My Experience With the Someone's Immortal

One night, at night. I was walking around and it was bright and sunny outside. I found an old man's garage sale and he kidn off sounded like Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy. I saw him and walks up to his Stand wondering what I can buy from him.

"Hey there, little fella! I have all sorts of sweet treats in my cellar if you want any!" Herbert said.

"You have any haunted spooky video games, Mister Old Man?" I asked.

"Now that you mention it, boy, I do have one in my attic. I'll take you up there!" Herbert retorted to my asking with.

Mister Old Man took me up to his attic and shuffled around in some boxes. I suspected he was looks for some pictures of some sort or a vidya game. I looked around his attic and found a PlayBoxCube 364 game called "The Famished Sandwich Rampage" and decide to yoink it without anyone noticing. I shouldn't have done that! "I met with a terrible fate, haven't I?" I thought to myself.

I took the chartrage and put it on my Nintendo Genesis after turning into my TV. I pick up controller and after five minutes I was able to touch me. I saw the mane menu of "The Famished Sandwich Rampage" and it was covered in blood! or was it ketchup? It was spooky scary! And I think i nearly saw something pop out or some thing. I dunno, I'm a fucking idiot. My friend who suddenly started existing for some reason walk up to my living area and knocks on my Window to enter my house and as he entered he showed up wearing a suit and tie and swimming shorts and a top hat and a pair of combat boots and now for some punctuation so the reader of this sentence can finally breathe. My friends sounded like the Squeaky Voice Teen from The Simpsons! He was probably 21 oar something. I'm still a fucking idiot.

"Hey Billy!" My friend spake to me.

"Hi, Unnamed Friend Who's Going to Die in 4 Sentences." I replied.

My friend and me started playing The Famished Sandwich Rampage and we got to the first level and it was EVEN SPOOKIER THAN THE MENU! ZOMG! There was an enema that was just a filthy Californian vegan cyclist DJ crossfit hippie loser! And it exploded into all sorts of oceans of bloodz and death and dying! It was so cool!

"Hey Billy. Is this the sentence I die in-" Unnamed Friend Who's Going to Die in 4 Sentences said before his face melted and his head exploded painting my wall red!

"Unnamed Friend Who's GOing to Die in 4 Sentences! NOOOOOOO! I WILL AVENGE YOU!" I said before t-bagging his carcass like a Halo 3 player.

I promptly went back to playing the game on my Sega Switch and made it to the final boss. It was a filthy emo kid with a spooky scary skeleton as a minion! I pushed the attack button (witch was Start, by the way!) but the boss didn't explode into death! IT WAS SCARY! The boss went on a 50 hour monolouge about being named Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and wanting a soft vampire femboy to Build Into a Sweetheart from The Ground-Up. I promptly grabbed my signed ultra rare edition of Sonichu #0 and summoned Sonichu to Zap to the Extreme! Then, my mom came crashing down the stairs with a hundred or so drug needles in her arms, then my brother sliced his hands off out of sorrow and bled to death. Then a horse walked into my house, slipped on the blood and broke a leg so it limped to a glue factory. As the horse was limping, it caused a 10 car pile up along the highway. This resulted in a mailman driving into a chestnut tree at 85 miles per hour. Then an ice cream man lit his truck on fire causing it to explode because his best friend, The Mailman, became a viscous red paste on a tree. The ensuing explosion resulted in more cars going up in flames, then a school bus full of orphans dropped below 60 miles per hour causing it to explode. This ensuing chaos scarred me deeply! I felt a stabbing pain in my buttcheeks because a piece of car shrapnel was about 2 inches deep. It hurt to sit so I went back to playing and standing instead of sitting. Sonichu leapt into the TV and became an ally in the boss fight. Me and Sonichu fought bravely against the Emo Boss. It was defeated by being zapped to the extreme, but Sonichu died in a cutscene i never saw before.

I went upstairs and tried falling asleep with the car shrapnel in my butt. It hurt a lot. I heard something weird in my closet, like a dog panting. I grab my shotgun and kicked open my closet door to find JC the Hyena panting furiously in the corner of my closet with a pillow of Tails from Super Mario Bros. I shot him in the dick and told him to take a seat right over there. He was then sent away to federal "fuck me in the ass" prison for 40 Brazilian years. 5 seconds later, he was Finnished off by some other dude by shooting his face with a BFG 9000 from Doom. It was a good day! Butt it got bad again. Some sweaty balding bastard in a pink horse costume offered me cupcakes. I shot him in the dick as well because he looked like Jimmy Savil mixed with Gollum and Smeagel. He exploded to death as I got in a life or death fight against the FBI for assassinating the president by using a playstation 2 copy of GTA: San Andreas: Limited Edition. It was actually that doofus Stewart down the street but they thought it was me because I'm the protagonist.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM! YOU VIOLATED MY MOTHER!" one of the guard shout at me.

I duck into my house as the 50 soldiers start shooting at my face. I scavenge around my bathroom and through video game logic find a Barrett .50 BMG and two AA-12 Auto Shotguns.

"Groovy" I say as i press x to pick up the guns. It was a really cool gunfight that you have to imagine because i'm too lazy to actually write it all out. But my house was the only one remaining because the rest got firebombed by rioters who also got involved. I was flying through the air on a grappling hook I picked up from a dead bad guy! After I kicked everyone's asses back to where they arrived from (probably some shitty place called Oregon) i went back to playing The Famished Sandwich Rampage. Level 2! Well done!

"Prepare for skeletons!" the magic talking display box said.

I started the level and opened a door. I got onto the floor and everyone walked the dinosaur! And then a skeleton popped out! I promptly shot the skeleton that popped out write in the face, making a geyser of blud hose from it's spine for some reason. I stopped and wondered "But then... who would was phone?"

Thinking that, a magic green Dorito appeared on my screen. I shot it and got 420 gold rings!

Then end.

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