LOSTEPISODELIFE.EXE

There was a boy named Jeff who lived in a normal neighbourhood until he got magical superpowers and began to beat up some 12 year-olds with guns and knives because the plot matters. He then turned into the Joker after he got burned with bleach and alcohol and turned insane, killed a bunch of people and then got spooked by a skeleton.

Why am I telling you this? Because Jeff appears in this story, along with the Slenderman. I was at school that morning when my maths teacher blew up and caused hyper-realistic blood to appear out of the walls while my classmate called Sarah was screaming so much that she turned into the Tails doll and magically equipped a chainsaw and began to brutally murder people in Sonic R because the knife has no reason. I heard the Tails doll made someone's feet sore. While this was going on, I told myself that this was a glitch and moved onto my other lessons.

I moved onto literature class where the mighty Slenderman was teaching us all how to write. In the middle of the lesson, A SKELETON POPPED OUT and Slenderman was spooked so he made the skeleton teach the rest of the lesson by talking about Creepypasta Wiki Quality Standards before Shrek appeared along with Barney the Dinosaur and began to sing a heavy metal version of I Love You by Barney & Friends. Then Barney got raped. After a lot of this nonsense, I went to biology class where Sonic.exe started to ramble on about blood and guts and how it's good to look at. Then Jane the Killer appeared with an abrupt entrance by crashing through the ceiling because she dived out of a helicopter piloted by BEN without a parachute and with luck, she landed on the ground. Due to Sonic.exe being bored, he summoned Herobrine to zap her out of existence before the phone rang.

Herobrine asked who it was when a raspy voice said, "What are you doing with my daughter?" Herobrine told Jane about it when she said that her dad was dead.

"THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!", Herobrine said with an ear-splitting screech as Jeff walked in.

"Have you been pranking me again along with that Ben kid?", Herobrine said to Jeff with an accusing tone.

"No...", Jeff said sarcastically.

"I will take your goddamn knife and eyes if you do it again!"

"Whatever. It's none of your business anyway!"

Then there was an epic fight scene that was so epic that I passed out. I woke up in a bathtub when I realised that I had both of my kidneys removed. As when into an overly-dramatic state of shock, I noticed an eyeless guy wearing a blue mask and black hoodie walk into view.

"Oi! You better tell me where my kidneys are, you piece of shite!", I said in a tone that comes from my British heritage.

"What?! I only donated them to Satan!", he replied with a mix of anger and amusement.

"Whatever...", I replied.

"My name's Eyeless Jack, by the way. I like to harvest and donate organs."

"Since when did I ask you about your name?"

As he tried to answer that question, I got spooked by an Elegy of Emptiness statue with a nametag that said, "BEN"

AND THEN A SPOOKY TAILS DOLL POPPED OUT. To this day, my feet ache and are sore.

Comments • 0

Loading comments...