MICKEY MOUSE IS A CULT LEADER!!!

Most people who are reading this will think that I'm insane, but HEAR ME OUT! MICKEY MOUSE IS A CULT LEADER! You were lied to your entire childhood! Mickey and his dark brethren have brainwashed and indoctrinated innocent people, and have established a firm grip on the world for a long time. And boy, do I have proof of the Mouse's diabolical schemes!

For our first piece of evidence, why does his house look like him? Why is his advanced supercomputer Toodles shaped like him? In answer to this, the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is not just a house, but a sort of temple for his fellow cult members. Not to forget that most temples are modeled after deities are religious figures, which means that that Mickey's cult makes him appear as a god! As for Toodles, he was programmed with the express goal of carrying out his master's will and power to deal with ANYTHING and ANYONE in his way.

Our second piece of evidence, why do all his friends follow his every wish? They of course, were indoctrinated into Mickey's cult of personality. Donald, although grouchy, always followed Mickey. Goofy, although a buffoon, always followed Mickey. The point is, no matter how divergent the personalities of his friends, or whether they disagree, they always obey Mickey one way or the other.

Moving onto the third piece of evidence, how come there are no other people than Mickey and his inner circle? Were they perhaps killed or captured, or are there other followers of Mickey in other parts of the world? Moreover, remember that the only person who doesn't like Mickey is Pete, which indicates that he is the only person in Mickey's vicinity that was not corrupted by his machinations. Which is quite reliving, knowing there are people that resist the evil of the Mouse.

The fourth piece of evidence, while rather bizarre, is one that could be plausible. Mickey's presence possibly transcends that of his cartoon world. There's always the classic Disney hidden Mickeys in each of their movies, there's boatloads of Mickey Mouse merchandise you can purchase, and somewhere, somehow, Mickey always shows up in some way even in non Disney media. It is possible Mickey and his cult are really existing in our world right now, and they're tricking us into thinking he's a cartoon to cover up his scheme.

This fifth and final piece of evidence is perhaps the most startling and esoteric of them all, and is quite frankly, very obscure and disturbing. I remember as a kid discovering a VHS called "Goofy's Indoctrination". I got it from some sketchy guy at a yard sale who told me, "it will change your life forever." The cartoon was in the old 1930s Mickey Mouse cartoon art style, with the pie eyes, monochrome graphics, all of that stuff.

I popped it in my player, and the title card was just a black screen with the words "Goofy's Indoctrination" on it. The entire short was literally just 30 minutes of Goofy looking hypnotized, while sitting down watching Mickey Mouse Cartoons. However, at the last minute, Mickey's massive hand comes out of the TV and grabs Goofy, while a bunch of letters in an unknown language flashed on the screen. Needless to say, I was so scared I threw the VHS out of the player and threw it at a conveniently placed smelting pot. I've had nightmares of being in that same room with Goofy watching Mickey Mouse. They all ended differently compared to the short. Instead of Mickey's hand grabbing us, a hyper-realistic version of black and white Mickey whispered into my ear and said, "OBEY THE MOUSE."

So there you have it! My proof of the true evil that is Mickey Mouse and his despicable cult. You can call me a crazy conspiracy nut all you want, but I am FULLY AWARE of this terrifying plot and you should be too!

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