My boss just died in my arms
"Your listening to the 39th ranked rock station in the lower mid west, KCOK." I said into the mic, "I'm going to spin another little diddy for you, a little number from everyones favorite band, Creed, this is 'Arms Wide Open', I said, my last word touching Scott Stapp's first word in the amazing song. I sat there listening to the first few lines when my boss walks in. I take my monitors off and set them on the board.
"Hey boss, how ya doing, you got a little coke on your nose." I said to him.
He sniffed hard pulling in all the leftovers. "Its my snack for later you little bitch, but you wouldn't know anything about that. You can't Afford delicious cocaine, you little bitch." He paused, doing 23 more lines off his full length mirror he walks around with. "MMMMMMMM, that's some YUMMY cocaine. Hey by the way, you really can't afford cocaine now BECAUSE YOUR FIRED." He screamed the last words. Cotton ball sized nuggets of blow falling out of his nose. He quickly dropped to the floor to re-snort them.
"F-f-f-fired!?!?" I shouted, "I gave this radio station the best 2 and a half months of my life!"
"We are switching formats, smooth jazz from here on out. Sounds better when I'm coked out of my mind than this TRASH." As he said that Scott's song crescendoed. "No man, this, this is REAL music." I said turning up the dial on the board that put the music through the studio speakers.
"With arms wide opennnnnnnn" I sang along.
He did 4 more lines. "Pack your shit and lea-" suddenly he stopped, grabbing his chest. "Ugrggggg," a pained moan came out of his mouth and he fell to the floor.
I ran over kneeling at his side. He pulls me in close. "Bury...me...with...my...co..." He was too weak to finish the sentence.
"Coconut? Cock? Coprophagia? Cool math games? Comcast's unfair business practices? What, WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT ME TO BURY YOU WITH THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTERS CO???????" I shook him with the last words.
At that moment he breathed his last breath and was still.
At his funeral is wife walked up to me. "The doctors said you were with my husband when he died. Did he want you to tell me anything." She asked.
"Unfortunately I don't know. He didn't finish his last words. I am so sorry for your loss." I said to her.
"Well you knew Brody, he died how he wanted to, with 94 percent of his DNA filled with drugs." She said.
"Cocaine specifically," I said and we both chuckled.
She put her hand out to introduce herself. "My names Connie." She said.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," I said. "I get it now. Bury me with my Connie!" I grabbed her by the torso and threw her in his coffin. "There you go body!" And I lowered them into the ground.
Credited to grghbbs
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