Mummies Lost Cut
|
NSFW WARNING
This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations. |
THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON THE LIFE OF A CANADIAN WHO HAD THEIR LIFE CHANGED FOREVER (maybe)
In 2023, a movie known as Mummies came out. As a fellow Scarborough enthusiast, I saw the local theatre was playing the film. I was also a major fan of Tadeo Jones, so I caved in. The only other movie playing was Katak the Brave Beluga, so as you can see, I had picked the right choice.
When I had gone online to order tickets, the poster had changed to a hyperrealistic image of the crocodile, with bloodshot eyes. At first, I was thinking this was a weird issue with the website, but then I realized it was probably normal, so I continued.
When I went to buy the tickets, I had seen only one person had ordered a seat before. Odd, the movie was brand spanking new, with little advertising. But, I pressed on. The cost of the ticket was $6.66 dollars, along with $33 booking fee. A worthy price for Mummies.
I couldn't contain myself until the day it happened. It was so much for me to handle, that I found myself looking at images of Nefar every night until release. When the day came, I entered the theater, and it was incredibly desolate. Not a soul near Mummies, but a packed screening for Katak. (PS: Why do people watch that garbage?)
The thaetre employee scanned my ticket, and questioned my life chioces, before telling me that the other person was already in the screening. Odd, the showing didn't begin for another 40 hours. I sat in there, brought out my iCraig nino, and jacked off to Nefar until i fell asleep. When I awoke, the Warner Bros. logo began. The sheild was leaking blood, I thought the animaniacs were imortal. The person sitting next to me only grimiced at this sight.
The movie began as I had heard, starting with a chariot race. Seeing Thut on screen made my boner enlarge harder, but that's besides the point. When the crash happened, Thut had been shown up close on screen, with a gashed face, and blood leaking everywhere. A gruesome death for a kids movie, but Katak had a genocidal war, so I assumed it was normal.
The movie played as normal, until they got tp Britain. When they met the black guy (I forgot his name, too busy jacking to nefar), he had questioned if they were immigrants. Whgen they said they didn't know, he had gotten enraged, before the crocodile bit his face off, spewing hyperrealistic blood everywhere. The villian of the movie then had a 20 minute sex scene with his mom. Weird, but I assumed it was a glitch.
The rest of the movie was perfectly fine, until the fight in the museum. The crocodile went to comically bite the crotch of the villians lacky, but he ended up chewing his dick off. His foreskin was everywhere, but I assumed it was a technical error. The crocodile kept the dick in his mouth for the rest of the movie. Nice continuity!
When the movie ended, it played Walk Like an Egyptian. But, it was in gmajor, and demonic sounding, pixelated, bitcrushed, and told me to kill myself, and also more adjectives. Nefar than looked at the screen, with bloodshot eyes, and screamed the satanic utterings of cathulu. My boner went down.
The guy next to me finally spoke to me, it was Eric Pape, the local hobo and creep. He told me the theater was rigged with tons of explosives, if I didn't go watch Katak instead. So, I obliged in the name of my anime wiafu Nefar. Katak was an ok movie, 7/10, but all the children were crying. Eric Pape had rigged the theater with mustard gas. The employee watched me take my last breath, as he told me that Mummies weren't evem a real thing. I was shocked, and it gave me a triple heart attack.
This is the story on how I died. Satan is now my dad. He forces me to watch Katak every day. I miss Nefar. I lost my pee pee in the incident.
I love the expeirence, 6/10.
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|
