Mario Kart Wii: Death Edition

Before I begin, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Trevor G. Mason. I am a huge fan of the Mario Kart series ever since Super Mario Kart on the SNES. The best Mario Kart in my opinion is Mario Kart 64 on the Nintendo 64. Anyways, I was driving down to my local game store. It had both retro and modern games. I was planning on buying Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare for my Xbox One. Just then I noticed a very bizarre game in the Wii section. It was called Mario Kart Wii: Death Edition. The box art was even more weird. It consisted of Mario with bloody black eyes and red pupils looking at Luigi who was screaming. Being the dumb fuck in every creepypasta, I picked it up. I asked the cashier how much it costs. And with the typical cliche, he said "Take it for free. Get it out of this store!" That was odd, but I shrugged it off. Once I got home, I turned on my Wii, inserted the game disc, and was ready to play me some Mario Kart. Everything seemed normal except the title screen. Mario was standing next to his car with green skin and black eyes. This gave me the shivers. I pressed start and created my save file. I immediately jumped right into Grand Prix and chose 150cc.

The character I chose was Luigi because he was badass. As I went to the course selection, there was only one cup called "HTAED CUP." It freaked me out because "HTAED" was "DEATH" backwards. The only track it had was named "Genocide Circuit." Seeing as there was no other choice, I selected it. The course was odd-looking. It had a red sky, dead trees, and if you guessed blood, congratulations. You just won the million dollar prize. The race started and I began to drive. This track's music was depressing. It kind of sounded like someone hitting piano keys randomly. I collected an item box and got a bob-omb and threw it forwards. Some racers got in the explosion but when it cleared their dead corpses were lying on the road. Tears started forming in my eyes. As I kept driving, the screen started getting darker and darker until there was just black. Then something horrifying appeared on my screen. A picture of Mario appeared like the ones you see on the Gameboy Camera. In fact, it had the same music. I shit my pants. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. When I came back to my Wii, Mario said, "Who are you running from?" I responded, "Nobody. I just need to clean the shit from my anus." This spooked the hell out of me and I went into a coma for 7 years.

I woke up from my coma and went back to my Wii, there were two options to choose. Those options were "Continue" and "Quit." So I chose quit because there was no freaking way I was going throught shit again. The screen went pitch black for about 15 seconds. A super scary Mario appeared accompanied by loud 8-bit scream for about 22 seconds. My Wii then broke and it cummed out red blood at my face. Out of nowhere, Mario came crashing through my window and said in my ear, "Its-a me motherfucker." He got out a sword from his back and shoved it up my ass. The sword went all the way up to my mouth. I died. Now you're probably wondering how I'm writing this even though I'm dead. Apparently, they have computers in heaven.

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