MY PIZZA IS A CEREAL KILLA
I love pizza. I have 999,999,999,999,999,999 slices of every kind of pizza (except anchovies) in my refrigerator and spent $999,999,999,999,999 on pizza merchandise as well. I sleep on pizza, drive a pizzamobile, play the PizzaStation 5, and even have a pizza wife. But this will change my love for pizza.
One day I was in my pizza themed clothes walking to the store to buy some pizza. Someone said that there was a new kind of pizza called cereal killer pizza. They gave me the slice and it was alive. I asked why it was alive. The clerk showed me the ingredients list, and they listed the following:
- Typical pizza ingredients.
- Green play-dough.
- Dog feces.
- Nintendo Switch controller.
- Adam Sandler's testicles.
- Cocaine.
I didn't believe him and took the slice and ran back home. I grabbed it and sunk my teeth into it. It tasted awful! I should have listen to the worker. I ran outside and used the hose to wash the taste out of my mouth. The slice jumped out of my mouth and ran back into the house. I tried to find it, but the TV was on and playing The Emoji Movie. 5 minutes in, my TV exploded. I went to my infinite supply of pizza in my fridge, but when I opened the fridge there was no pizza, and a skeleton popped out of it. The cereal killer pizza was on the floor with a bunch of spilled cereal, so he did live up to his name. Anyway, he threw a bomb on the floor and I ran for my life. My house exploded, and I was laying on the hot concrete sidewalk.
Suddenly, Wandering by Gunnar Olsen started playing out of nowhere. I wondered why, and then suddenly, Awesome Plush Productions was running at me with a knife and had hyper-realistic blood coming out of his eyes. I was nearly stabbed, but I kicked him in the nutsack and he died. More Awesome Plush Productionss started coming though, and they all had knives and hyper-realistic blood coming out of their eyes. They all said, "THE PIZZA IS COMING!!!" I was going to hide in a bush, but it morphed into Movie Sonic's original design. I screamed, but things got worse when a giant Rebecca Black emerged from the rubble of my house. I was cornered, but then Wandering stopped playing. I grabbed an AK-47 out of my shirt pocket and unloaded on all the evil Awesome Plush Productionss. Movie Sonic fainted, which was good, but Rebecca Black did one of the most evil things ever. She started singing the horrible song, "Friday," at the top of her lungs with no sign of stopping. My ears fell off, but then I realized that I still had my gun. I shot Rebecca's head off and ran (again).
A huge demon made of dog feces appeared in front of me. I pulled out my AK-47 again, but it was ineffective. I just flipped him off and kept running. Not a good idea. He did some sort of weird ritual where he just said, "SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY" over and over and over again. He summoned the cereal killer pizza, and the pizza turned into a pizza version of PATRIXXX. He grew huge and grabbed me by my head, and tore me limb from limb. My blood spelled on the ground, "I POOPED IN MY PANTS!!!"
THE END.
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