Lego Mario

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I shoved LEGO Mario up my ass and it got stuck up there. I've never played a Mario game but I'm a huge fan of LEGO. I heard that Mario was a "plumber" and I've been having trouble with bowel movements, so I bought the starter pack and shoved the little plastic Mario way up there, I mean WAAAY up there, thinking it would help. Well it turns out "plumber" wasn't code for anything and now I have a big ol' LEGO stuck in my rectum. Sometimes it makes noises and I have to keep coming up with elaborate excuses to explain what's making the sound. I'm hoping the batteries die soon. I was wondering if anyone else has made this mistake and might be able to offer me some advice on what to do next, as this really fucking hurts. Thanks.

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