Method Acting

"CUT! God dammit Christian!!!" Screamed the director.

My breath was heavy, like a bear that just got done running a marathon. My eyes wild like a person that just got done watching a bear run a marathon like holy shit, why did that bear just run a marathon.

I pulled my knife out of the actors head and blood splattered on my face as I looked up at the director. "What? Did I miss my mark again?"

"No you crazy bastard," he screamed, "you killed another one. Why the hell did you use a real knife."

"I told you when I signed on to do this movie that I was a method actor. I am Christian goddamn Bale and I will be damned if I let a two bit director like you tell me I can't stab an extra in the face," I shouted.

Just then a little asshole sound guy dropped the boom mic into frame. So I stabbed him and the director to death too.

2 months later I lost out out on the Oscar. So my next role is man that stabs everyone at the Oscars that didn't vote for my movie. The moral of the story is when Christian Bale is in a movie, it wins an Oscar... or else...

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Credited to grghbbs 

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