Merasmus faps to a stoopid sandvich
My name is Tom, and I'm a big Team Fortress fan. I like the second edition, although there isn't anything wrong with Team Fortress Classic. I've never played a glitchy or hacked game before, but I don't think I want to, after the experience I had.......
I was playing TF2 (I liked how it had graphics), when the mailman came. He put a packet in my mailbox and left. I left the server. and went to see what it was. it was a disc and Team Fortress was on it. There was also a note included. It was from my dear friend Kyle, which I hadn't seen in a while.
I could tell it was from him because I recognized his handwriting, but it looked a bit scratchy and like he had trouble writing it, or did it in a hurry. So, in short, I recognized his handwriting but at the same time I didn't? Okay then. It said:
"Tom, you have to destroy this disk other wise he'll kill you! DESTROY THIS DISK DESTROY THIS DISK DESTROY THIS DISK DESTROY THE DISK FOR FUCK'S SAKE! DON'T PLAY IT!"
Well, judging by the note, this game sounds completely safe! Let's play, because I'm the motherfucking biggest TF fan in the world! When I put the cartridge in my ass, it booted up and it was the TF2 title screen except that it wasn't. There was only one option: play alone. I clicked but in a split second the Heavy on the title screen turned into PIXELATED KETCHU- I MEAN HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD!
I could only select three classes: Scout, Soldier and, to my surprise: GRAY MANN?! Now I knew what was going on! Gray Mann is the villain and normally isn't playable is any single way ever! Could this game be... HACKED! Nah, just a glitch. But Gray and Soldier were locked, so I picked Scout. Then suddenly a pointless Kefka laugh happened. Then I went to a map called: PIT act 666. It was Gravel pit but without obstacles.
I ran past a whole lot of CORPSES THAT WEREN'T THERE BEFORE and then I saw Heavy, but with his back turned to Scout and his eyes closed. Scout slowly walked towards Heavy and static noises played. Then, in a split second, Heavy opened his eyes which looked the same as in the title screen! A message popped up:
"Hello, would you like to play with me?"
It took me to a stage called: "HIDE AND SEEK"
It was pl_hightower, but on fire and filled with HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD! I explored in a third-person view. I ran and ran and ran until I got to the tower that's in the middle of the map. I decided to climb it, but suddenly, a demonic voice said:
"I'M COMING FOR YOU!"
It was the bloody Heavy, and he chased me. I rant to the top of the tower, but I tripped and the Heavy demon teleported away. Scout then started panting and crying, and when he looked up, the Heavy demon stared back at him, and grabbed him, followed by a loud screeching noise. Then, everything faded to black...
It went back to the title select screen. Scout's part was now locked, but it did have an image of him crying out blood and looking super spooky and bloody and stuff!!!!!! SO SPOOKY!
I picked Soldier next, and that super spooky god-awful hyper-realistic laugh that sounded alot like Kefka's laugh from FFwhatever played again. The map was called: MUMMY PLACE OF SPOOKYNESS! It was cp_egypt, but actually inside a pyramid.
Soldier, like Scout, looked nervous, and seemed like he didn't want to go further into the pyramid. But there was no other way. Then, red static came and then more HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD OVER THE SCREEN BLAAAAH. Then a message:
"YoU canNoT HiDe"
TEXT IS SO SPOOKY BECAUSE I'M A F***FACE!
Then Heavy demon came. I tried to shoot him but Heavy teleported away, which made me and Soldier go insane and stuff. Then Soldier also got killed by super Heavy demon, blah blah blah, more pixelated ketchup, sadness and me being a pussy.
Then I took a nap, but Shrek came and fucked me but it was a dream so WHO WAS PHONE? Then skeletons popped out and slapped me in the face because I was screaming like the little girl I am.
So I then put the video game cartridge back into my Hobotendo 69 (wait, wasn't it a CD for a PC?) and played as Gray. The old f*** ran down stairs. Like with Scout and Soldier, he looked afraid and unsure. Suddenly, the red flames in the torches went an eerie blue, and then red static. Heavy demon then lunged at Gray Mann. More red static, and then, a picture of the Heavy demon giving a disturbing smile and those piercing eyes, with more spooky tekst.
"I AM GOD!"
I understood what happened. Heavy was all-mighty, and the many souls he had taken, including Scout's, Soldier's, Gray's, and Kyle's, were just mere coward toys to him. But then, my computer shut down by itself. I sat there, thinking of taking a shit, when I heard a whisper behind me:
"YOU ARE DEAD, NOT BIG SURPRISE"
It was a Heavy doll, with bleeding eyes and red glowing eyes...
And when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a skeleton popped out! THE HYPER-REALISTIC END!
Also you're next...
Well, there you go, guys! My first Trollpasta, and a big one too! Tell me what you think of it.
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|
