Mario's Masochistic Mission

One day my Wii was crushed by a skeleton so I tried to get games for my computer. But everything costed 666$ so I killed the salesman and tried to take the games but the games attacked me and I killed them with a gun. So I went home and searched in the internet for games and then a pirate popped out and I killed him and I got an email from a friend. It was written with blood and said: "He, I found a nice smw rom on smwcentral.com. Please play it. And say me how you liked it. ^^"

I played it with an emulator but on the title screen there were thousands of magically floating munchers and grass cutoff. "It's just a minor glitch", I said, and I moved on. On Yoshi's house, there were two info blocks saying the exact same thing. That was scary because normally Super Mario World only has no double info blocks directly because that would be a) unnecessary, and b) ugly as hell. But maybe that was a glitch too.

On the first regular level, there were invisible blocks everywhere and pipes, and somehow, on one there was even grass which was so ugly it's scary. "Whatever", I said: "The nintendo people who made this game just suck at game designing, nothing creepy."

I died thousans of times until I went to a info block. It said, written with blood: "In every level, there are 3 'kudos moons' that are in hard {insert unnecessary blanks here} to {ditto} reach places. See if you can find them all! (Oh, and your dead now. sorry.)"

Then I realized I couldn't exit the place anymore because a invisible-coin-block-diode was in the way.

That was the point when the game crossed the line. From this moment I realized, that this wasn't a glitched game. It was a hacked game. Randomness like glitches can't create such torturous things. This hack's creator must've been a sadistic mastermind, he took all the luckluster design and the troll traps from every single bad game or hack and squished that into a single hack, made of pure pain.

Then PATRIXXX appeared and I was like: "WTF!?!?!??!?"

PATRIXXX said: "Hi, I want to warn you because I have compassion for you for playing that damn hack."

I was even more WTF'd but PATRIXXX explained everything: "This hack was created by the Illuminati as an instrument or torture. The people who got tortured had to play it without savestates. If they didn't move on, they were electrecuted. But it didn't work. Virtually everyone died by brain damage, inner bleedings, eye cancer, heart attacks or spontaneous human combustion and the survivors had too strong brain damage to communicate. But the creator was fired because he published the hack on smwcentral.com to troll people."

PATRIXXX disappeared and even thought I was terrified, I continoued playing the hack.

I finished the hack 50 years later and a spooky scary squishy rex appeared and spoke to me:

"THIS ROOM IS AN ILLUSION AND IS A TRAP DEVISUT BY SATAN.

GO AHEAD DAUNTLESSLY! MAKE RAPID PROGRES!"

I searched for the creator and killed him.

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