Mario Kart DS' Effects on Me

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Mario kart DS does things to me and my penis that is difficult to feel anywhere else. It makes me believe in true love, in a romantic sense.

The idea that I can race anywhere on the go blows my fucking mind. When I played this thing for the first time, I went through a fourth puberty. I cummed the moment I seen the character roster, the tracks, the music, the high-octane edge-of-your-seat gameplay is fucking tight.

I wanna make love to the people who worked on the game and whisper sweet nothings into their ear while I go balls deep in them while I play the game, because it's handheld and allows for high functioning multitasking.

The fact that the exact moment I'm in first place and then a barrage of items obliterates me and I go off the track and end up in last place is extremely satisfying. I love seeing Daisy and Donkey Kong whip past me even though I'm using the best kart, the way it makes no sense is pure Bliss and makes my balls feel good.

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