Laughing My Dick Off
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NSFW WARNING
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I was just laughing right. And you'll never believe what happened. I was just casually laughing at the sky right. And basically. What happened right. My dick. Just turned black and fell off. And I looked down at my feet at this moldy black sausage shape. And you'll never guess what I did next. I just. Laughed. More. And then what happens? Well. Get prepared for this. This is gonna blow your mind. But after I laughed more, my ass right. It just pops off from underneath me. And because I was sat down right, I just bounce up and my now disconnected ass cheeks topple down either side of my seat. Before I can even process what just happened, a storm of pure violent shit just pours out of where my ass used to be, with a force and intensity comparable to a burst fire hydrant. Next thing I know I'm getting lifted from the ground. The shit storm is so powerful it has literally pushed me off my seat. You won't believe this but I literally started flying. It was like some sort of deranged elytra from Minecraft. Next thing I know right, I'm hovering around in the atmosphere of what appears to be another earth-like planet. Then the shit stopped and I dropped. Hit the ground in some strange otherworldy town with loads of people with pointy ears. Then I tell them about what happened and they began to kneel in front of me. They started worshipping me. I became their god. Every desire I had, they would fulfill. It was amazing. I became their leader. This alien village became mine. Then one day, I was sat on my metal throne, eating grapes from the sweaty little palms of one of the slaves I now kept, when I decide that I desire a curry. I order one of my other slaves to fetch me one and he does so. On his way back up to my throne, I watch his weak little impoverished legs wobble around as he carries this huge bowl of the planet's finest curry. The next thing I know, a tremendous snap echoes through the air. The little slaves legs broke in two. For a moment I'm completely fazed. The curry splatters all over his skinny body and pours into his eyes. He starts screaming in and writhes around on the floor. Then I feel it. A laugh. Not just an ordinary laugh though. The greatest most powerful laugh I've ever had. I point at the small curry covered slave and I start giggling. The giggling drifts into gawking. The gawking breezes into laughing. The next thing I know, I feel the ground beneath me disappear. My body has been lifted. I look down and all I see is a pool of festering bubbling shit, all sprouting from my ass hole. I laugh more, and the next thing I know I rise up to the roof and burst through it, the slaves of my alien kingdom all looking up in awe. I can't stop. Their strange faces make me laugh harder. The shit blurts out like a jet engine. I fly up and up and reach the atmosphere. It's so cold. But so funny. And as all things do, my shit ended. I look down at the earth and feel my balls tingle like I'm on a rollercoaster of what was shit powered beauty. I start falling. I feel my limbs flailing around in the sickly breeze as I drop down and down. It all comes so fast. Next thing I know, the concrete gives me a big sloppy wet kiss. I somehow get to my knees, all of my bones broken, and I look at the horizon as the sun comes down. I don't know where about in the world I am. In my last moments I pull out my phone. I have a new message. It's from Josh. It's simply two words. "Haha yes". I look down in exhausted relief. My broken bruised fingers hover up to the screen. I type. Four letters. All I can manage in my state. "LMAO". I press send with the last of my withered strength. My body slumps over. My eyes fail me. I no longer feel anything. I have died. But I have died with the assurance, that I had indeed, laughed my ass off.
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