MaRIo IV: The Return
Its been a year since I played that haunted Mario game I got from my uncle (or cousin since she was the one who dropped the games off at my house that day). However that wasn't the only cursed thing that motherfucker had in store for me. Not only did I get the NES from him, but I also got the SNES from him too. I had a lot of good times playing the SNES when I was younger. I especially loved playing Super Mario World on it too. It was actually my favorite SNES game next to Megaman X3.
Anyway, a few weeks ago, I searched through my uncle's old games and found his old SNES. I searched through the games and found a copy of Super Mario World. Unsurprisingly, the cover looked different than usual. I saw Mario with that demon like head from the copy of Mario 3 I was given and he was riding on Yoshi like he was supposed to. I decided to hook up the SNES and play the game because I thought to myself, "Well, I'm already fucked. Might as well."
I hooked the SNES up to my TV and started playing. The first thing I noticed that was amiss was the title. Instead of saying "Super Mario World," it said, "MaRIo IV." I rolled my eyes and pressed start. The game began at Yoshi's house like normal, but Mario was nowhere to be found. Instead I was playing as Yoshi. I moved him to the right of the screen to go to the world map. The entire map looked like it was from hell. The water was a red blood like color, the grass was grey, and the trees looked like they were burned. There was only one level I could go to however. It was called, "I'm not finished yet." I pressed start and began the level. It was similar to the first level, but there were no enemies or music whatsoever. I just moved Yoshi to the right side of the screen like I normally would. when I got to the end of the level, there was no end of level gate like normal. Instead, the fucked up version of Mario was standing there.
A cutscene began to play. "You didn't think I would forget about you, would you, Yoshi?" Mario said. Yoshi just shrieked in fear. Mario moved closer to him. "How would you like to rule this world along side me?" I was given a yes or no option. I couldn't pick no so I went with yes. When I chose yes, Mario lunged at Yoshi and gouged out his eyes. What remained were empty black sockets. Eventually red pupils appeared indicating he was under control of Mario. They both turned to me and said "Your turn!" They sounded so realistic that I almost shit myself. Like last time, I grabbed my 9mm hand gun and shot the SNES. They were still on my tv, so I decided to shoot that too for good measures. I took the rest of my uncle's games out to a sandpit that was just outside of town and burned them thinking that they were all cursed. While they were burning, I swore to god that I heard my cousins voices saying, "Thank you." Well, I hope I won't come across anymore haunted games and that my cousins can finally rest in peace now that the games are no more.
Oh, and one more thing...
I'M PICKLE RICK!!!
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