My Erect Penis Keeps Violently Killing People

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  NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Hello everybody, my name is David. I don't know if you've heard but my erect penis keeps violently killing people.

This all began one day when I was making love to my then living wife, Barbara.

"Ooh, Barbara. This is nice isn't it?" I said.

"No, David, please stop. You're hurting me!" Said Barbara, my wife.

I was shocked. I tried to retreat, but could not. Something with immense power was holding on inside. Barbara, my wife, started to scream. I pulled and pulled. Eventually a terrifying tearing sound emanated from below and we were separated.

I looked down at my genitalia to see a large bulbous thing covered in small sharp spikes slowly recede back into my penis hole (I don't know the scientific term for it). My penis was soaked in blood red blood.

"Fuck me, Barbara. What was that all about?" I asked my wife, but when I looked to her, I noticed she was dead. Probably because of what had happened.

The next day I went to the doctor's to try and get a better understanding of the changes my body was going through.

"So, Doctor, what do you think is wrong with me here?"

"It sounds to me like you have a severe case of sticky willy. Where the penis becomes possessed by an evil variant of the plant Galium aparine or sticky willy."

"Fuck me, Doctor. What can I do about that?"

"Nothing. There's nothing that can be done. Although it is entirely harmless so long as you don't have sex with anyone. When you become aroused the evil sticky willy gets agitated and lusts for blood."

"But... Doctor. I enjoy having sex and... my wife's just recently passed away. Are you saying...?"

"Nooooooooo sex."

I left the doctor's office dejected and horny. Of course, now everyone I saw looked ten times more hot than usual because they were all forbidden. But I couldn't have sex with anyone because my evil sticky willy penis would become attached inside of them and rip out their innards. If I performed the act of sex knowingly I would be committing murder, which would no doubt get me in some kind of trouble.

In an attempt to kill two birds with one stone I became a vigilante sex pest, by which I mean that I tracked down people who, in my eyes, not the eyes of the law, deserved to die. I got to know them, I took them to dinner and eventually I had sex with them, thus satisfying my sexual urges to have sex and my vigilante urges to punish those I, and maybe some other people online, felt deserved it.

Let this be a lesson to others though. Don't play around with the evil sticky willy you see here and there. Just use the non-evil stuff.



Credited to koalazeus 

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