NEVER invest in Patrixxx Coin
So i'm a dude who likes 2 invest in cryptocurrency its like the future man if you'r not investin in it wat r u doin with ur life your gonna be left in the dust caveman! anyway i was on the super secret dark web known as 4chan and i got a post appeared from a random ananomus akowt and it said:
"greetins savy investor I am aware that you hav invested in may great new ways to make some bucks just in case the prophecy - I mean the conspiracy theories come true and the goverment is overthrown by C'Sha- I mean the lizzard people. Have I got a deal 4 u! U wana be a bigshot lol? (deltarune reference ur welcome) u should buy PATRIXXX COIN!!! why should you do it? 1. It's not evil 2. Its not run by evil patrixxx 3. it's not part of the new world order under the Eye of C'Shan. 4. there's millions of dollard involved and many blessings of good fortue!!! you should do it! - love not evil Patrixxx!"
It seemed really legit 2 me guys 4 reals like son, how can you go wrong with an offer like this? Everyone told me not 2 send that $50,000 to that princess from Nigeria and what do you know? she DID send me her pubes! who's laughin now bitch!? anyway so i cliked on it and it took me 2 a super evil dark really darker than dark like so dark I had 2 trurn on the lights and the dark was like a creature that didn't wana leev resonating from the screen and it was the color of that weird paint stuff that's spost 2 be super dark you know? Anyway that stuff happend and it was the hyperrealsiticly dark web so much that i turned goth. there was blood red letters on the screen that shaid "very good, investing in Patrixx coin will grand you unlimited power... HOWEVER u MUST obey the will of C'Shan and Evil Patrixxx! P.S. you can't escape now!" I was kinda like "ok but i'll go ahead and do it" i invested the rest of my student loan that I took out 2 pay 4 teh NFTs and it said "VERY GOOD!!!" and all went back 2 normal
I was disappoint cause i realized it was a scam but then the mailman arrived and gave me a package with a red VHS tape in it and it had MISSION 1 ritten on it in sharpee. i played the tape and it was Evil Patrixx he came out of the screen and said "greetings this is your first quest... You must call all ur frends and family and tell them about the gracious Patrixxx coin and convince them to invest. I said "OK" I called everyone but they where all dead 4 sum reason and Patrixx reappeared and said "Very good u hav completed the mission" I said "lol they're all dead I didn't tell anyone about it." but he ignored me and told me my next mission.
"Mission 2" patrixxx said "U must go 2 the streets and scream the praises about the Patrixxx coin" i said "OK..." I went on the streets and did so but everyone there was dead and there was blood everywear and i was like "I don't think this is safe" so i seen on the news that there was mass murdering going on it showed all the bodies and there was a police sketch of me..;. I WAS THE CULPRIT! i was spooked to move and Patrixxx appeared and said "Now do you understand what u must do?" i said "Patrixxx I don't think this is right." Patrixxx said "Mission 3 spread the word even faster post it 2 all social media and make sure ur coin is the most valuable" at this point i told Patrixxx I would do it and but I decided that I didn't want 2 be a murderer but i DID go ahead and put it on TikTok cause you know... the world is better off without that cringe. But then the swat team appeared and said "GIVE IT UP!" i told them about Patrixxx coin and they just dropped dead.
I seen on the internet that a guy named AGENT FATTY could help you with a Evil Patrixxx problems so i wrote him a email and explained everything only 2 realize after sending it that if he reads the part about Patrixxx coin he's going to die. Evil Patrixxx appeared and said "very good no one can stop you know that my nemisis is dead! NO ONE can stop you with ur precious coins!" i said "really!?" he said "there is an airplane comming 2 u with nukes though you must scream the the sky about Patrixxx Coin before they bomb you!" i did so but i decided since no one can stop me i would tel PATRIXXX about Patrixxx coin so he would die! i told him about it and he said "R U Kidding me? You wish kill ME!? I gifted you this power! Without me you would be nothing! you would have jsut spent all the money on something stupid! You dare betray me now you shall die!!!!" Patrixx then revived all the ppl i likked with Patrixxx coin and i was immediately givent he death pemalt and the electric chair and crusifixtion and all the ways u coudl kill somemone and Patrixxx was watchin it all happen and laft.
I then respawn in my house and i got a call from my mom. She told me about Patrixxx coin and I died
Ur next
t nd
Written by Church of C'Shan
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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