Luigi Loses His Head: The Lost Episode

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A freeze frame from the lost episode

Today, I found a website called H3LLM4RI0.CUM. On the website, there was a lost episode of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show called ‘Luigi Loses His Head!’. I had never heard of such a thing before. I always thought DiC (actual name of the company that made the show) couldn’t afford any more episodes than the ones aired. Why would this one be lost? I clicked on the episode to watch it.

The episode started with the regular intro. But at the end, there was a single frame of Mario with a gloomy expression. I swore the text ‘HELP’ was on screen for a split second, before the episode transitioned over to the usual live-action segment.

It started with the usual cheery music, as Mario, played by the late Captain Lou, came into the Mario Bros. apartment. Luigi, played by the late Danny Wells, was blankly staring at the television. The television displayed only static.

Mario opened his mouth, but there was no audio as he moved his lips. Instead of the usual joke followed by a laugh track, there was instead the sound of children screaming in agony. After that, Mario grabbed a comically large wrench, as if he was preparing for a joke. However, there was no joke. Mario got the wrench and put it on Luigi’s skinny neck. He said ‘This is it, Luigi!’ Afterwards, he unscrewed Luigi’s head from his body. There was hyper realistic blood, streaming from Luigi’s neck. The blood was most likely hyper realistic, because it was all real. Luigi fucking died. Luigi’s head fell to the floor, and Mario picked it up as Luigi’s lifeless body fell from the couch. When Mario stood back up, he turned to the camera and suddenly had black-red eyes with hyper realistic blood coming from the now-empty sockets. I looked on, helpless, as Mario said “Hey, Paisano!” His voice then turned super duper deep like a demon. “NOW IT’S YOUR TURN! YOU GO TO HELL, BEFORE YOU DIE!”

After this shocking and gruesome scene, the show suddenly transitioned to the cartoon segment. The backgrounds were various shades of grey and red. Mario was sitting on a cliffside, crying his eyes out until they also bled hyper realistic blood. I suddenly thought to myself “If cartoon Mario had hyper realistic blood, does that mean cartoon Mario is also real?”. But I had no time to ponder this any further, as the blood from Mario’s eyes somehow flew into the sky, slowly spelling out the letters H, E and L. I thought the final letter would be a P, as a cry for help. But instead, the final blood turned into the letter L, and cartoon Mario finally decided to end his own suffering by jumping off a fucking cliff.

The ground underneath Mario turned into static, and then Mario’s body disappeared somehow as the episode seemed to end abruptly. I was crying and scared. I also shat my pants twice (atleast). Afterwards, a hand came through my TV screen. It was Mario. Captain Lou Mario, with his hyper realistic black blood eyes, came through my TV. Cartoon Mario and Real Mario became one! He suddenly spoke, as I was shitting myself again. “You better watch the next episode of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, or you’re gonna turn into a goomba.” I suddenly transformed into a hyper realistic goomba.

I struggled helplessly, and Mario laughed evilly. “This is what you get, SONIC.EXE from the hit game creepypasta Sally.exe!” How did he know my true identity as SONIC.EXE? I am typing this with my hyper realistic goomba feet as we speak, while also pissing myself and shitting myself and farting and cumming and crying all at the same time.

Then another shitty goomba drawn in MS Paint came out of my computer and said “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FOCKING MIIND?”

The end.

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