Nicktoons Bootleg DVD: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!
Author's note: This was inspired by Where Cancelled Cartoons Go and one of my older pastas, NicktoonsMovie.avi. Click the former link to read the story bc it deserves more attention than this.
Nicktoons, namely SpongeBob Squarepants, have impacted everyone's life in some way. Okay, maybe I'm just saying this because a lot of Nicktoons are my special interests, but you have to admit that most of the cartoons Nickelodeon has produced in the 90s and early 2000s were pretty good. However, I have always wondered why some of the shows, like Invader Zim, were cancelled without a series finale. This question had been plaguing my mind since 2016 and still remains unanswered, but I now know why many of the shows didn't get reboots and most likely never will.
My experience started when I received a DVD that was supposedly from Nickelodeon along with a letter:
"Dear viewer,
We are excited to let you know that we have a new project we are working on featuring several Nicktoons and you are the test audience! Please email us your response and give a rating!
~Nickelodeon"
I found this strange, as this wasn't how test audiences normally worked, but with Covid and quarantine, I felt as if I had to take what I could get. I took a quick look at the DVD. The title was "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!" and had SpongeBob, Timmy, Danny, and Jimmy on the cover. This, I thought, is definitely an appeal to the older audiences. I popped the DVD into my PC and began watching, expecting some Earth Day type episode.
The episode started with SpongeBob strolling around a studio of some sort when he came across a door. The door had a wooden sign with three words carved into it:
"DO NOT ENTER"
SpongeBob squinted his eyes and read the sign before turning around and walking away when an unknown force pushed him back towards the door. He tried to walk past the door, but the same force pushed him back. SpongeBob gave up and went through the door, which led to stairs. SpongeBob went down the stairs as he looked more and more nervous with every couple steps. Rust-colored walls sported colorful portraits of several Nicktoons characters, some of which had a large red "D" painted on them. I was wondering what the D could stand for before I put two and two together as SpongeBob continued down the stairs. A panel came of the wall as a hand reached out from behind the panel and grabbed the sponge. The panel was reattached. It was almost like nothing had changed.
The classic "eyes in the dark" trope followed as SpongeBob's eyes were visible as he meekly whispered "Hello?" Three new pairs of eyes opened: a black pair, a blue pair, and a green pair. A candle was lit, the flame revealing all four faces: SpongeBob, Jimmy, Timmy and Danny. SpongeBob opened his mouth to speak, but Jimmy quickly covered his mouth. "SpongeBob," he whispered, "what are you doing here?"
"Well, Jimmy," SpongeBob began, "it's nice to see you again, but I don't know what I'm doing here. I tried walking away, but something was pushing me back!" He shrugged and asked "Why is there a red D painted on some of the portraits on the walls?" The room fell silent for a few seconds before Timmy burst into tears, Jimmy sighed, and Danny shook his head solemnly before motioning for SpongeBob to come with him, walking away. SpongeBob followed him as they walked down a dark hall.
"Each Nicktoon follows a three-strike system. First strike gets you airtime only early in the morning. Second strike gets you hardly any airtime at all. Third strike," Danny sighed, "it's game over. I don't know what they do to them once they're gone." He turned to SpongeBob, who asked "What do you mean, you don't know? You're half-ghost!"
"Well, SpongeBob, they have a protective seal around whatever they do. I've tried getting in. That's how I got my first strike." Danny sighed again. I could feel sweat dripping down my forehead. I was getting this nervous over a cartoon. I pressed on out of morbid curiosity.
SpongeBob then had a furious look on his face. "This isn't right!" he shouted as he pushed another panel of the wall out of the way. He fell into a familiar-looking room.
"The... Krusty Krab set? Is this why it goes missing from time to time?" SpongeBob thought out loud. He walked around the room, observing the tools around him before coming up to a large meat grinder close to a fridge. The sponge heard a creak and hid behind the meat grinder, listening closely.
"Please! Please! I won't do it again!"
"Of course you won't, kid. Now, get in here!"
Beeping could be heard as a large sliding metal door opened. A man in a business suit dragged a young latino boy into the room. I recognized the boy as Manny Rivera. SpongeBob peered from behind the grinder. At this point, I was confused on how SpongeBob got in with the seal, but I watched anyway. It was a cartoon, after all.
Manny was in tears as the man in the business suit took him and placed him on the table. He picked up a meat cleaver. I looked away from the screen as a scream echoed through my speakers. I looked back as I heard more screaming. I could barely make out what was on the screen, but I heard mechanical whirring and sickening crunches on top of the screaming. I looked back even though I knew exactly what happened. Freshly ground meat was churned out of the grinder. SpongeBob looked sick as the strange man took the meat and formed patties. As he was frying them, however, SpongeBob leapt onto him to attack. He began strangling the strange man, but he grabbed the sponge by the neck, opened the sliding door and dragged SpongeBob up the stairs.
After SpongeBob was thrown out, he noticed two things. One of them was the fact that there were fifteen Krabby Patties steaming on the table. The second was that there were three blue ghosts. The episode ended with a black screen with white cursive text:
"Go to hell, Nickelodeon."
I immediately emailed Nickelodeon about the DVD, sending the DVD to them as well, and got a response.
"Dear Mrs. [REDACTED],
We apologize for what happened. One of our animators was recently dismissed and we believe that he created the DVD out of spite to us. We had no intention to release this, nor did we know that the DVD even existed until now. Again, we apologize.
Sincerely,
~Nickelodeon Studios"
All I know is that the whole thing was a bootleg and the Nicktoons are okay...
Right?
Credited to RainbowChalkSiamese
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