My Anime-Loving Roommate
It's two in the mother fucking morning, Gerald! We both have to go to film school in the morning at exactly 8 o'clock and I'm getting absolutely no sleep because of you. When I become a famous Director, I'll make a movie about a dumb fuck that wouldn't let anyone sleep and how his roommate finally snapped and killed him with a used butter knife. Our landlady has complained about us more times than I can count, she thinks we're watching weird porn, we are known as the weird porn watchers because of you, Gerald. If you have all this bloody time to watch anime instead of sleeping, why don't you wash the dishes for once, why don't you pay your half of the rent, why did I have to cover for you for three consecutive months, why do you always smell like old ramen and ass, go take a fucking shower, my hamster has lived here for less time than you and even he has taken more showers than you have. Why does your mom come every month into our apartment to do your laundry, you're 22 years old, grow the fuck up.
It's already three in the morning, fuck you, you time wasting troll, buy a fucking pair of headphones and leave me alone, oh, I forgot, you chew on the cable of the headphones, what kind of jackass would do that, you've broken five pairs and two of them were mine. Why do you, instead of paying rent, keep buying anime figures, just pay the rent, it's not hard. Why have you been fired from five jobs in two months, maybe because you're a dumb fuck who doesn't shower, doesn't take anything serious and spends all of his time watching anime instead of sleeping like a normal person. I can't imagine a worse human being, if I was stuck in a room with you and Hitler and I had a gun with two bullets I would shoot you twice, you dickhead.
It's four in the morning, you cunt. Don't you need to sleep? You do this every night, how aren't you tired? I don't care that Taiga can't be with Ryuuji, go the fuck to sleep or I'll punch you in the nards. Fuck it, I'm grabbing the butter knife, it's right there in the kitchen counter. I just have to go and grab it, maybe if I threaten him a little he might go to sleep. This knife is rusty as shit, it's stainless steel, how did he do this? Hey, dumb fuck, go to sleep or else! You think I won't do shit, how about this? I told you I'd punch you in the nards, now go to sleep! You'll be calling your mom, no you won't. You want to call for help, I'll help you. There you go! Now that you have a butter knife stuck deep inside your throat it's going to be easier to sleep, NOW GO TO SLEEP! Finally, pure silence, it's about time I stop getting NO SLEEP.
Credited to Vectthor
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