Mario's Last Episode

I remember so little about what the fandom used to be before the internet. So far, it has been steady throughout its lifetime, yet I was born just as it was finding its footing. That was probably around 1997 or so. I used to think the fandom revolved around a bunch of people gathering together to talk about several things. Sometimes, it was about the latest SpongeBob episode or an upcoming video game that got a lot of hype.

I was already a fan of this kind of stuff, so I knew what was going down for me. I was already busy playing games, watching movies and operating blog posts. I was minding my own business one single point in time, when I came across a website I don't recall seeing before. For privacy reasons, I will not show you the real name of the site, but I will call it "LostandFoundMovies.com", because it was precisely that. It was a site dedicated to found media of several shows, but none of the videos were on YouTube at the time and you had to download them yourself to do with whatever you pleased with it. It was practically a mix of the Internet Archive and LostMediaWiki. The videos in question varied. Usually, they were pencil tests or storyboards from movies and episodes that never made it on the air or in theaters. Others were actual scenes that were pulled out. Some of these episodes were in their final production phases and were about ready to release, but were unexpectedly pulled off for no reason, yet they popped up here for all to see.

One video was simply titled, "Mario's Last Episode (UNRELEASED)". The word "Mario" brought to mind a certain video game character I truly loved. I have been playing the Super Mario franchise since I was a toddler, and I haven't stopped since. The thumbnail was just a spotlight illuminating Mario's hat on a concrete floor. The bottom left had a blue 2D version of the hat with the letters "S", "G", and "4", written on it. The symbol for long-time YouTube machinima producer SMG4, who specialized on characters from the franchise as well as other characters by Nintendo. He did his own characters as well, often using assets from Nintendo models. I had a crush on one of his original characters, Meggy, due to her beautiful design, cute voice, and her status as a mainstream character in the series.

The video had no description, no comments, no hearts (the like system for the site), and there was only one download. This was strange seeing that all the other videos had much more stuff than this. Trying to support the uploader, I downloaded the video and hearted it. I also noticed that the video itself was 30 MB, far more space than what a video would usually take up, but it also made the download last longer. It was okay as my computer had 125 GB on the hard drive. Once the download finished, I went to the video folder and clicked on it.

The first thing that occurred once the video player opened was that something popped up that resembled an FBI Warning of sorts. I clearly know that SMG4 videos never had FBI Warnings. However, this warning had different text that nothing to do with the FBI...

"WARNING! This is an episode of the SuperMarioGlitchy4 Blooper series that was removed due to content that was deemed too disturbing and graphic for mainstream audiences. If your heart is not weak, please proceed with caution. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED."

This warning did unnerve me a bit, mainly at the "YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED" part, but I had been dealing with these characters long enough to know it won't startle me a bit. So I pressed forward with the video.

It sickens me just thinking about those hellish images, and I wish that I had heeded that warning or at least try to make them go away. Nevertheless, I will try to explain what I had seen in 17 minutes: a twisted, disgusting, nightmarish vision of what was supposedly a lost series finale to the Bloopers of SMG4, a supposed tie-up of all loose ends from that the arcs left behind.

The video began with five seconds of black screen, followed by the regular SMG4 intro, albeit more glitchy than usual. Mario, in a distorted voice, says "So long-a Bowser!", which brought me chuckles. It later pains me just thinking about it because of the status of the video. The intro fades into a shot of Peach's Castle, going into the foyer, where SMG4 and friends are watching the Nintendo Direct. After a few minutes of spoof trailers and gags, another trailer began, this one being Sephiroth's appearance in "Super Smash Each Other in the Ass Bros.", portrayed by Cloud with grey hair and a longer sword. The trailer had the usual SMG4 animation, where "Sephiroth" was bouncing around like a ragdoll, slashing wooden targets. As the trailer comes to an end, the camera cuts to several shots of the cast with various reactions. The most surprising was the shot of Meggy, who had a shocked expression on her face. Tears are flowing down her face as flashback scenes of Desti are barely visible and flashing on screen with one second per shot.

For those who don't know, Desti was an Octoling who bullied Meggy with every chance she got, and in turn became rivals with her. However, she realizes she's doing this to toughen her up to become champion of the Splatfests. In the Anime Arc, Sephiroth, or rather an artificial clone of him, stabs Desti in the chest while she is trying to save Meggy, who was kidnapped in the arc and used to create more artificial clones. The stab killed Desti instantly, devastating both in-universe characters and the fanbase, including myself, particularly because they had ended their feud and had become friends at this point.

Once the flashbacks are over, Meggy breaks down in tears and runs off. The happy-go-lucky music cuts out here.

Mario: Maybe she didn't like Mario's weiner!

Tari: Wait a minute! We still have 30 minutes before the stream ends!

The video cuts to Meggy's house, where she is holding a picture of Desti. Her eyes are now red from crying, and there are still tears flowing. Everything is darker, and the music is somber.

Meggy: I wish there was some way to bring you back. What did we do to deserve this?

She ponders why everybody hates anime and humans, even though they didn't deserve to do so. Out of nowhere, Shadow Meggy, an embodiment of her negativity, appears. The scenery gets darker and darker every time Shadow Meggy talks.

S.Meggy: They don't just hate anime, they fear it. Fear they will destroy their society as they know it. And this is just the beginning. They will just about believe anything the media says, just because they can. They're just that predictable. They will shun you for minor circumstances and genetic mutations. Anything that does not turn into a squid is not like them. All they care about is themselves.

Meggy: That is not true!

S.Meggy: Oh so true. Not to mention the fact that this is all caused by your friend.

Meggy: Friend? What friend?

S.Meggy: That Mario guy? The weird schmuck who eats spaghetti all the time? It's all because of his stupid anime challenge. If it wasn't for him, that other friend would still be alive, and you wouldn't be exiled from home for the rest of your life.

Meggy gives up fighting back and breaks into tears.

S.Meggy: I told you. You can't trust anybody but yourself.

After what seemed like forever of Meggy crying and SM staring down on her. Meggy finally looks up.

S.Meggy: So, are you finally ready to get back at your oppressors?

Meggy: Yes.

Meggy's voice sounds just as deranged and sinister as SM's, only deeper to make her sound like an adult.

The next scene takes place back in the castle. Mario was minding his own business eating spaghetti without clothes on, when the castle doors slam open revealing nothing outside. Just pitch blackness. Out of nowhere, the black void charges straight at Mario. Mario's hilarious screams are drowned out by the sounds of ripping guts and bone cracking. I could see nothing done to Mario, as the void blocked any sight of him. By the time the void leaves, all that remained of Mario was a realistic-looking skeleton, with muscle parts, gouged out eyes, organ remnants and a pool of maroon blood. I practically vomited at his corpse.

The void, which I assumed to be Meggy, went for Bob and Boopkins next, which made sense since they were the ones who brought up the idea of the Anime Challenge. She found them in a nearby castle room, where Boopkins was playing with Miku dolls, and Bob was recording a cover of "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys. Meggy once again did unthinkable actions to the duo, this time leaving behind Boopkins' hair and Bob's robes.

One by one, the cast was picked off by Meggy, each having grotesque fates. Tari and SMG4 had burn marks and were found near SMG4's destroyed computer, with Tari having something in her throat that had the shape of a game controller. Saiko had her skull bashed in by her hammer.

The next scene went to Inkopolis on a rainy day, which was strange seeing that Inklings dissolve in water. At the city bay, two inklings in raincoats were fishing for salmonids, when they caught something that took their fishing rod. Up swam a massive, black blob, far bigger than a Boss Salmonid, which ripped off the dock the inklings were standing on, killing them both. Nobody could recognize it was one of their former residents, just a giant beast walking around, its footsteps making small earthquakes and rumbling sounds that sounded nothing like thunder. Its massive size caused it to tear through buildings like paper. The city had no military force, so they had to shoot it with any weapons they had. It didn't work, and hundreds of inklings were squashed like bugs, both underneath the monster and in the rubble of the chaos.

The monster had rampaged into downtown, where the Squid Sisters worked in their studio. Marie was on vacation, but Callie felt and heard the giant footsteps and had looked out the window to investigate. All she saw was a 50-ft tall mass of ooze walking towards her. It stopped in front of her, and kneeled out to face her eye-to-eye. It was when Callie knew what she was looking at. On its head was the red beanie, headphones and goggles of former Splatfest champion, Meggy Spletzer. Callie was astonished and horrified at the same time, wondering what the hell a champion had become, and why she ended up this way. Yet she continued to stare as two bulging, fish-like eyes opened up and stared back. Amidst the growls of the beast, the pitter-patter of rain and distant screams of civilians, She heard a deep voice in front of her that almost seemed female.

Meggy: You can't bring back the dead, Cal.

That was the last thing she heard before a massive beam of light hit her in the face. She screamed as the heat engulfed her.

In the next scene, Inkopolis was now in ruins, and the screams were now silent. Meggy was now back to her normal size and was once again a black void. She was all alone in the world she has destroyed out of rage. No more trauma. No more stupidity. No more arguments or wars. No purpose left here. Meggy no longer had anger or sadness. She was a pure immortal. Piano music played the whole scene.

Meggy: I'm sorry. For everything.

With nothing left to do on her world, Meggy flew up into the sky to explore the universe.

The credits rolled, but the background was black with grey symbols. There was no music. Just the sound of wind and rain.

Once the credits ended, it cut to black. I noticed there were at least 30 seconds left on the video, so I kept watching. When 25 seconds passed, an image popped up with a deafening screech. Something that will continue to haunt me in my dreams.

There was a greyscale image of Meggy on a black background, but everything was blurred. She was just staring at the camera, but what was even scarier was her details. She had shorter hair, but her eyes were large, bulging and fish-like. I could see a large smiling mouth with no teeth. I jumped out of my chair once I saw it. Once I got back up, I saw some sort of message for a split second before the video ended. I kept going back until I saw the message.

"I'LL BE HERE SOON"

Then the computer shut itself off and wouldn't turn on until the next day.

I was utterly shocked and I wanted to know answers. I LOVED this show, and this was an absolutely dark episode. Practically everybody on the show is dead, all because Mario did something stupid that made Meggy snap. Yes, SMG4 did kill off characters, but would he really make things this bad? That is what I wanted to find out. I contacted SMG4 about the episode, and this is what he said:

"Dear friend,

Thank you for telling me about this episode! I enjoy talking to fans of my bloopers, and I appreciate discussing this supposed episode.

For some time, I have been planning to produce a series finale to the bloopers so that I would focus on other things, like spending time with my bro and other projects. I am hoping that the finale will help get YouTube off my butt for all the profanity in the series.

The finale is still in a development phase. In that sense, the episode you saw is obviously made by somebody who wanted to end the series on their own terms. Keep in mind that this is not a canon episode and should not be regarded as such.

I certainly don't want to kill off all my characters, nor do I want to see Meggy go berserk. I want to give them all a happy ending, no matter how many adventures I put them on. It will probably take a while before I can provide the REAL finale.

The website you downloaded the episode from might also be fake! I can't find anything about the episode other than this one website, so it might have originated from there, as a personal website for whoever made it.

Thank you for taking your precious time reading this.

- Luke Lerdwichagul"

I still have the video on my computer, but I damn sure will not upload it. I don't want anybody else to see what I just saw. I have to stop writing now. It's getting late. I think I see two bright, bulging eyes peeking through my window, and I need some time to lock all my doors. I cannot leave, and she will not get in.

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