest and greatest news about Apple, the greatest company in the world.
I stopped praying in front of the Apple TV screensaver for a moment and turned towards my 2013 Apple MacBook Pro Retina. My fingers glided over the Apple TrackPad Multi-Touch Interface Sensor as I refreshed the front page of redmondpie.com for the 4rd time. I squealed in delight when I saw the Apple Watch(TM) for the first time; I mean, come on, a digital watch with a screen on it? Awesome!
I couldn't wait to see what my favorite iPhone OS App Developer had to say about this exciting new revolution in mobile technology, so I hit up his Twitter page. Oddly enough, there were no new tweets from him in the 8 minutes since I last checked. Perplexed, I decided to see if the genius had updated his YouTube page with more insightful and entertaining content for his legions of subscribers. As his YouTube channel page loaded, I waited in anticipation for the next Xcode tutorial or biblical sermon to appear. What I saw instead was utterly indescribable.
Now to describe the webpage itself. In the top left corner of my 2013 Apple MacBook Pro Retina, the normally normal "YouTube" logo was replaced with the bone-chilling phrase "YouDIE".". It chilled my bones. The layout of the page was an eerily similar hyper-realistic recreation of YouTube from 2006.
There was only one video in the "Uploads" section. It was 43 minutes long. Oh boy! A 43 minute tutorial! If only I would have known... If only I had heeded the warning... I ignored YouTube's odd layout and changed logo, it was probably just and glitch.
The video was entitled "Routing App Tutorial,", an innocuous enough name. I foolishly clicked on the video thumbnail, which was covered in hyper-realistic blood, eagerly awaiting the next installment of the developer's Xcode Let's Play. Instead of his cheery intro ("Hey guys, I'm talking softly to not wake anyone up", for the uninformed), I was greeted by a blank page and the computer.
Started to download a file, ANDROID.rar. When it finished, i unzipped the file without scanning it, becuz lol macs don't get viruses. There was only won file inside:
LACE.exe
Once it got into the Macintosh there were no going back now. I pressed "Delete,", butt sense it was a Mac keyboard "delete" actually meant "backspace.". Since I an am expert at the Apple TrackPad Multi-Touch Interface Sensor, I knew right clicking was impossible, but I did so anyway, in the process switching the story to present tense. When I try to delete it, it opens anyway.
This is very creepy. The program executes even though I did'nt use a windows computer, and I don't have wine installed on my 2013 Apple MacBook Pro Retina. So yeah, this is very creepy.
The interface presents itself as a sort of dictionary app, though I know not what the several indexed words meant. Something that strikes me immediately is how amazingly beautiful the user UI interface is. All other haunted dictionary apps on the Windows Store don't look anywhere NEAR as Polish and refined ass this. Also unlike those low-effort competitors, the easy to read font is uniform throughout the app. The crystal clear 6 point italic comic sans really makes the whole package look professional, and I can definitely see it being used by countless private high school students who study dictionaries. There were 15 tabs on the bottom, one of which presents a UIWebView that opens directly to the Creepypasta Wiki. Another provides helpful information regarding who developed the program, as well as contact information.
Back to past tense.
The interface only appeared for approximately 3.1415 frames, than the screen turned to pitch black. It appeared the first entry... 666... I was sufficiently spooked, not to mention basically bamboozled. 666 - the number of the beast. Hell and fire were spawned to be released. Sacrifice is going on tonight.
The next entry was for to be starting with A: Apple. Wait, but how could this be? Apple is my favorite corporate entity! Shirley you don't mean to tell me that... Apple could be behind all this? But I do. LACE.exe could be Job's way of communicating beyond the grave, using a dedicated Apple developer as his medium. This is what the "Apple" entry says...
Apple Inc. is an American multinational corporation headquartered in Cupertino, California, that designs, develops, and sells consumer electronics, computer software, online services, and personal computers. Its best-known hardware products are the Mac line of computers, the iPod media player, the iPhone smartphone, and the iPad tablet computer. Its online services include iCloud, the iTunes Store, and the App Store. Apple's consumer software includes the OS X and iOS operating systems, the iTunes media browser, the Safari web browser, and the iLife and iWork creativity and productivity suites.
This was so startlingly accurate. I wondered, how does this know so much? Then the pieces beganning to fit together. The sleek, innovative interface. The number of the beast. Apple. 666 - 3 letters. 3 points on a triangle.
Could Apple be the work of the illuminati? Who is this... this "Mr. Lace"?" What does it all mean?
My 2013 Apple MacBook Pro Retina blue screens and I nearly fall out of my chair in shock. I hear a knock at the door. It is a man wearing jeans and a black turtleneck. He has round-rimmed glasses and a bit of unshaven stubble underneath his agape mouth. He also has thousands of loyal Twitter followers. But what I noticed most after the tense swap was his pitch black eyes, leaking with dark red hyper-realistic blood. I was fantastically frightened. I accidentally knocked over my bag of Dewritos all over the floor as I flailed about the room. I hope you are taking notes on this section, I will be checking tomorrow. The balding man walked up to me with the douchiest swagger I ever did see. He put down his Starbucks grande coffee on a coaster, as to not leave rings. And then he approached me.
Before he killed me, he gave me a message to pass on to all of you, dear readers. He leaned in, twisting the knife deeper into my heart.
In a barely audible voice, almost a whisper...
He said to me the four words that haunt me to this day...
In a raspy voice...
He said...
"Like,
Comment,
And subscribe"
And then a skeleton popped out.
Sent from my iPhone
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