Mushroom Attached to My Crotch (Copypasta)

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  NSFW WARNING

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

I just took some LSD and when I slid my pants off to take a piss in the bathroom, I noticed there is a mushroom attached to my crotch. It has a shaft that is tan colored, a bit darker than my skin color. There is a wrinkly line of slightly darker matter toward the tip and above it is a pinkish tip with a shape that is typical of mushrooms.

This fungal structure appears to stiffen up when I touch it. If I stroke it, I feel these odd pleasurable sensations. Is this some sort of infectious fungal growth that has grown on my crotch? I don't know if I should just cut it off or seek medical assistance. I kept stroking this fungal structure because it makes me feel pleasure and after prolonged stroking, I felt a burst of bliss as a thick, white-ish opaque substance oozed out of the fungal structure. I'm concerned as to why this mushroom is attached to my crotch and how it makes me feel such pleasure. This seems to be some kind of bizarre fungal infection.

Have any of you had this odd fungal structure attached to your crotch? Maybe I'm imagining it cause I'm tripping out but it gives me tingles, I want it off of me. This hideous fungal structure is affixed as if it is a part of my body. It connects my skin. Should I be worried?

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